Its Archies 5th birthday on Thurs and i was just going to write his birthday card but i just dont know what to put!!

Its his first birthday withoout his dad and i know it will impact on him

Do i write the card from mum and dad? If i do this i know he will pick up on it straight away as he is very clued up and it might give him false hope plus rake it all back up for him (the last thing i want).

Or do i just write from mum, but then if i do this he may be crushed not to get a card from his dad!!

He is just that bit too young to understand! What do i do!!

Eeekkkkk, erm oh Donna i just dont know!!!

sorry fat lot of help i am!

its a hard one but to be honest i think i would just write from mum you really dont want to give him false hope and if his dad is never going to be in his life again then is it not best to get it out of the way sooner rather than have the same dilemma next year? could u explain dad is away and where he is he cant send a card?
if you wanted u cud buy a cheap card and put from dad jst so he thinks he has had a card from dad and he has acknowledged his bday! but again im not sure what impact this would have on him
sorry im not much help x

I really don't know sorry Mara.

Is it likely that his dad will be able to send him a card from prison - do they have access to things like that? Sorry I feel really thick saying this last comment. What I mean by this is that if you just put your name and then he gets one off his dad too, it may lessen the confusion, if you know what I mean.

Sorry if my response has been of no help but I didn't want to read and run.

xx

I would just do it from you, you don't want to confuse him, do you think his Dad will send him a card?

He would have access to that but i know he wont send him one. He has already told a family member that he wants Archie told he has been killed in a car crash!!

wtf?!?! killed in car crash?!?
I dont know either.... I think I would just put it from you, I think yikes so hard to do the 'right thing'

big 's lovely I really dont know xxx

mara wrote:

He would have access to that but i know he wont send him one. He has already told a family member that he wants Archie told he has been killed in a car crash!!

Thats disgusting hun, could that be because he would rather think he is dead than grow up knowing the truth and grow to hate and dispise him. i would do what Michelle suggested send one from him but just a cheap one then that way he will know/ think his dad still cares.

i think you are being incredably strong even thinking about this as i would of just written lots of love mummy xx

I would put just from you, his dad will definatly have access to a card at the prison.
I don't know if I hope he sends one or not, how would you feel if he did send Archie a card?

mmm its very tough.. I think I would just put lots of love from mummy and not send a card from "dad" if you do... you will end up doing it every year... or one year you will have to stop.. might as well get it out of the way now so to speak. But I know that you will do the right thing just follow your instincts

I have to agree with the other ladies, I think you should just put that its from you.

The last thing you want to do is give him false hope, as that could really confuse him.

x

Aaah hun what a horrible thing to go through. Yes I would just put from you as it would probably make him ask all sorts of questions. I'm guessing you have already had questions from the children which must have been so hard to deal with. Humungous hugs to you hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'd just say it was from you x

id just put it from you hun

i cant believe he has said that

its probibly going to be a hard day for you all xxxxxx

hun i'd put it just from you,

as for anything else, with work we always tell the kids th truth, although of course age related and perhaps not all the details till they alot older, but the truth is easier in someways than trying to keep a lie going.

hope you have a nice day and archie has a lovely birthday

sending hugs xx

I agree with the others, just put it from you. So sorry you're having to deal with this xxxx

I would do it just from you aswell hun x
What a horrible thing for him to say.
Hope u manage to have a good day tho xx

Hey hun..the card should defo be from you and not him. That is Ben's job ..and his alone if he wants to maintain a relationship with the kids. If he has access to do so..and you ok it..then the ball in is in his court. xxx

deffo just you hun, it might hurt archies feelings not getting a card from his dad if he doesn't but if you put your names together he may get the wrong idea and it will be evem harder to explain
xx