Hi ladies, I'm sat here in absolute floods of tears as I'm in such a strange mood tonight after what the MW said earlier.

I have never admitted this to anyone, but I really am finding it so so hard to enjoy being pregnant, I am absolutely terrified even now at practically 21 weeks of anything going wrong and I just want April to hurry up so that I can have my little girl safely in my arms.

I have no one other than my OH to share my pregnancy with, the ups and the downs and my Mum walked out on my Dad when I was 3 so I have never had that mother figure around for me....but oh god do I wish I could have a mum there for me now.

The closest thing I've got to mum is my older sister but she's 220 miles away.

I don't even know if any of this makes sense but I just don't know how to make my OH understand how I'm feeling.

Aw hun, its completely understandable you feeling this way - it took so long for you to get here.

Dont really know what to suggest but to just talk to him, tell him you're very anxious, as for enjoying the pregnancy - you will when you get to that point that you know everything will be OK then you'll enjoy it more (and then you'll be fed up because of the huge bump )

Dont forget we are always here if you've got any worries etc.

xxx

Aww hun. I think it is perfectly understandable that you are worried even at 21 weeks. You have had a harder journey than most to get where you are hun. I wish I was closer hun so I could give you a hug. It must be so hard for you hun not having your mum around especially at this major time in your life. Are you close to oh's mum hun?

You know that you always have us hun. I think you should sit Matt down and just tell him how you are feeling i am sure he would understand. Is there any chance of you spending a bit of time at your sisters? I can't believe how insensitive your midwife was. I have heard alot of bad midwife stories recently, surely they understand that expectant mums are anxious.

Thanks ladies, no I'm not close to OH's mum in fact I hate her even more now I'm a hormonal wreck! I wish I could spend time at my sisters but I have used all my holiday now so no more breaks fir me until maternity leave. XX

Huge hugs hunni xxxxx

Matt just came upstairs and said everything is going to be fine so I've told him until he understands to pi$$ off and leave me alone!!

I really hope you feel better soon hun xxxxxxx

x

Aww hun sending you massive hugs . Try and stay positive hun I know its easier said than done but you are over half way they and once xmas is over the time will fly by

aww hun your mw is a cow bag, i used one on gracie loads and believe me there is nothing wrong with her hearing she can hear the sweet cupboard being opened 3 rooms away.

Sending you hugs hun and we are all here when ever you need us xxxx

xx

he wont ever understand hun,

they just dont get it, its probably just the way they are tuned but adam used to just tell me i worried too much and barred me from having a doppler

your MW is a shit!!! they really know how to reassure you dont they! i havent ever heard that before so please try not to worry hun

awww in a few days you will feel better - i know its horrible and cliched but it is almost certainly hormones that are making you feel awful; it will come and go though.

i would say that pregnancy/being a new mum was the loneliest thing i ever lived through - i had my husband and luckily for me my mum around, but i have never felt so much that i was 100% alone and responsible - it was a horrible feeling at times but it will serve to make you stronger

Thanks ladies, I really dont know what I would do without you all.

Realistically I know like you say Jo that he really will never understand, he said sorry to me and now he's playing on the f'ing Xbox.....stupid me bought im COD Black Ops for his birthday, he completed it once and now he's playing it again FFS!

Mari - Most definately hormones, I feel loads better now ive had an hour in the bath on my own hehe!

And [CENSORED] the MW I will be using the doppler tonight!!

its crap really shev, its like it no big deal to them (outwardly at least)
its infuriating!

Awww hun i know how you feel, its really hard when you have no family when your pregnant. Your OH will never truly understand unless he went through it himself.

And your midwife is a tosser btw
Massive hugs

Awhun big hugs!! Just going to say what everyone else saying, it's totally understandable! Think we all think like that & I can't imagen what it's like for you who's tried for so long.

Big big hugs hope he comes around. Men can be hopless in these sensitive situations! Rob finds it funny today dropping little jokes about what the Mw said, I'm not feeding Hollie. 'have you fed the kids?'
Hollies been crying all day today and he said ' well have you tried feeding her?' he finds it funny but I'm so hurt he doesn't see. & like your got his head in comp games to listen to me.
We'l bang their heads together
Chin up chick April will come soon & then you'l be wishing you were still preg hehe xx

Men arent wired that way hon they dont understand, he will think by telling you its all going to be fine he is being reassuring and manly and thinks thats what you need. Hes possibly every bit as nervous as you are.

Its understandable you are scared as it took you a long time to get here. TBH not everyone enjoys pregnancy, im the first to admit i hated being pg with C and im not much keener on it this time round, thats not to say i dont think my chickys the centre of my world or that awen will be the same, i just dont like what pg does to me and my body. Off at a tangent there but basically not enjoying preg doesnt make you a bad person, pretty normal really so again dont feel bad about it or feelin you have to play the radiant glowing prego every day, if you are having a shit day then feel free to admit to it.

And ive told you on the other thread what i thought of your mw but she was out of order and theres not a shred of research into dopplers and deafness and i went looking in depth for you yesterday! So whilst id say try not to obsess on the doppler also enjoy using it if you want to

If you wanna girl chat anytime im nearby hon so pm me and i will send you my moby num ok xxx

Oh hun everyone else has pretty much covered it all x He thinks hes helping and being reassuring but our hormones are all over the place when pregnant x
I had m/c before i fell and i was worried untill the day he came everytime i had a scan i still corssed my fingers and couldnt sleep before it so i understand how u feel xx

Were all here for you if you need to talk xxxx

aw hun. men are crap. my oh does that too "its ok everything will be fine" sometimes you just need someone to say yes Im worried about that too and talk to you about it for hours. only THEN do you feel a bit better eh?

I was wondering (I hope this doesnt sound cheeky) if you were feeling like this. your always so positive and happy and I was wondering if you had any worries or were even feeling a bit "pregnancy related" rubbish.
Its amazing that your pregnant after your long journey but dont feel bad about having a moan about anything. your only human.

your little girl will be in your arms before you know it and with that brings a whole new load of worries. its all good though its healthy to be worried.

as for your midwife what a total cow. thats all I have to say about her.

you totally deserve this your a lovely person and you have your happy ending hun. xxxxx

Aww thanks so much ladies, you are all stars. I have spoken to the Dr at the private clinic this morning and she is just as fuming as I am about the whole situation, she said that she has never come across anything that states that and basically not in so many words thinks the MW is a stupid cow for saying such a thing.

She said the HB dip could be just down to her pulling on her cord. xx

Ah good, really hope thats put your mind at rest hun.

Glad she agreed that your MW is a silly moo though!

xxxx