I can 100% empathise with you right now!!!
Grr MILs
I had a huge row with MIL when Caitlin was just slightly younger than Jamie - it too seemed petty at the time but it was a build up of her doi9ng things with Caitlin 'her' way and disregarding what me or stuart said. She was obsessed with the idea of bottle feeding Caitlin and urged me to express and leave Caitlin from she was about 1 week old. I honestly think she had (still has!) mental health problems with regards seeing others perspectives/being selfish. She acted like Caitlin was hers and was wanting us to visit 4 or 5 days a week for hrs at a time and then still said we didnt let her see her grandchild enough!
Anyway what happened was the day of the row I got it off my chest how pissed off I was, tired I had been and how selfish she was etc ... and then I didnt see her for 2 weeks. I just decided I wasnt visiting again until she was prepared to have an adult discussion with me about the way she had been behaving and how this was impacting on everyone. I invited her over every other day via Stuart and she refused, begging him to just take Caitlin form me and bring her over himself. She then begged him to get me to come over and pretend nothing had happened.
Eventually when she realised I wasnt giving in she did come o9ver and talk - but tbh looking back it didnt really achieve much. She cried about how hard her life was with stuart, how pushed out she felt, how id been brainwashed in hospital and wouldnt take her advice on anything, was rude (but wouldnt give an example when asked), and that the last 2 weeks I had caused her stress which could cause her Cancer to return! GRRRRR!!!
In the end after that I did go back over to MILs but it was agreed that it would be for an hr on a sunday and she could have Caitlin for 1 morning a week for 1-2hrs on her own (basically so as I didnt have to be in same room as her!) . I know MIL didnt think this was enough but couldnt argue as I think she had realised I was capable of standing up for myself.
In saying all that if you have read my most recent posts its evident MILs personality still hasnt changed. She will always be controlling and interfering, I dont think we will ever get on.... but will prob rub along for stuart and Caitlins sake. The relationship has felt quite fake recently and I know thats just going to get worse.
What I will say kind of in both our MILS defence is I admit that some of the things I got so angry about prob werent as harmful to Caitlin as I thought they were at the time, and maybe I should have been more relaxed/realised she was an old fart and I could just smile and bear it. Good on you for sticking up for yourself, maybe its what MIL needed to hear.
Id say give her some space, then a chance to say her piece and then set down rules and try and maintain some contact with Jamie - be it just your OH takes him round for 1 hr a week and gives you a break. She will lose interest as he gets older, MIL now rings us looking Caitlin taken home after 3 hrs - she is def a baby person and not a toddler person which I think proves that along she has been more focused on her needs being met than Caitlins.
Did I not read before in AB that your MIL was seen by a dr due to the BF incident? Did that not shock her into sorting her attitude out? Sorry to have ranted on so much! MIL is on my mind today and you have provided me with a chance to rant!!!!
Hope you ok, you did the right thing and she sounds like she needs help!!!