Hey
Sorry in advance but need a vent and you ladies always so good to talk to. Cos its been a rubbish start to the week.

Dunno how many of you know i own a timeshare in tenerife, my parent s basically got conned about 3 years ago into buying a portfolio. At the time they got 5 appartments and were convinced by the sellers they would be sold on by the company and make more back than the loan they took out to buy em. In those 3 years they have sold 1. My parents use one each year cos why the hell not and they gave one to us as a gift. So two still waiting to be sold 3 years on and my parents paying the loan back. Neil and I havent even made it to our apartment yet cos its in early march and by the time we get the money together to pay the maintenance each december just before xmas we have sod all left to pay for flights plus being preg and C being so small and now being preg again its untenable so we have been paying 300+ each december for maintenance and not going. My parents are even worse as they are having to pay a grand each dec for theirs while they are waiting to get em sold.

We have looked into trying to offload em but theres no way round it - no buggers buying ive seen a website with 2000 ads on it for similar ons to ours and they wont take em back off us. So Mum and Dad found a travel agent company in bristol who take em off you and told my parents you get 70% back of what you paid. We went yesterday with them to this meeting hoping like hell to get it sorted once and for all as the long range projections is the maintenance going up 10% every single year.

Turns out not so good. They said the company they use to get the money back takes 51 months to get itback and you have to pay em a premium. Not only that but you have to pay this company to get the things gone. They said they could lower costs by waiving the reclaim so not paying the hugepremium. After legal fees, transfer fees and various other fees and this company takes their cut to get rid of 3 apartments was 6000 pound but as we had 4 they ould do 4 apartments for 6 grand.

At this point I sat an laughed at the woman and said i dont have 2 grand. She said but you will pay it out over time anyway and i said i know and i feel trapped by it but doesnt change me not having 2 grand now. Mum then stepped up and said she was gonna pay the lot cos she couldnt see any other way out of it. So anyway she paid and to be fair the time shares are gone but i feel terrible. Mum tried to do a kind thing by giving us this gift and because of that shes now in debt. Shes still paying off the initial investment and its now been upped by 6k. She knows we will struggle to pay her back cos of going on mat leave but she feels guilty for geting us in the timeshare in the 1st place and ha said not to bother paying her back.

I feel so awful i couldnt stop thinking about it yesterday and laid in bed thinking about it when i went to bed. When our car was written off in may we were only gonna get 600 quid after finance for a new one and mum lent us another 1500 to get a decent car. Ive bust my ass for 7 months paying her back and finally cleared my debt and despite what she says about not paying her back i feel like i owe her 2 grand all over again as i dont feel i can leave her to clear this herself. Neil and i have said any spare money we get we are going to make sure she gets it but im worried about my parents, I know they arent so well off this wont make em struggle financially and the company my mum works for has been threatening liqudation once already. If i wasnt such a f***wit with money maybe i could have covered this myself. Finally got some spare money this month and ended up having to replace our knackered fridge and computer and pay the car tax and timeshare money and now i think sh*t i could have given my mum some of that. The company are refunding mum and i the maintenance so ive told em to redirect my cheque so she gets 300 at least towards it.

Just feel like im letting everyone down at the mo. C has been a devil since going in her own bed. Ive been up to her over various nights at 3 or 4am or shes up at 530 or last night spent an hour with her screaming hysterically trying to get her to sleep and same for 30 mins today at naptime. She didnt nap in the end today and then just wanted daddy after big bad mummy has been at her. Net result was though she was dead by 7 and fell into bed tonight but i dont know whatim doing wrong. Im home every day with her and feel i should make more of our time together but im tired and grumpy and mis and feel so sorry for her having such a horrible mummy. Im feeling rubbish about being so crud my mums got 2k extra of debt on her plate cos i dunno where im gonna find the money t pay her back next year and im such a numbnuts our entire savings are gone just to pay a 300 pound bill cos im so crap. Always grumpy with neil and feel like im leaving him to do too much cos my back and hips hurt so im always asking him to do x y and z cos i cant do it myself.

Generally feeling pretty crud about myself right now. Sorry for long long long one just needed to blow off steam

Right now listen here, we all know and you know, that you are NOT a terrible mother. Ive seen it myself you are a fantastic, hands on and devoted mum. I know its easy for me to say and hard for you to appreciate when you feel like shit C will learn that Mummy/Daddy/ people are not always happy and well, they sometimes get sad and down like the whole human race, thats life !!! If it helps, Im also shite with money Im terrible at managing it and my mum has helped me out tremendously over the years. If she's like most people's mum, she helps out because she loves you and its no-one's fault that you've lost out with these apartments, again this shit happens. I was silly enough to have a credit card when i was 21 and im still paying off a big loan just because i had to get rid of the HP on my car. A big chunk of my money goes to pay these off each month, it was a mistake but i cant do anything about it now. I will deffo ret and pop down one day to see you both xx

your mum wouldn't have offered to do that for you if she didn't want to, i'm the same when my mum does stuff like that but i'm sure we'll be the same with ours when they're older.

you definately shouldn't question yourself as a mother, its obvious that you're completely devoted to C . Over tiredness and being pg with all those hormones sloshing around isn't easy, give yourself a break, things will get better xx

Aw hun, I'm so sorry it didnt go well in the meeting. As for you being a terrible mum - WHAT??? No chance - you are an absolutely amazing mummy, honestly!!

It is an absolutely lovely thing that your parents are doing for you hun and I can understand why you would feel guilty - I would feel exactly the same BUT they wouldnt offer if they didnt want to help hun.

I wish I could say something to make you feel better xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hun

Listen here you are by no means a terrible mum far from it. I know you feel bad that your mum has helped you out of this tough patch financially. When I was off on long term sick my parents were forever feeding my during the day, buying me things and they are both pensioners, I don't like them doing it but they are like we are your parents. They have helped my brother out to a huge extent as he got himself into debt which really pisses me off as they remortgaged their house. I am sure your mum just wants to help you out hun, I am sure you will be the same with your little stunt chickens when they are older.

OK..If I wasn't so damn far away lady I would seriously put you over my knee and paddle you! You have no control over what transpired on that time share, you and every person that bought into those have lost mega money due to the economy..none of this was any of your mom's fault or yours. Your mom was lovely to offer that to you and she knows you two are hanging on by a thread due to your having(ordered) to stay home and get thru a pregnancy from pretty much hell. All of this will be resolved eventually, and all of you will come out on the other side pretty much unscathed toots. You are the most incredible mom to that little gorgeous angel..and everything she is and is becoming is a tribute to you and Neil! Stop beating yourself up on matters that are completely out of your hands! One day you will be in a position to help out your mom, but right now..sweating and worrying about it is not gonna be good for you..Arwen..C and Neil! And I am positive, if your mom knew you were this wound up..she would feel even worse off! xxx

I want to just echo what the others have said you are a fantastic mum x
Your mum wouldnt have offered to pay it off is she didnt want to or expected you too but i can understand id feel the same i would feel guilty and want to pay it back xx

All I can say is what they ^^^^^ all said!

Xx

Cheers guys. Not much i can do now i guess but its just buggin me. Hate owing ppl money with a passion but like meg a big chunk of my wages goes on paying off debts i accrued when young and stupid so enough left to live on but im not great at getting savings, i tell you though once this is done im getting something put away for future

Lets hope my c-fish sleeps better4 tonight and maybe we can go to the park for some mummy caelyn time tommorrow