Well im sure most of you know C is a hugely fussy toddler and it drives me mental as i feel like a terrible parent when shes refusing to eat what the rest of us are having. Awens such a good eater and i worry her seeing how C is will make her change in future.

We are still struggling to find a balance. I cant cook meals i KNOW C would eat every day as it severely restricts what Awen will eat and i dont want to do that as she loves exploring food. But I worry about going down the road of making c eat what we eat or go hungry as shes lost a pound and a half again, she had actually made it to 27lb and is now down to 25.5lb again (only roughly as i just use the scales at home every 4-6 weeks or so to check). And anyone who says she will eat it when shes hungry enough hasnt met my daughter-she had no brekkie this morning based on that thinking or doesnt know how it feels to be worried about your kids eating constantly so i dont wanna just go have it or go without and make a massive battle of it. So am currently in position of doing what i thought I never would and making something else for her at meal times just to make sure shes getting enough food as shes stopped drinking milk in the mornings. Ive also put her on a multi vit

I have put some strict boundaries in place though and the other night she was sent to bed 45 mins early with a cup of milk for refusing to eat something i know she likes and shes been told if she starts messing about at suppertime she will go to bed and the following night she started again about her fishfingers which i know she likes but it was cos they were parcels with pesto so looked different so i threatened bed again and she not only ate them but enjoyed them. We have also said if she eats well or tries something new at mealtimes she gets to stay up later than Awen with mummy and daddy which shes done once and really enjoyed it. Kind carrot and stick approach i guess.

Last night for example i made casserole for all of us as I want awen to start trying stuff like that and it was delish. C wouldnt even entertain the idea which I knew in advance so i made her pasta in a tomato (with hidden veg) sauce and told her if she ate some of the casserole she could stay up late and have a pudding but if not she could eat the pasta but go to bed at the 'baby' bedtime and not have pudding. She chose the pasta and did fuss a bit when Awen got a square of choc after her casserole and melon but we explained it again and she accepted it.

Tonight they are both having pasta so as long as C eats her she will be allowed to stay up late as shes tried 5 diff types of dried fruit shes never had before too. Does this way seem sensible to people or am i making a bit of a hash of all of this? I wanna get her into healthy snacks so Awen doesnt see her eating crisps etc when shes having fruit but i cant see any other way around the meals

I have no experience of this but I think that seems fair enough. I can see what you're thinking as well. Yes its possible she would eat 'when she got hungry enough' but that could be days and actually it can go the other way because you actually stop feeling hungry. I know when my nephew would only eat bread and butter the dr said just to offer stuff but if not just let him eat that and have vitamin drops but that was a short term thing so wouldn't really work for you

Hun I had this exact issue with my two. Thomas is a notorious fussy little sod - a nightmare tbh! Hannah on the other hand is an amazing little eater and will try and enjoy anything and everything. At first I thought seeing Hannah eat things would spur on Thomas to try new thing - WRONG! but I also feared that seeing Thomas fuss over his meals and eat nothing at times would afect her and I'm happy to say it hasn't. She has had her own little fussy spells but always returns to her good eating habits and facinates me everyday with what she eats.

Unortunately I don't have an answer for you on the seperate meals thing - I have just resigned myself to cooking two seperate teas. Depending on what we are having or if we are having a late tea (after the kids are down) Hannah will either have what we are having or what Thomas is having but usually a mixture of the two or Thomas will get an adapted version of what we are having.

I have come to the conclusion, after over 2 long years of taring my hair out that a fussy eater is more nature than nurture - I really do not care what anyone says any more and agree completely with your opinion on 'they will eat eventually' thing - not all kids respond to this. I have done NOTHING differently with my children - they were weaned exactly the same and and have always been offered the same variety of foods. Yet one refused point blank from 10 months on to eat anything and has slowly added a few very restricted meals to his repertoire and the other will literally eat and try anything. One also has a terrible sweet tooth and the other could take or leave sweets but would kill for a couple of pringles .

It's not ideal to cook different things and is something I always swore I wouldn't do but in reality it's not that much extra work and everyone eats a good healthy meal and is happy. My kids are like chalk and cheese in so many ways, I wouldn't try to make them play with the same toys or like the same book/film etc so why would I expect them to have the same tastes and views on foods? Thomas is getting slightly better as time goes on (tiny tiny baby steps mind you) and eventually I'm sure we will find a happy medium but I was at my absolute wits end trying to impose new foods on him so eventually I resigned myself to cooking his limited menu and life has been so much more calm so I'm sticking to it.

Sorry - had a little mini rant of my own there but 'fussy eaters' is a topic very close to my heart and I have become so sick of reading/hearing people practically blame me for my sons fussyness and I feel slightly vindicated in the fact that my second child has been raised exactly the same and eats anything put in front of her. The more of your posts I read hun the more your kids sound just like mine! so try not to stress about it - as long as C is eating and getting a balanced diet do what you have to do to keep her healthy and happy (I don't mean give in to her whims when she wont eat things you know she likes etc - you are doing exactly right there). She will improve as she gets older but I know how stressful it is when they wont eat, look skinny and pale and you feel you're to blame and have gone wrong somewhere

xx

yep sounds like a good plan hun.

I also know how frustrating it is when they dont eat and Libby also would just not eat if she had the chance - she hardly ever asks for food (unless it's chocolate ). Thankfully she seems to of perked up slightly with her eating and is eating most if not all of her meals *at the moment*, no doubt she'll be fussy again very soon. I've weighed her on our scales at home and she is dead on 10kg so 22lbs and is skinny as hell

it sounds good hun you are giving her choices that come with a reward or being treated like a baby (going to bed at baby time) it makes it her decision and from the sounds of it she likes to be in control your giving her control but on your terms and either way she will eat.

Thanks guys

Deb yes I often think my two sound like your two and judging people with fussy eaters or offering unhelpful advice like 'dont give in' is also a bugbear of mine. And Jade thats basically my thinking, giving her an element of choice but controlling what she can choose.

Suse hon we discuss this all the time and im glad Libs is being good atm cos god knows our two seem to sync so im sure about the time she starts acting up so will C. Its like they also have FB cht or something!

Well in the last cpl day of carrot vs stick we have had some more breakthroughs. I doubt I will get fresh fruit in for some time yet but shes tried dried cranberries, dried blueberries, dried cherries, papaya and pineapple cubes and enjoyed them all. She is now demanding a pot of berries be taken out on all walks and as we walk along her and Awen share them. She particularly likes 'vampires' (papaya). We have also gotten her onto smoothies so i already have a juicer and got a book on juices to see if I cant get her to try some different juices, im trying carrot and apple first to see how we go and might be able to sneak some veg in. We are also getting to the point she has an ellas kitchen pouch at every supermarket visit and again i dont mind the 3 odd pound a week to get that in her. And ive found out she eats banana at shool :O, im not pushing her to eat it at home or mentioning it, if shes happy to eat it there its extra goodness and nutrients. So on the new food front we are making a breakthrough.

On the dinner battles tonight she had tomato soup which she loves and started messing about so I calmly said you either eat it or its bedtime and she settled right down and ate it and when she finished I said that since she had eaten well she could stay up late and once Awen went to bed I read her two stories and we played with her RC car. So she seems to have cottoned on to the idea (fingers crossed, im sure as ive said this now she will retract that)

So today shes had a croissant for brekkie, at lunch she had a berry smoothie, some papaya and berries (dried), cheese on toast and monster munch crisps then at coop she had a fruit pouch and at dinner she had tomato soup with croutons. For her thats a really good day

Ive also got a graze box coming tommorrow ive signed up to start getting em for a while and 1st ones free, second ones half price and have some vouchers for money off others so if she likes them will keep them up, we are gonna big up that they are posted specially for her and Awen and let them pick at them without interference to see what they both try in the hope we get some new snack ideas.

Well first snack idea-shes eaten a big handful of pumpkin seeds out her box today and declared them YUMMY! Loving this! That makes pumpkin seeds, dried raisins, cranberries, blueberries, cherries, pineapple and papaya (or vampire) in our repertoire this week alone!