As most of you know me and OH are engaged but to be honest I don't see us getting married anytime soon as we have no money lol. I know you can get married on a budget pretty easily these days but I doubt we'd be able to afford the ceramony.

BUT it doesn't mean I love him any less, or that we are any less committed to eachother or that we won't spend the rest of our lives together. So it got me thinking, does marriage really matter that much?? Is it just a piece of paper and another expense??? Some say it makes them feel more secure being married, but in my opinion a break up can occur just as easily in a marriage as it can in a relationship....

What do you ladies think?? Should I just ditch the wedding and go on the honeymoon instead lol xx

I've never wanted to get married and i don't think i ever will

ummmmm i do feel different being married, there are times when i have (however briefly) thought, if we weren't married we would be having very serious words about this relationship! and probably being married has saved us at times from getting hysterical about small things that get out of hand

Hmmm, it was something that was important to me and I wouldn't change being married for the world, as I do feel as though our relationship has changed so much since that day. But then to a certain extent I can see what you are saying, I guess if its something that isn't important to you then it wouldn't matter either way xx

hmmm I am engaged too and have been engaged for 2 years now, I do want to get married because I want to share a special day and show our love for eachother to have something to look back on... you know just our special day when we showed our commitment.

However, I dont think it will happen anytime soon because it isn't the most important thing I want to do and even if we didn't get married it wouldn't actually change our relationship it's just something nice that I would like to do

I think it's important, to me, but I don't know why other than I want that "normal" family of mummy and daddy being married and I don't want anymore children until we are. I'm not even engaged but we are getting married next year, and he knows it. I'm going a Wedding Fayre on Saturday with my friend, and we've been looking at rings so he's got the hint

Its really important to me. We got engaged when i was 17 and didnt get married until i was 22 so it was along time but it gave us time to make sure we were meant to be together. Personally i didnt want any children until we were married as i didnt want to have a different surname to my baby. I think our relationship is on a total different level since we got married. I wouldnt say i love him any more than i would have - but there seems to be more depth to the relationship.

x

I got married when there were still tax incentives to do so (well that was my OH's motivation anyway)

For me the wedding was just a day and was more about other people than OH and me. We got married on a Saturday and were both back in work on the Monday.

The only real benefit to being married is that for official purposes it is a lot less complicated because the laws are clearly defined.

Marriage is what happens when all the confetti has washed away.

GillandWil wrote:

I got married when there were still tax incentives to do so (well that was my OH's motivation anyway)

For me the wedding was just a day and was more about other people than OH and me. We got married on a Saturday and were both back in work on the Monday.

The only real benefit to being married is that for official purposes it is a lot less complicated because the laws are clearly defined.

Marriage is what happens when all the confetti has washed away.

Gill i am not feeling the romance here!!!

For me marriage means officially committed. I do feel more secure with that little piece of paper than I did before we got married. I think other people also take the relationship more seriously when your married. When we lived common law..I didn't feel that tied to him, even tho we already had Matthew. It's hard to explain, probably best to get an answer from those who have just tied the knot to how they feel now..compared to before.

For me marriage is important from a legal perspective, like Gill says it's clearly defined what the law is with regard to legal and financial matters.

From a romantic side there's something lovely about being someone's wife and it can make you feel closer, on the downside if you do split up it's a fecker to get rid of them

^ i still feel really grown up when i say 'mrs'.......'oh actually...it's mrs.....smirk smirk'

Iv always dreamed of the big white wedding when I was little. SInce meeting OH whos totaly agaisnt marriage I have sort of changed my mind.

OH says its a piece of paper, waste of money, doesnt make any difference if anything puts more strain on. (all his family have split not stayed married and had nasty divorces)
where as I want to get married, so important to me. If we didnt have the kids then maybe I wouldnt be as fussed but what really bothers me is that they have a differnet surname to me thats what bothers me more now and quite easily have the small wedding just family.

xxx

I would love to marry Luke if we had the funds to do it. But id much rather put money to better use for now (buying a house) Where as a friend of mine is about to spend a hell of a lot of money for her wedding day, that could be used for a deposit for a house!
Im sure we will get married one day, i only want a small wedding but Lukes family is huge and every single one of them have had huge weddings...
My mum and dad were together for over 25 years but only got married in may 2002 and my dad passed away in the june...so mainly for legal reasons, which is a bit sad.

mariheartselijah wrote:

^ i still feel really grown up when i say 'mrs'.......'oh actually...it's mrs.....smirk smirk'

Me too!!! In fact I still cant get used to being a 'Mrs'

I dont really know why we got married TBH, we'd been together 7 years but were adamant that we didnt want children (oh how things change!), I think we just kind of thought, right we've got our own house what's the next step? And that was it decision made. We had the smallest of weddings but it was lovely.

Now I am so pleased we are married, it's important to me that we all have the same surname. xx

LOL I too feel grown up when I use Mrs!!!

Being married wasn't a big deal to us either until Lottie came along, then we knew it was right for us...plus the whole legal thing, pensions, life insurance thing etc makes things easier.

I also really liked being married when I was PG the 2nd time. I dont know why but it just felt different and liek Susan, it's so much nicer all of us having the same surname.
xx

I never wanted to get married untill we had Ollie. Even while we were having him I was adamant that it didn't change anything and I din't need a bit of paper to know thatwewere together for ever. Now though i want the same name as my son. I've even delayed getting him a headstone so that when it goes up we all have the same name.

From a legal point of view it also makes it easier. I looked into things after I'd had Ollie morbid curiosity I suppose because it was was touch and go wether I'd survive and if I'd died and Ollie lived he would have gone to my mum not my oh untill he proved he was his father, which worries me alot!

Kate wrote:

GillandWil wrote:

I got married when there were still tax incentives to do so (well that was my OH's motivation anyway)

For me the wedding was just a day and was more about other people than OH and me. We got married on a Saturday and were both back in work on the Monday.

The only real benefit to being married is that for official purposes it is a lot less complicated because the laws are clearly defined.

Marriage is what happens when all the confetti has washed away.

Gill i am not feeling the romance here!!!

Kate you know me too well. I don't do romance. Never did and after 11 years of marriage I am not about to start.

means a lot to me - when i met oh i said i was never evewr getting married because theres not one family member that isnt divorced in my family!
but thats all changed now - i feel like its the last think to make us 'complete' as a family, i want us all to have the name last name (not by deedpoll lol) and i just want to be married to daniel.
We have been engaged for 18 months but theres no way we can afford a wedding anytime soon, need to sell this house and get a bigger one first!
x

I like being married, it feels complete somehow. I dont think it would have been the end of the world if we didnt but i def prefer that we did. Its not so much the Mrs for me as the ring. Its a big deal to me to wear a ring. Initially Neil didnt have a ring as he works with car parts and we decided not to buy him one just me, yet for some reason the day after the wedding it bothered me so much that on our honeymoon I bought him one and he now says he couldt imagine not wearing it.

Mind saying that with his hand problem atm and my swollen hands neither of us are wearing em and we both hate it, they are in a silver box together

hhmmm interesting one,

i've always dreamed of the big wedding but having rich and being a single mom i resigned msyself to being alone forever.
then along came russ and he blew me off my feet, i knew on our first date he would be my hubby, we started planning our wedding 6months after meeting and we got married 2yrs and 4days after we met.

calling myself mrs ?? is lovely i have to say, it seals our love for each other, we been married 3yrs april and i have to say i love him more each day, for us we adore being married, even on our phones hes called my hubby and i'm the wife.

rich doesnt share our surname, we've letting him choose and at the moment its 50/50 what he calls himself, russ is looking at adopting him next year so he will have a choice of surname.

i had a huge white wedding, well if i was going to do it, i was doing it how i always dreamed and we did and we had amazing day

I love being married.

It means alot to me that I have the same name as my kids and it also makes me feel special that James loved me enough to want to marry me. It sounds silly, but makes sense in my head, lol!

I think its because he was not the marrying type, so it was a huge deal that he wanted to do it.

x

it was important to me and i refused to have any children until we were married i wanted to do it "the so called right way" married then children. I did this i still feel very proud to say im Mrs even though Mrs Rhodes still sounds odd to me and Miss Selwood sounds right.

I felt that it offered more stability for my family as its harder to walk away from a marrage than a relationship.

Like Mari i can think of countless times when i said to him and myself if we wernt married we would be having serious words or i would walk but i personally think you work harder to save a marrage than you do to save a relationship.

this is all my personal oppinion and not what is right or wrong xxx