If you were invited to a wedding night do but your kids weren't? (under 10s)

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No! I have been to loads of weddings where there are no children at all.

Nah not if it was the night do i+wouldn't be

No I think thats quite common for weddings/night dos.

I was only pissed off when my cousin invited my whole family cept me and my sis to her wedding then told me she thought i wouldn't be able to get a babysitter for Immi so didn't think it was worth wasting money on a place all day for me.

Shell your cousin just sounds plain mean tbh.

I understand to an extent why people don't ask kids to the whole day but it's not something I would do because I think a wedding is about family and that includes all ages. We have 19 under 10s coming to our wedding and about 7 teenagers :/ but it wouldn't be the same without them (well most of them but one rule for all and all that ) and I think sometimes the young ones make the day and have great fun.

However we have said no extra kids to the night (only kids that have been at the day) do for various reasons but I get the feeling a few people aren't happy about this - nobody has said anything (not to our faces anyway ) but there have been hints dropped etc and I can just tell iykwim? I don't see the problem tbh - if it were me I would see it as a welcome break and chance for a night out

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hmm, i dunno, if your having kids to the day do, then i would possibly be a bit peeved if i was then invited to the evening, but not my kids, i dunno if its just me ( probably) but i think if i was gonna have kids at the day, then i wouldnt be able to say to the evening guests that they couldnt bring theirs?

No I wouldn't be offended. In fact I wouldn't want to take mine because it would be a chance for a Night out without the kids x

I kinda see what you mean Jess but the kids at the day do are all close family and 2 very close friends. Anybody invited to the night bit are just mates and extended family (you know the 2nd cousins and cousins cousins type people?) and people we don't see all that much of.

Thing is inviting kids at night would mean almost an extra 20 kids and this might sound harsh but I don't want my night do turning into a school disco .

It's also a matter of where we stop? If we invite 2nd cousins and mates kids do we also invite paul's work collegues kids (some we have met some we haven't but one rule for all again)

Argh this wedding malarky is annoying!

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yeah i see what you mean, to be honest, whatever you choose to do will be fine, it is after all your day!!! if some people get annoyed, tough really, but they will probably just be understanding

Nope. Stuarts cousin is getting married next April and we got a save the date invitation that didnt include Caitlin or bump.

Its going to be awkward as wedding will involve an overnight stay and baby will only be 4 or 5 months but thats my problem/choice whether to go or not. In ways im glad they werent invited because it means I can have a break (if my mum agree's to have my 2). If they had been invited id have felt obliged to take them and would have ended up going to the room at 8 or 9 as Caitlin would need to sleep. (The wedding venue is about 10 miles from B&Bs/hotels etc so id not even have the option of doing shifts with OH, MIL, SIL etc looking after them.)

I think in lots of cases its more enjoyable without the kids - as bad as that sounds! I can understand kids from day do staying on for convenience, but to only bring kids to night do is a bit odd imo. You dont bring kids to the pub from 8pm onwards for a night out do you? Most of the night do is just a disco/dancing/drinking (quite adult).

Yeah that's what I thought Snoops. First off I thought people would have a great excuse for a night out and second the kids would end up bored and tired anyway. Parents wouldn't be able to have a drink and relax either. It's bad enough that I wont have anyone to babysit my two on teh night because all my options will be at the wedding (how very selfish of them eh? ) so we're gonna have some fun trying to either keep them awake or get them to sleep in buggies etc until the adults go to bed - it's not as if I can sneak of to bed at 8 or 9 to be with them.

Ah well there's no pleasing some people if they don't like it then tough coz I aint changing my mind or bending the rules for one and not the other.

I wonder if anyone will actually bring them anyway? now that would really pee me off! I remember my ex's brothers wedding was just a very small affair and then a big night do, the only kids invited were their own (fair enough) and they even stated 'no kids' in the invite but one of their mates brought their kids which then peed off some other mates who had been struggling for babysitters thinking the bride and groom had bent the rules for one person. Ended in a huge fall out between 6 of them and I'm not sure they're even talking to this day

Maybe we should've gone abroad?

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i guess if they dont like it they wont just come?when we first got invites to our friends wedding it stated no kids except for family so we told them there was a good chance we will be able to come to the ceremony but nothing else due to lack of babysitters...we didnt have a problem with them but that was just the situation, in the end tho a miracle happened and somebody had the kids and we had an amazing night without them for the first time ever lolx

I had no kids at my wedding night do, not even kids who had been through the day!

i stated all kids had to be gone by 9 latest.
simply cos i have always thought night do's were for grown ups as kids we never went to night do's
as it turned out i was up the duff and couldnt get drunkard anyway, i sneaked off to bed at 11 and didnt tell anyone but adam

i had kids at my wedding throughout the day, infact the last people to leave were my neices and rich,

but if i was invited to a work colleagues night do or any kind of party i wouldnt expect rich to be invited and would enjoy the fact the boys were not.

if it was close family then i'd be annoyed if the boys were not invited, but for distant family i'd probably not mind to much, especially if it was russ's side.

No i wouldnt be affended unless it was someone in the familys wedding if that makes sense like if my sister was getting married and said no kids id be abit peeved off xx

nope. if I was invited to the night part of a wedding I wouldnt even assume hannah was to be invited. its a party. same if I was invited to a 30th or 40th etc.

I certainly wouldnt be annoyed about it.

at the end of the day its your wedding. your choices. end of. who gives a toss what anyone else thinks.

xxxx

No I wouldnt be offended....must be nice to have a child free party!

I would be absolutely fecking delighted!
1) I could go out, be me, enjoy the wedding, wear what I want without worrying about having snot, chocolate all over me, have a good few drinks and relax without feeling guilty that I'd made a choice to be without my kids (the decsision had been made for me).

2) I wouldn't be surrounded by other peoples winging whining, rolling on tbe dance floor and touching tbe buffet!

But that's just me

Im with others on this, I did the opposite and said I didnt want kids in the church but didnt mind for the rest. this was mainly cuz I was dead shy and the church wasnt too big. (my best friend had lost her little boy less than a year before and she had already sorted out the baby not being there, she had no probs) Sounds really bad when I think about it sometimes but I fancied it. Caused a massive uproar with ohs sister in law and i think if she hadnt of dug her heels in so much I prob would of changed my mind. My neice was due beg of june we were married end. So she was going to be a tiny baby anyway, but she really kicked off big style, started with in laws being v funny with me. Then she started on my mum, rang sent letters etc, even calling up the night before, in the end my mum said it was my decision and we were all sticking by it so to do one basically!
Oppps rambling, but what im trying to say is,...i stuck to my guns and it did no harm, my sil never liked me before then and still doesnt now. (her loss) so do what you want to do, anyone who holds a grudge isnt worth it anyway.
xx hope that makes sense Debs. xx

We didnt have any kids to our night time do - only those that were there to the day time. but tbh none of our friends would bring them anyway as they all like to get pissed too much haha. i think its fair to say no kids on the night debs - and i agree it can turn into a school disco xx

I'm not attending my cousins wedding because I'm invited to the ceremony (alone) then James can join me in the evening. My mum dad sis and bro have been invited but partners only to evening !?!? How weird is that?!?
I'm not going as I'm part of a package and I come with "my family" or not at all.... Plus I have no childcare as only my aunt or mum have my kids and they're going

That's a bit odd not inviting partners until the night time tbh but I'm sure they have their reasons and tbf it's their wedding so they make the rules I guess (no matter how odd ).

It's entirely up to you whether you go or not but I would be inclined to go anyway, like I say they must have their reasons and it's not as if they have only done it to you, if it's the same rule for everybody then that's fair I guess. I must admit I have a ton of cousins all of whom have a partner and kids so if money was a major issue or my venue was too small to hold everyone I would still want my cousins there as we are fairly close but wouldn't be too bothered about their partners tbh. In that circumstance I'd hope they would understand that it's nothing personal against their partner just a matter of space/money etc.

I know what you mean about coming as a 'package' but the more I think about it the more I have to think actually no we don't come as a package ALL the time, we have to have a little bit of something for ourselves or we lose our individuality and independance. If my friends invite me out for dinner I don't go as a 'package' or if Paul was invited to a works do I wouldn't expect him to take us all with him so why should a wedding be any different?

The more I sit here and think about it the more I think why on earth am I even worrying about this? This is MY (our :/) wedding and if I don't want their kids there then that's up to me so if they have a problem with it tough. If they were decent enough to talk to me to my face about it I would explain my reasons but if they want to biatch behind my back then fine I would rather none of them came in that case! If planning this wedding has taught me anything it's to look at the bigger picture and not just assume people are trying to be awkward - we have our reasons for doing what we've done and as far as I'm concerned they're fair and valid so if they want to be petty about it then let them get on with it

Lol sorry went off an another little rant there I wonder how many more rants I can queeze into the next 10 weeks?

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Balls to what anyone thinks or if they get pissed off, it's your day and not everyone else's so do what is going to make your day/night exactly how you want it!

I wouldn't want a room full of kids at my night do either. Plus, if everyone brings their kids then everyone's going to go home early because of them!

Thats what my sil was like she was doing it all through others, when I actually called her up and explained my reasons to her etc, and she told me she had no problem at all blah blah blah, then once the invites were sent out she started. Like i said these people who are moaning about it arent worth it, any of your proper friends will stick by your decision its your day and you are entitled to call the shots for one day (so to speak)
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god all this sounds like a nightmare!!! maybe Il stay engaged for a loong while hehe or just invite no one! ha

no I wouldnt be offended if honest even if they were invited I wouldnt bring them!! lol x