Having had the second baby talk I just wondered what people thought was a good age gap? There's 3 and a half years between me and my youngest sister (and there's one in the middle) and that's nice. I was thinking that two years was actually quite a nice gap. However, I started to think about the finances and praticalities of it and wondered if three years would be better. Then Jamie would have some free nursery places so would cost less. We would also be able to use the same pushchair so wouldn't have to buy a double buggy and he would be out of nappies so cuts down on that expense. It also seems like it might be easier to have a three year old and a baby than a two year old.



However, then that seems ages away. Hubby was talking about possibly starting to ttc at Christmas in case it takes a while (although if it happens straight away again then that's less than 2 years) whereas if we're looking at a three year gap then its not for ages. We'd be talking about Christmas the year after or next summer (to take into account the taking a while) at the very earliest.



Just wondered what everyone thought about it

I wanted a two year age gap as my sis and i are two years apart (i was born the day before her second birthday) and we are really close. Immi and Josh are two years and two months apart. It is nice as Immi was old enough to understand the pregnancy and now understand that he is her brother, and they'll also be close enough to be able to play together for a while. Sometimes I do wonder whether it would have been better to wait so Immi was potty trained as I am starting to worry how I'm going to deal with that and a newborn but I guess it will just happen. It also would have been nice if Immi was settled in a pre school so she had something to go to and enjoy by herself, I worry about sending her now as I think she'll just think I'm sending her off because I have a new baby.

I don't think there is a perfect age gap as you can never completely plan it and all children/babies are different so it could be easy/hard with any gap.

There is 5 years between me and my younger sister and we get on great, and there is just over 2 years between her and our youngest sister and they fight like cat and dog lol.



I wanted a small age gap between Tyler and this baby (just as well ) because I don't want to get to Tyler being 3 and him starting pre school, probably sleeping in a bit more and being more independant, and then having to start the whole nappy/baby thing again.



3 plus year old toys are not suitable for 1 year olds really, whereas the stuff Tyler is playing with now would be ok to still have around a baby and they will be able to play with the same things rather than a 4 year old and a 1 year old.



There's lots of reasons for and against different age gaps but I think the best thing to do is to let nature decide. I believe in fate and what is meant to be will be so let nature decide what age gap you are meant to have

Ask me again in 3 months!

After Caitlin id always thought I wanted a 2-3 year gap eg start ttc when she was 18months ish and just see what happened. I got bfp when she was 20 months. Looking back it was strange ttc when she was 18months, as in many ways she was still a baby to me.

I agree about how at 3 it may be nice not needing a double buggy etc but tbh atm im glad I went ahead and ttc when I did. There will be 2yrs 4mths between them. There are days Caitlin is having tantrums and im exhausted and worry how i'l cope, but I wouldnt change getting pg for a minute. Im not totally out of the way of getting up in the night, I havent got used to not dealing with nappies etc... im still kinda in the zone lol. For me personally it would be very hard to go back to sleepless nights/weaning/nappies had I had 1-2 years of relative calm. Being pg when they 18months - 2yrs is tiring but they generally still take naps so you can rest... as opposed to them being 2.5-3 and up for 12hrs straight when you have sickness and exhaustion. Maybe if they nearer 3 but they dont require as much one on one attention/lifting so its easier in that respect.

Im an only child so it was really important for me that Caitlin had a sibbling close in age to her to share her childhood with. I cant really comment from a personal perspective what would be better in the long run regarding age dif's.

Another thought is what school years they will be in. Caitlin will be say in Year 10 and the baby in year 8 at school. I like the fact thats quite close. Iv a friend who's baby is 16 months and they are ttc and have worked out there would be 3 years between the kids at school if she gets pg after Oct eg Year 10 and Year 7 (our school intake is a bit dif to England). To me that seems a big gap at school when she is ttc from her 1st is barely 18mths. Again, perhaps for selfish reasons id prefer them at school close together to get that stage all over at once.

I suppose im nit picking a bit and thinking of things that dont really make much difference for the sake of a year. Money is prob most important deciding factor for you, dont put yourself under strain, but at the same time those things have a way of working themselves out and you would never regret a child once its here x

There is 15 months between myself and my brother and we are close (although he lives in the USA ).

With Lily and Aimee there is 22 months and then it will be 14 months between Lily and baby. So I will have 3 under 3 years old . Hopefully they will be close.

Im not going to lie though... this pregnancy is tough having a toddler and a 'nearly' toddler to look after x

God Laura the thought of being pregnant with two toddlers to look after actually terrifies me! hats off to you x

I agree, dunno how you do it laura! Iv swore this is the last time I do this lol. IF I go again im waiting at least 4-5 years.... which kinda makes a mock of my arguement about having Caitlin and this baby close to get nappys/school over at same time

I'm pleased with the age gap between my two (2years 4months - Libby was 18 months when I fell pregnant), OK it's been hard - very hard but I just know it'll be worth it when they can play together properly. Today for example; Dexter was sat on the sofa next to me and Libby was on my knee, Dexter was staring at Libby and shouting at her for attention, Libby then started prodding him (gently) and saying 'Beep' and he was giggling his little head off

There's two years between me and my sis and can honestly say with hand on heart that I hated her for the first 30 odd years. But now I love her she's great so yes small age gaps can work.

There's 7 years between my first 2 and then 12 years between the last 2. So let's say we have gaps. It works really well for us and we're all really happy. But I would never have chose these gaps, I just found it really difficult to conceive.

Susan,Libby&Dexter wrote:

I'm pleased with the age gap between my two (2years 4months - Libby was 18 months when I fell pregnant),

Ok I need to rethink my maths as I thought I conceived when Caitlin was 20 months and the age gap would be 2yrs 4 mths... *gets fingers and counts*.... ok going by due date there would be 2yrs 4mths 3 wks between my 2 ... and I conceived when Caitlin was 20 months, got BFP when she was 20.5mths... im so precise lol, for some reason that really confused me!

snoopy21 wrote:

Susan,Libby&Dexter wrote:

I'm pleased with the age gap between my two (2years 4months - Libby was 18 months when I fell pregnant),

Ok I need to rethink my maths as I thought I conceived when Caitlin was 20 months and the age gap would be 2yrs 4 mths... *gets fingers and counts*.... ok going by due date there would be 2yrs 4mths 3 wks between my 2 ... and I conceived when Caitlin was 20 months, got BFP when she was 20.5mths... im so precise lol, for some reason that really confused me!

Oh christ now you've got me thinking!



Libby was born 15/11/2008, I got my BFP end of 07/2010 (so conceived beginning 07/2010 - Libby was 19.5 months) - so yep you're right - proper baby brain going in there

We got just.under two years by a couple of days. we.thought that two years would be.good. Perry wanted.five years. in ways.i wish i waited a little bit due to the same.reasons as others. paige is still in happiest and not in school yet so its Alot to cope with. ssaying that.thoughts are.on the 3rd already where as i wanted a big gap between the 3rd but being i had problems with health this time round we are looking at just getting it out.of the way

Glad we both got that sorted out in our heads Susan! Basically we have the same age gap, im gonna drive you mad asking for tips/to give me hope when this one arrives!

I am going try next june for our second so prob be a three year gap between which is good for me.
You have got to look at ur own personal circumstances.

Char

Theres 2.5 years between me and myrother and were really close. Always have been. Theres 5 years between me and my sis and we genuinely hated each other untillI got pregnant. my brother and sister dont really speak to each other much as they have nothing in common.

If we decide to have another one and thats a big if. Then it wont be untill Amelia is in school and old enough to understand that I'll probably be in hospital for a long time on bed rest and I cant do as much fo her as I usually would.

That is through neccessity though, when I was pg with Ollie I wanted a small age gap between my kids, mind you theres 9 months between Ollie and Amelia so I couldnt have possibly planned it any smaller lol

I'll have to let you know how it goes in a few weeks but there's 18 months between my brothers and they are really close and were growing up. There's 6 and 8 years between me and my brothers and I'm not close to them and they used to hate having to look after me when we were growing up I'm glad that I'm still in the nappies/baby mode for when this one arrives and although it is a struggle chasing after Stephen whilst heavily pregnant, I'm already thinking about number 3! I'm worried about how broody I'll be when this one arrives even though it would be more sensible to wait a while. I think there's never a right time for having a baby, just do what feels right for you xxx

Every time I read a reply I think that makes sense and then read another that says something completely the opposite and think actually that makes sense too!

I'm not going to stress about it too much. We've agreed we want another but neither of us wants one right now. I want to be able to enjoy Jamie and lose some weight first

Theres 2 years between my two and its lovely, hollies at the age where there starting to play together now its so cute. I would of liked them even closer but it took a while to ttc. I love the fact that they will grow up together and not too big of a age gap between them.

There's 3 yrs between me and my brother and we always been close and getting closer as we grow older, in fact we moving to be nearer him and his family.

There's 20 years between russ and his sister and they close but i wouldn't describe it as a brother sister thing, she is the closest family member on his side though. But she wasn't around when he was young,

Then with rich and Lucas well there's 11.5 yrs between them and with rich difficulties it's lovely to watch him, think we choose the perfect age for rich to cope, but as they get older we can't see them being very close because of rich difficulties, so we ttc now.

I'd say a nice age gap is 3 yrs ( we just can't wait that long, I'll be too old ) but my nieces fight but sisters do

But whatever the age gap it will be their personalities that state if they going to be close

There is 16 months between me and my bro and we always fought like cat and dog, there's 17 months between my two and they fight like cat and dog too

But seriously when they're not fighting they adore each other and hate being apart, I can leave them alone to play together now and they're fine and Thomas really looks after Hannah. I'm glad there's a small age gap because I'd hate to get all the nappies and bottles etc out the way then have to start all over again.

Only thing I'm slightly worried about is Thomas starting nursery in January because I think Hannah will really miss him and be miserable. Even if he pops out with Paul to the shop and Hannah stays with me she stands at the window looking for him looking sad bless her. She has always had him here and they are rarely apart, Thomas even asks if she can sleep in his room at night, so it will be hard for her whereas if Thomas had been a bit older and at nursery when she came along or if she was a little younger and didn't understand so much it wouldn't be a worry.

xx

xx

there is 7 years between me and my sister not through choice sister is adopted and mum had 11 m/c before she managed to have me but we hated each other growing up but then as soon as i left school we started bonding and now we are both mummys we are even closer,

Marc is 7 years younger than his sister and 4 years younger than his brother him and his sister are closer to each other than either of them are with his brother

We wanted about a 2 yr gap so that they would play well together, and not more than 2 school years to make the logistics easier. We got a 21 month gap and it is great. Seb was too young to understand that I was pregnant but he was also too young to demand to go out to the park etc all the time and he still napped. He now doesn't remember life pre-Anna and they get on very well, although he does like to sit on her back when she's on her tummy.... Quite a few of Seb's friends have had siblings up to 6 months younger than Anna so we've got a few pairs of friends to meet up with.

Financially we've got 2 yrs of them both in nursery when if anything I'll be making a slight loss - however I think that in the long run nursery fees are going to go up more than income and we'd have to pay the same money in the end so we may as well have 2-4 tough years and get it over with.

It might sound like we'll be better off when Seb starts school - however due to a shortage of after-school care locally, and the fact that I want to be there to help with homework etc, I'm expecting to try to negotiate 5 shorter days with work, but this means putting Anna up to full-time hours for her last 2 years at nursery, so a larger gap might end up costing more in the long run. [Although 5 days doesn't cost much more than 4 at our nursery.] The cost of a double buggy is insignificant really compared to nursery fees - £200 2nd hand for a P&T. 2nd cotbed was £70 new from John Lewis (not including mattress which we'd have bought new anyway).

Also at this age Seb doesn't expect expensive toys, clothes or holidays. We're running a single small car and not going on holiday, but we can afford to take him to swimming weekly and do other local activities. In 4 yrs time when they are both at school we should be much better off. (OH is a teacher so we don't have to worry about holiday care.)

Good luck whatever you decide!