Evenin ladies,

I am having issues with my toddlers bedtime routine as she is/was a severe reflux baby! We have a little girl who is great at sleeping through, but only if she goes to sleep on us first (this happened because of advice re her reflux - keep her upright and relaxed on you for half hr etc etc..........and hence we are still here and still doing it!

I absolutely hate the idea of controlled crying, and fail miserably when i try to do it!

Is it my only option???

Aimee has aways been a great sleeper, but to be honest, we have had a few nights in the last few weeks and we have had to do controlled crying. It has been so hard, but it really has been worth it.

We never let her get too distressed and always pop up every 10 minutes, but she just needed to know she wasnt allowed downstairs.

x

I don't think its the only option, but if you have tried everything else without success it probably is.

Have you tried the method with putting them down, stroking head, shusshing etc til she goes off and then just standing there the next night, moving further away each night? Did you eventually get her to sleep with the stroking etc if you tried it?
x

We havent got very far with any options because the second she goes in her cot she screams, and gets hysterical!!!

If we leave her and walk out she is an absolute mess............and it breaks my heart..........so off i go back in again!!!

Im feeling like ive let her down big time, and right now im not liking myself a whole lot!!

No you haven't let her down, you did what she wanted at the time!

When you get her drop off on you - is that in her room by the cot or is it downstairs or something - I am just thinking if its in her room she should feel comfy with dropping off there.

My only trick that we use with Izzy is white noise, I put the radio onto static and turn it fairly loud, it only needs to be on for a few minutes and she has dropped off...I think cos its a noise it helps their brain to shut down and calm down. Maybe give it a go and see if she settles with it on?
x

Hi Lisa, we did controlled crying with Imogen at 5months and although it's hard at first once you do the first night it's fine and gets so much easier. We recently had to redo it all as she got out of routine on holiday and it was much harder cause she got so much more distressed but it only took 1 night of screaming and she settled herself the next night. So if you feel you can do it i really do recommend it. It breaks your heart but i just had to think it's the best thing for everyone. Also try to distract yourself, like make some food or something so you're not just sitting listening to her. xx

Hi lisa
i have had many sleeping problems with callum i did try CC twice different times and it didnt work wither time. i went to hv in the end and they gave me a totally different method and routine which has helped. Im doing the method of not leaving them but being by the side of the cot after his milk i lay him down with his music on and rub his back lightly untill he drifts off other days whens he tired he will go down without me rubbing but i have notcied he behaves better if im in the room rather then leaving him if i leave he gets up & plays n moans wheres if he knows im there he does go to sleep xx

Totally uinderstand where you are coming from, silent reflux (not loads of sick but more like a sicky burp so it burns) has been a huge issue with both my kids, hence sleeping issues, my daughter has only just started sleeping through the night 2 months ago (13 months), still occasional waking but nothing like it was, I used to get up to her over 20x most nights it was hell which I thought would never end.

I never had a problem with laying her down in her bed as I learnt my lesson with my son, he was always cuddled to sleep and then laid down and I had many years of trying to get him to teach hiself to fall asleep, and only thing that did eventually work was controlled crying, I tried all other methods and also had sleep clinc visit me at home as I had alsmot given up (also had sleep clinic with my daughter, but they agreed I was doing everything correctly this time, it was reflux and habit I had to break).

Firstly have you got a good bedtime routine - this is crucial in control crying, they need to know its bedtime, what I did with my son, who was in a bed before he learnt to fall asleep, first I would tell him by giving him a count down to bathtime and that bedtime would follow. I would then sit and read a story away from distraction in his room and then tuck him in bed.

It took a week of controlled crying, and taking him back and putting him back into bed, and he also got up in the night so had to put him back, but eventually it got less and less each night, I had hit breaking point by this time and was not backing down - first night he persisted for 2 hours, but the second night he only did 30 minutes and so on until he just didn't fight it. It does work, but you really have to be strong if you are going to do it, and it does cause a lot of tension in the house but once its done you will kick yourself for not doing it sooner, trust me I know!

Good luck, if it doesn't work for you or really isn't an option then I am sure there must be alternative methods, speak to your HV if you need more advise that is how I got sleep clinic to visit x

I am going through exactly this and have tried cc and failed big time..... Hannah was silent reflux and very very colicky baby and the only was she got to sleep was on us, up until about 6 months she used to stay in her cot all night (after getting the colic and reflux out the way) but once the teething started she wanted that comfort again of being on us, I am completely worn out at the min as I dont know what to do, some nights she wont give in and will not got to sleep until 9pm/10ish at night, I know being preg doesnt help but i am really starting to panic about how im going to cope when this baby gets here
Ive made a rod for my own back as I take Hannah into our bed and she will fall asleep straight away and then hubby moves her when he comes to bed or will come up if its early (as you can gurantee i fall asleep with her) and she does tend to sleep through then. I cant put her in her cot at night she screams instantly, Ive tried sitting in her room reading a story but all she wants to do is play, so that doesnt work either for me. I have tried sitting in the room right next to the cot but because she starts stressing as soon as i put her in the cot she doesnt care what I do till i pick her up.
Im hoping to get her in a bed in the next 2 weeks and at least even if I have to lie with her I can get in her bed and get her used to the idea of falling asleep in there. I really dont know what the prob is as if she has ever stayed at my mums she goes to sleep straight away in the cot there (not that ive dared leave her for a while now) I feel right down about it today (sorry for crashing your post) - mainly due to her teething at the min and none of us getting any sleep.
She doesnt seem to be able to switch off, think i might try the white noise thing next though.
Sorry for crashing your post again, just wanted to say you arent alone at all, and hopefully watching this post i might get a bit of help too

xx

We did controlled crying and it worked, Dylan has always been a good sleeper. I am big a fan of it, even though it is really hard and you feel terrible, it doesn't take long to see results. And you know the cries your child makes, you know when they are just seeking attention or genuinely hurt/upset.
However just recently Dylan has had a few nights of being really unsettled (I blame the teeth . . . horrible things!!) and has had a couple of nights where he will not settle and got himself into a terrible state so I went in to his room and lay on the floor next to his cot, didn't say a word to him, and closed my eyes. He settled really quickly and fell asleep, so I snuck out and got back into my bed!
Both myself and OH do not want to get into the situation of doing this too often, but definitely prefer this to Dylan coming into our room/bed, so when I know there's a reason (i.e. teething) I don't mind the occasional night in his room, but mostly we leave him to get himself back to sleep. He will thank us in the long run!!

we did controlled crying but only after trying everything else. and it worked first night for us.

there is another option where you sit by her bed, until she falls asleep. you completely ignore her but she'll feel safe knowing your there. then you slowly move away every few nights until your outside the door