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Shell
Age : 34 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Flitwick Posts : 3732
About Me! My Name: Michelle Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:01 am | |
| What do you think the perfect age is to have a child? Did you always have an age in mind to start baby making? or an age of when to stop (i noticed a few said they want to have all their kids by 30)
I don't think there is a 'perfect' age. It's diff for each person.
I knew I wanted kids fairly young but I didn't intend to be as young as 18 when I fell pregnant with Imogen. I was told I probably couldn't have kids, and that I should try then see a dr after a year or so to get help getting pregnant. So after our wedding we thought might as well start trying and we'd be about 21ish when it would finally happen. Life doesn't work that way though and we fell pregnant the first month. I wouldn't change it for the world though! I don't really have an age of when I want all my baby making finished. Matt says this is it but I'm open for more in the future so I guess 35ish, but it all depends how my life turns out. 35 is 14yrs away anything could happen! |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:10 am | |
| I always said 22 but never actually expected it...but it happened and i think its the perfect age. I was far too wild and partied hard in my teens so glad i did all that first otherwise i think id envy my friends. |
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pixel
Join date : 2010-09-07 Posts : 2006
About Me! My Name: Status: Mummy Number of Children: 0
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:13 am | |
| when I was 18 I wanted to be married and have my first kid by 23. at 23 I wasn't ready for children I'm not really fussed, I wanted to have at least one by 30 and I've done that. probably wouldn't have any past 35/36 but who knows..... I might just stick with one |
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snoopy21
Join date : 2010-08-20 Posts : 5101
About Me! My Name: Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:18 am | |
| I sort of think that 24-30 is the right age. Im only saying this because it gives you time to go to uni aged 18-21, start a career for a cpl of years and enjoy 6 years of partys/holidays/enjoying being you. Also I often think about grandchildren and if my children follow the trend and have children in their late twenties then I will be in my 50's when they are small and have the energy to look after them/ take them overnight. Medically I think in your twenties your body is most capable and in general have fewer complications and less stress about fertility. (I am very concious of fertility declining at 30/35 and I think this impacted on me being wanting to ttc at 24.)
BUT I have to say, I went to uni aged 19-22 and then had Caitlin before I even started my career so in some ways my theory is bollocks lol. I may as well have had her at 22. Or even 18 and then done uni at 21 like some of my friends did (and they got better marks than me as they were motivated/settled!), they seem to be able to have some sort of a social life anyway. Or waited til 28 and actually been wrking a cpl of years....
I think everyones circumstances are different, and people have different priorities. In ways I regret not having a good income and pension plan set up, but then I remind myself that I think id regret it more if I was 32 and in a fab job but having problems ttc. I dont mean to upset anyone by saying that its just my personal fears. x |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:21 am | |
| My first at 23 wasn't planned! I never wanted to start having kids this young because I was still having too much fun. But once over the shock I was soo happy. The second I had at 29, it years to concieve and resulted in me fertility treatment, I actually thought 29 was bit old lol.
In my mid thirties I tuned doolally and desparatly wanted to squeeze another one in but I vowed if I wasn't pregnant by 40 I'd give up as for me 40 was my top limited!!! So we stopped trying..... Then at 41 got a total shock to find myself pregnant. It wasn't ideal and i did worry about Downs etc. I'd have coped with Downs baby when I was younger but my worry at 41 was that I could die when the child was in his/her 30s or 40s and the care of that person would be put on my other two kids which I could not have done. Thankfully we were able to have nucal fold scans etc to say that bubs was healthy.
All my pregnancies have been fine and I honestly don't feel any different now than when I was 23 having Charlotte (apart from I'm now financially secure and much more chilled).
I know some girls who have made fab mums at 14 and some like me who've not done so bad being 40+ xxx |
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LesleyandBethany
Age : 47 Join date : 2010-08-22 Location : Cheshire Posts : 1527
About Me! My Name: Lesley Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:24 am | |
| I always thought that I would have a child when I was about 27 but in reality I fell pregnant at 30 and had Bethany when I was 31 xx |
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kab
Join date : 2010-08-19 Posts : 3642
About Me! My Name: Status: Number of Children:
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:31 am | |
| I always always said I had to be older the. 17 it seemed to be a trend in my family thT you had your first child at 17. We had problems falling of with Rowan but when I did I was 22 and 23 when I had him. A month after the baby is due I'll be 26 and for ms they've happened at the right time and age for me. I've been working Nd had a good job for 9 years and in a stable (sometimes loving ) JOKE lol relationship for almost 10 years. |
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Mario
Join date : 2010-08-16 Posts : 6252
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:39 am | |
| I always said i wanted my 1st by 30 and had her at 29 and 2nd at 31. Seems just about right for me |
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liberty
Age : 42 Join date : 2011-03-25 Location : Britain Posts : 2753
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 7:57 am | |
| I used to want kids young, I think partly because my mum is young (50 this year) and we get on. When we got married (i was 22 and oh 21) we said two years but when it got to that point we didn't want them at all. I think when we had Jamie was just right for us. We had almost 6 years of marriage where we were able to build up our savings and go abroad a couple of times a year so we don't mind giving that up now |
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pinkyd
Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : durham Posts : 3931
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 8:02 am | |
| 35 for me, I never thought i wanted kids, we'd been together 18 years before we started trying so it was a big big change but have to say she's the best thing that has ever happened to us. I don't think age comes into it, its more you as a person and when you feel ready, it was the perfect time for me. |
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Nutty1
Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Hertfordshire Posts : 706
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 8:08 am | |
| Well I had Jack at 20 and have been trying for number 2 now (new partner) for 4 years so far. Im now 31 if I was really unfortunate to have to keep trying for longer then I would say 39 will be my limit. God I hope it doesnt come to that. |
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gemz
Age : 104 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : doncaster Posts : 3520
About Me! My Name: gemma Status: Daddy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 8:17 am | |
| i always knew i wanted kids young, i panicked about when id fit them in as id have to leave school ,go collage ,uni ect and worried cos i wanted them by 21(bearing in mind i was only 14 thinking this, no perfect planning i know) then when i reached 16, had been with ex for 2 years i realised it would be best to wait, get a good job first ect...but didnt quite work out that way and i fell pg at 16...but having kids young has made me more determined to do well in life and get the career i want, yes it may take longer, but i will get there in the end...i did a lot of courses ect when i was pg and when leo was bor, carried on my education till i got my job,all i wanted was to be oin the nhs as i thought that would be the first stepping stone and im now ready to move to the next...hmm ok sorry kind of my life story there, anyhow what im trying to say is, although not a perfect age in many peoples eyes, for me it was as its given me more motivation! and i dont feel like iv missed out at all tbh x |
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CarlaAndCallum
Age : 37 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Essex Posts : 4673
About Me! My Name: Carla Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 8:57 am | |
| I think its whenever you feel ready theyres not any good age. Im happy i was 21 as i had a few years of doing the clubbing n drinking all the time got that out my system x |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 9:43 am | |
| I didn't know I wanted children until I was 31. I got pg 2 months before my 32nd birthday.
I wasn't emotionally stable enough to give a child the life I am giving Wil until I had sorted myself out. I am glad I waited until I did, it was right for me and Wil. |
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LisaAdmin
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-15 Location : Shropshire Posts : 8964
About Me! My Name: Lisa Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 10:24 am | |
| Dan and I always said 30 then as we got to mid twenties and 30 was getting closer we pushed it back as didnt feel ready!
As it happens Izzy had other ideas and decided to make herself at home in there when I was 28...and really it was perfect timing as I found out I was PG (albeit already 4 months) just after we had moved to a big house! |
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LisaGandAmelia
Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Cheshire Posts : 3186
About Me! My Name: Lisa Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 11:18 am | |
| I'd always thought I'd want to have my 1st at 27. However when I turned 27 I thought I was too young and thought about 30. However Amelia had other thoughts and I fell pg at 27 and had her at 28. Wouldn't change her for the world! x |
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Jade
Age : 40 Join date : 2010-09-07 Location : Cyprus Posts : 3594
About Me! My Name: Jade Status: Pregnant Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 5:54 pm | |
| I always wanted to be 21 ish to have my first, as that is when my mum had me and we have a very good relationship... however at 21 I didn't want kids with the guy I was with (and thank GOD I didn't) I met my current OH at 23 and we knew straight away we wanted kids but we also knew a move to Cyprus was likely so waited till we got here. My goal changed and I said I HAD to be married and ahve kids before I was 25... well I found out I was pg 5 days befre my 25th bday and OH asked me to marry him on my 25th bday so sort of worked out Im 27 now so maybe when I'm 30 might think about trying for a 3rd if we can afford it but I will need to concentrate on my job for a bit after these 2 |
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Clare
Join date : 2010-09-13 Location : UK Posts : 3503
About Me! My Name: Clare Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 6:30 pm | |
| My goal was to be a mom but also knew I enter a career. I went abroad to work when 20-22, fell pg with rich. Had him at 23 and as I was single I used the gov to pay for me to get through uni. I always wanted a big family, but took a while to find russ. We planned on kids straight away, we met when we were 30, married 32. We ttc for 2.5years, which after getting pg so quickly first time was hard. but now at 35 we about to have bubs. We both want to try again ASAP. But 36 is my cut off, purely because of age gap of kids. But being a mom at 23 was hard but I was single, lost my mom, and rich as issues, so not easy child. But I also know that it will never be as worse than those years again, so another 1 after bubs would be good |
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ZooeyWhite
Join date : 2011-05-13 Location : Canada Posts : 6
| Subject: Re: Age and children Fri May 13, 2011 8:24 pm | |
| I always thought before that around 23-25 would be the perfect age to get married and have one, but when I was 18 (almost 19), my partner and I were like so eager to have a baby though we were not yet married and I was still in college. Idk but there was something that time that made us so excited and always thinking about babies, not really minding the serious BIG responsibility. Unexpectedly, I got pregnant by 19(turning 20), so I dropped out of school. But I'm always happy and proud and never regretted it. |
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xemplus2x
Age : 39 Join date : 2010-08-31 Location : wales Posts : 1731
About Me! My Name: Emma Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Age and children Sat May 14, 2011 5:26 am | |
| I always wanted to be a youngish mum, in my head I always thought I would be about 25/26 then be done with kids by 32.... BUT fell preg with lillie at 22 and havnt looked back since!! some days I forget how young I was when I did fall preg. now I have 2 kids by 25, but wouldnt change it for the world. some days when I think god im 25 nearly 26 and live the live of a 40 year old. but then I just think once they grown up a bit I will have it back, and prob enjoy it more. xx |
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Pickle and Pup's mummy
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-28 Location : Carshalton, Surrey Posts : 815
About Me! My Name: Mandy Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: Age and children Sat May 14, 2011 8:39 am | |
| I thought about 21 when i was young, then when i met dave at 19, I said 25. But then we got to 25 and i was enarly ready but Dave wasn't so I waited till he was and fell pregnant at 28 giving birth 3 and a half months before i was 30!
All good to me and I think that looking back, it was the right time as we were settled and in a secure relationship and I think at any younger, I just would not have been emotionally ready to handle it, I was quite a 'young' teenagaer at eighteen and still quite childish until about 27.
I dont think there is a right or wrong exactly but I think things happen at the time they do for a reason, because the time you are, is the time you become ready.
Mandy xx |
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~ Katie ~
Age : 36 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Manchester Posts : 1124
About Me! My Name: Katie Status: Mummy Number of Children: 3
| Subject: Re: Age and children Sat May 14, 2011 5:46 pm | |
| i always knew i wanted kids young, but i didnt expect to have 3 at 21 i met john when i was 17, fell pregnant very unexpectedly 8 months after meeting him. Although i dont know why it was such a shock as we at every opportunity between me working. i found out i was pregnant after getting rushed to hospital with severe stomach pain. i remember the nhs direct doctor saying she suspected ectopic pregnancy before we even knew i was pregnant. anyway got to the hospital and they did a test and a scan and all was very well and he was born when i was 18 and 5 months number 2 came along unexpectedly too , concieved on my mums settee and i had her the day after my 20th birthday (i had the most painful birthday of my life, stuck in a hospital, on my own, in labour back to back for 36 hours. but it was the best birthday of my life) number 3 popped out 8 weeks before my 22nd birthday and has made my family complete. i never imagined id have all my babies by the age of 21 but im so glad i have and i wouldnt change a single thing now my eldest 2 are at school i can start my career, and i cannot bloody wait |
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Suse
Age : 43 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : England Posts : 3128
About Me! My Name: Suse Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: Age and children Sat May 14, 2011 6:20 pm | |
| Well like I said on Snoops post, I never actually wanted children until Simon just happen to mention it one day, I was 24 he was 29, we'd been married for 3 years and had our own home and he thought it was the next step. At first I said no way! but then I kind of came round to the idea and we decided to start trying, unfortunately it took 2 years so I was 26 when I conceived and 27 when she was born. With me saying I never wanted any children I hadnt really thought about ages etc. but in saying that I think we did it at the right time for us. x |
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