Well the day arrived and mini meltdown occurred.

I have been crying since friday morning on and off and lost it earlier. I got in the car and just drove. I have never felt so alone in my life and don't know how much more of feeling like this I can handle. I can't let others see that i'm not coping as people already think I won't be able to cope if we do have a little one. I feel mentally, psychically and emotionally exhausted. I love my oh to bits but am hurting him so much as he is watching me self destruct.

Sorry for the negativity just find writing how I feel helps a bit

Hun all i can offer is a great massive hug and to tell you that i am certain things will start looking up for you soon. We are all here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

aww i really have no idea what to say...i know nothing i will say will make you feel better but am sending you a massive hug and a remnder that when you've got us AB/Banda girls you're never alone xx we're all here for you

big hugs hun, are you sharing how you feel with your hubby? don't keep things bottled up, it always makes things seem so worse. I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on x

oh hun i'm sorry you feel this way, please dont bottle it up, chances are your oh feels the same.

i dont know what to say, i wish i could give you a big hug! as the ladies have already said if you want to talk you have us all here to listen. sometimes it can help xxxx

Hi Diane,

just want to echo whats been said, we are all here for you,

Do you see anyone, if not is it worth trying to see someone, regularly to maybe figure out what your triggers are, or give you tips on dealing with your anxiety etc.

I just want to give yo a massive hug xx

so wish i lived closer to you xxxxx

Piglet have you spoken to your GP and said that you are going down hill a bit? Maybe they could adjust your meds? (if your on any) Or refer you, my mum got CBT and that helped alot, though she had to wait a year or 2....

If you need someone to talk to in person you could ring a helpline like the samaritans or lifeline just to get things off your chest. Have you contacted aware defeat depression? They have local support groups all across NI. It may benefit you to meet people in similar situations and make new friends who understand and can support you.

Im sure your OH loves you and wants to help.

Im so sorry you are feeling so low. Please dont ever think no one cares. You can PM me any time hun. We are all here. xxx

Aww i'm so sorry hun. I haven't been around much so i don't know exactly whats been going on with you but big hugs. I've often felt the way you are now, feel free to pm me anytime. xx