Has anyone had a child really really struggle to settle in at nursery? Stephen had an attempt at nursery before but did not settle at all. He used to scream when I left him and then didn't stop crying till I picked him up. He got worse and worse and he wasn't eating or sleeping properly at home and was really upset all the time. We stopped him going because he was only supposed to be there temporarily until a place at a better nursery came up so we didn't think it was worth persevering when he'd have to settle in again somewhere else. My mum has been looking after him for me but he is due to start his new nursery in a couple of weeks. We went for a visit this morning and before we had got in there he was hysterical, he was terrified of me leaving him So I'm worried we are going to go through weeks of this again! My mum has said she will have him for me but I think it would do him good to go to nursery. Has anyone else been through this? Did it get better? Is it worth persevering?

I haven't been through (Jamie rarely cares when we leave him at nursery) but I'd keep trying. It could well be something about the old nursery that upset him and once he realises its not like that he'll be fine. There is also the fact that at some point his going to have to go to school

I haven't had a child that has gone through this, but can think of it from the point of being a nursery nurse so to speak. I have never known a child who hasn't settled eventually, some children do take longer than others though.

Does he understand if you try to explain things to him? I was thinking along the lines of being able to tell him that you wont be long etc :-/

Immi had to go to a creche when i did a course in Jan and she screamed the whole time, never once settled in 10wks She started preschool last month and screamed so much the first day and didn't settle at all that day, next week we tried again and she settled within 20mins. Two days after that she cried for 5mins max apparently, now she barely waves goodbye at me and asked us if she could go on Sunday. So i think it is worth perservering, it's really done Immi the world of good, her speech has come on as well as potty training (barely ever an accident now), she's also gained so much confidence. She's always been a terror at home but shy with anyone else but she's becoming much more outgoing.

I think perseverance is the key! Can you arrange with the nursery that you stay and play for a couple of sessions so he knows the 'teachers' are friends and you trust them so he can - does that make sense?

Hope he settles for you. Eventually he will settle, but by school age he needs to be ready too :0(

I've tried sitting and explaining it to him but he was having none of that! We've got a few sessions of me staying and playing with him next week and his dad is going to take him too to see if that makes a difference, I think it will do him good so we'll just have to see how it goes! x