This could be me being a paranoid mother but MIL has a boyfriend of seven months. We've only met him six or seven times. They came to our house this weekend and he's through the door and grabbing up my youngest before he's even said hello. He then dangles her by her ankles. At points in the day my oh is talking to him and I'm watching him staring at my youngest. He also patted my two years bottom a few times. Even when eldest bumped her head he was calling her over to kiss it better. When we first met him he played and threw the girls around. He's in his fifties and immature. He kept rubbing the MIL arm then blowing raspberries on her back having pulled up her top.I don't know if he just kicks kids but he barely knows them and is always grabbing them. It has just freaked me out him staring at them when trying to talk to him. I'm just worried as he doesn't know them and is very overly touchy with them. Am i being silly?

absolutely not babes I would have had it out by now u can never b too careful and its very rarely strangers that do things (even though he is a stranger to u)

I would deffo tell him to get his hands off my kids

Thanks Hun. He is immature but he's in his fifties and he's not had a lot to do with the kids. The way he was staring at them the other day made me really uncomfortable. Grab its not being silly x

I dont think you are being silly at all! Alarm bells would be ringing for me to. Id keep a close idea for the time being. Wouldnt go so far as to mention it to MIL yet and cause a big row, but no harm in being cautious/protective of your kids. Id also prob not allow the kids to MILS house alone incase he was there and she left them unsupervised while she did something in kitchen etc.

He could just be unsure of social boundaries with kids, but at this stage you dont know. My MIL has a partner of about 8 months and we have met him 2-3 times. He doesnt talk much to Caitlin - maybe nods and laughs when MIL does. He certainly hasnt picked her up and def wouldnt call her over if she fell. I dont think my MILs boyf is used to kids and doesnt know how to act so steps back a bit.

He sounds weird lifting your MILs top in company too. He could just be trying to impress MIL/fit in with family but I would still be a bit worried. See if he calms down a bit as you get to know him or whether he becomes more touchy. If he became more touchy Id def consider getting OH to have a word with MIL and say that its inappropriate and it either stops or he doesnt see the kids.

I'd be feeling odd too!

MIL's ex was really weird with Izzy - he tried to get her to call him Gramps and was really over familiar with her even though she hardly knew him - I didnt like it at all cos he was just a bit odd!

I would be worried as well. You can't be too careful these days and you don't know his background so he could be anyone. Could be innocent but I wouldnt want to take that chance.

he kicks kids?

my ohs uncle is a bit like this - he shows no interest as in doesnt even have conversations with the boys in the family but with the girls he smacks their bums and has even tried to touch my ohs cousins leg one day (shes 16, was probs about 14 at the time)

Ive stood and watched him sit watching hannah too when we all have family gatherings but I have let his whole family know that if this guy even dares to put a finger near hannahs bum or any other part of her body I will not sit back and let it happen - his head will be ripped from his body before he can even think about doing it again. and my oh backed me up.

however in my situation we knew before what he was like and thought it was creepy even before we were pregnant with hannah so this is something thats built up over time for me.

keep a close eye on things and try not to jump to conclusions. maybe hes nervous about meeting the family and its coming out as too over friendly but you can never be too careful.

xxx

i wouldn't like that one bit

It is a bit much, i'd feel uncomfortable. Maybe he's just trying to win you all over by being good with kids, he could feel he's being judged for being with your oh's mum. Id say something to mil.

i would find it extremely strange too =o| x

i would prob find it a bit strange but at the same time i would be questioning whether he is just trying too hard to be liked ya know !

do you know anything about him before ,,, google his name or something ?

i would also find it strange, i think i would have to say to her that you were uncomfortable with the way he was acting with the girls xx

I would also feel strange your not being silly atall xx

Your not being silly hun, its one of those worse nightmares as mother for something like that to go on. Then to find out his a pedophilest ( not saying he is he could be just be a hands on guy). I would keep an eye on you would know if he went a step to far. The thing is you dont know him and nor does ur MIL really.

Char

No, I'd be thinking the same thing! I think its very odd behaviour for someone who hardly know's you all.

I'd be the sort of person to actually say something outloud infront of everyone if he attempted to 'tap' my kids bottom or cuddle/comfort them, especially if we hardly knew him Maybe he doesn't realise he's being so overly friendly - but either way he needs to be aware that its really not that acceptable

I wouldnt like that one little bit.

I would also try to google his name, but in all honesty, I would doubt anything would come up.

One of my parents best friends kissed Aimee on the head once and my OH went mental! He stared him out and made the situation very uncomfortable and then when we got in the car he went nuts saying how he was close to punching him

I know this guy, but at the same time, my babies are my priority and I had to back my OH up 100% with it.

I agree with the others, I wouldnt let your kids go to your MIL's without you there. Im not sure what arrangements you have, and this will possibly cause some uncomfortable situations, but its always better safe than sorry.

x

Also, just a thought, im not sure what ages your kiddies are, but are you able to talk to them?

I have every intention on speaking to my girls and explaining that there are no such things as 'secrets' (ever) and that they can tell me anything. I would also teach them to realise about the 'no touch zone' of torso and that if anybody touches them there that they must come and tell you and they will be safe.

Its a horrible world that we live in, that we have to even think about doing this to our kids, but there are some nasty bastards out there.

x