Ive just got a message off some guy in facebook... his name is karl andit's not the first time hes got in touch with me (he had my old mobile number when I lived in Jersey)
what I know to be the truth is that he went out with my mum before she got with my dad and had me... he then became a heroine addict and got thrown out of the army where he was with my dad.

ok... so his message said he's my biological father and his kids know about me and want to meet me and tyler as he is their nephew (well thats impossibel as we're in cyprus they're in jersey)

but what do I do? my mum knows he contacted me once before and she told him to f off. she also told me that he thinks he is my dad but he's not... i look like my dad and both my sisters but I also know that my name got changedd by deed poll and my dad put on my birth certificate when I was younger.. i dunno what to think.

Thats really hard....but my gut instinct would be somehow to get a test done to prove he is/or isnt!

If hes told his family, he must really think you are. And hes contacted you before so hes not gonna go away easily is he??

I would speak to your mum again too, and ask why he is so insistant!

Its a can of worms potentially, so Im sending huge hugs for support!

thanks hun.... I'm just in shock... I know what my mum will say..."he's crazy he used to be a heroine addict he doesn't have a clue" as thats what she said last time.

I feel like I'm betraying my Dad if I speak to this guy but it isn't the first time he's got in touch and there ar some weird things that happened when I was younger so confused right now!

Oh wow what a situation!
I'd also be inclined to have some sort of DNA test done.
It sounds as if you may think he is your biological father?
I think you need to think about what you want if he is your father? would you want to have contact with him? how would that effect your relationship with your mum and 'dad'
I really could open a can of worms but if you are prepaired for that and you have support you should be ok! what does your oh think to it all?

I would speak to your mum and be more insistent, she's probably just trying to protect you if he is your biological father. hope it goes ok an you get the answers you need x

Wow Jade thats a hard one! I would be wondering why hes so insistent hesyour dad if he wasnt? But i agree to get a DNA test done. Theres no point in involving kids if its untrue.

Maybe u cud get on Jezza Kyle?!!

haha Amy Id love to go on Jeremy Kyle as long as no one i knew got to see it.

To be honest I dunno what Id' want from him... but I know it'd make my relationship with my Dad even more stained (we were never THAT close and now I'm wondering if that's more evidence)

I don't even know how we'd get a DNA test done as I'm in Cyprus he's in Jersey... I agree it's the only way to be sure.

I don't want to get my Mum involved as she's obviously not told me for a reason... she did tell me that he thought he was my Dad and i just thought oh what a nut case. but now I've got Tyler I feel quite sorry for the guy...
What has he got to gain by pretending he thinks he's my dad... he must really believe it. Last time he got in touch with me I must have been about 17 so it was 8 years ago and he's still trying...

I have Tylers birthday party tomorrow and I feel like this has tainted it all now... I feel like I'm not the same person even though i dont even know if he's telling the truth I just feel like an outcast in my own family

could he maybe purchase a dna kit do his bit send it to you you do your bit and then send it off ?
x x

I dunno maybe... lol probably... I dunno how these things work

Oh hun
he sounds like he honestly thinks hes ur bio dad. I understand why u dont wanna bring ur mum into it. I would get a dna done if possible could u try googling it see if u can find out any information on dnas on there xx

you can do dna by post, but i'd talk to your mom say your plannning tests, she may then come clean if needed, i think her response will tell you.

also sending a huge hug as this must be a shock.

I think I would have to go down the DNA testing route.

Here is a company who will do the test even if you are based in different countries. The cost is £149.

http://www.ibdna.com/regions/UK/EN/?page=faq#11

I am sure that this guy would be willing to pay it, afterall, why should you, as he is the one who has come to you with all of this.

I really hope you manage to sort it out hun x

Ive asked him why he's so sure he's my Dad and he says he was with my mum during her pregnancy but she left him before she had me... he had contact with me until I was 3 and then when my mum married my Dad they took contact away from him and bought me up as if my Dad was my dad...

I remember the day my mum and dad got married and I said "now I can call you Dad"

It all adds up to me but I can't ask anyone I dont think they'd be honest and if hes NOT my dad I feel like Ive betrayed my mum and dad.

Ive found some places that do DNA tests all over the world and send kits to different addresses so I think that's what Im gonna do.

He says my mum my nan and my mums brother know but my mum told him to never tell me. Like I said he's been in touch with me about 8 years ago too but never said he WAS my dad...

I feel sick and strange its horrible... I see things like this on Jeremy Kyle all the time I never in a million years thought it would be me

explains why me and my Dad aren't very close too...

I'm sorry but things do seem to be pointing in the direction of him being your biological father. You really do need answers and you're not a young girl any more so maybe your mum will be more honest with you? If it is true there might be more behind it than what he's letting on, in terms of why she stopped him having contact and let another man bring you up as his own.

I say have a word first, i know you're scared that it might cause trouble but it's only fair on you that you know the truth. & then if you're still not satisfied then go for a dna test?

really hope you get to the bottom of this soon hun xx

OMG what a shock for you! I think you've got to go down the dna route for peace of mind for yourself plus if god forbid you ever had something wrong with you or Tyler you would need to know your full medical history, hugs hun and good luck wih whatever you decide xxx

I hope you find out for sure hun, what a mess...
Obviously your mum has done this to protect you and quite possibly now feels guilty hence not fessing up... Its seems to point that way, - as I honestly don't believe any man in his right mind would just drop a message with that content....
Can you not advise your mum that you would like the truth and with or without her blessing your'e going to speak to your uncle or nan...
If you asked face to face surely you'd be able to read their reactions??

Ive spoken to my mum about him before and I believed what she said although I didnt outright ask if he was my Dad.

I just think it's better for me to do a DNA test in private first and then if he is my dad to ask my mum about it... If she told me he wasn'tm y dad I think Id always wonder what the truth was... what if she isn't 100% sure anyway?

Im not angry for them keeping it from me as there probably are reasons... things that make me think this guy is wrong is just because my mum and I quite often dsicuss things like this and she always say oh id never keep any child from their father they'd only end up resenting the mum... so i dont know why she'd do it unless she truly believed id never find out...

I think Ive convinced myself the only way is a DNA test... I dont even care about paying for it myself just to put my own mind at rest!

maybe your mum has convinced herself that he is not your dad hun ,,,,,,, the only way you are going to find out is by doing a dna test !

maybe say to your mum he has been in touch again and to finalise things for him and prove he aint your dad then he is more than welcome to pay for a dna test ?
deceiving slightly but rather she was slightly aware than you went behind her back ?
x xx

I got brave and asked my Mum... she looked really upset and told me there was no way he could be my dad and spouted out all these dates and reasons why he wasn't my Dad.

she must have thought about it overnight because this morning she told me he could be my Dad and that she was with him and my Dad at the same time and had weird cycles back then so isn't sure. She doesnt' want me to do a DNA test as she thinks it will upset a lot of people and I don't want to hurt anyone, But I think I want to know.
My mind is more at rest now knowing that he could be my Dad than it was before... at least I know the situation

Omg Jade was an awful situation I cant offer any advise and i dont know what to say, just sending u a big hug xxx

I totally get why you want to find out one way or the other. I would too.

I hope you manage to get to the bottom of it and find out xx

Terri it was such a shock but now that my mums told me the truth If eel much better about it. It was not knowing if he COULD be my Dad that was diong my head in. now I know he might be I'm not so bothered. Thats a whole other issue I think.

We even joked about us going on Jeremy Kyle now pahah.

Thinking of you xxx

You are being so strong, if I was in your position I would probably be rocking in the corner by now xx

Hope you fins out the truth about your dad x

Oh wow what a situation to be in, I'm so pleased that your mum has finally told you the truth, it must of been so frustrating for you.

I also think you're being very brave about it all, I hate to think how I would react in your position.

Thinking of you hun xxx

thanks everyone... I was really freaked out over the weekend but at the moment Im ok I guess that's cos I don't know if he is or isn't... that's a whole other "stage" though isn't it

I'm in denial I guess I'm sure I'll freak out if I get a DNA test done. I don't know whether i'l even tell anyone I've had it done... apparently this guy hates my Dad though so I'm sure he will tell him the results and that makes me not want to get it done.

My mum text my Dad last night and he said he doesn't want me to find out either as it will be too upsetting