This subject really annoys me...or more so the way people think its ok to 'joke' about one but not the other.

I just saw a FB 'like' 'Curvy girls do it better...only a dog wants a bone!'

So a similar thing is people saying to me 'oh gosh aren't you skinny' 'oh have you lost weight?'

WHY do people think its acceptable?! ITS FRIKIN NOT! usually they are people who are over weight anyway ...so how would they feel if the first thing I said to them was 'oh you are looking rather fat ... put on a couple of stone have you...OMG look at the size of your arse?!'
Seriously people just wouldn't do it!

Can you imagine if slim people said that to over weight people?!

I would NEVER dream of saying on my FB that 'fat girls don't know how to close their mouths or their legs' or something equally derogatory towards fat people!

Rant over!

having been in both positions neither is better than the other. Its more acceptable in society to be thin and the images we see of women on tv and in magazines are of super thin women, so fat people automatically assume that thin women are happy with their weight and therefore don't mind it being commented on.
They dont realise that its just as distressing when you can't put on weight but want to. So I dont think the comments are meant with malice, but do think that people should consider the impact of their words first xx

well i'm fat, or rather big, and get it from the other side and i think taking the P out of someone for whatever their shape or figure can be as soul destroying

society likes to find something thats different about you and laugh at it. hair colour, freckles, big nose little nose, race, religion. etc

its all nasty, but people do it to make them feel better. but not sure you actually do...

althoguh russ was impressed i didnt deck the checkout lady in morrisons on sunday when she asked when i was due because i was HUGE and said this a bit too loud in a closing shop so everyone looked.

dont blame you for ranting,

Its awful isn't it Clare, some people just do not think before they say something that is so personal!

To be honest I did see that like & nearly clicked I liked it. I didnt really stop to think about how self concious skinny people would feel about it. I think its more fat/chubby people (like me ), trying to make themselves feel better but going the wrong way about it. Maybe you only notice one's that offend you but I see plenty of FB likes that are nasty about fat girls, some are horrible and others do make me smile a bit as they are intended to be a joke - im not saying the bone one you mentioned was.

Maybe people who ask about your weight dont realise you dont like it. Tbh before listening to you I found it hard to understand how people could be skinny with out meaning to be.

I was bullied for being fat in primary and weight is still a touchy subject to me when im feeling low. I get jealous of pics of others in nice clothes and hate seeing photo's of me beside slim friends etc. I guess humour is a way I deal with it - I make jokes about how fat I am to my friends/stuart etc. Maybe thats why I can understand the fb jokes a bit....

I agree with mandy about societys views too. FAT is used as an insult and skinny a compliment usually. I think when someone calls someone fat 99% of the time its meant to hurt or be insulting, whereas id say 80% when people use the term skinny/weightloss etc they mean it as a compliment. It still doesnt make it less hurtful to you.

Dya know what i completely agree i've never really thought about it because i'm a fat cow but its true! What pisses me off is when you're dieting and people say "oh don't lose too much you'll look lanky/gaunt/boney err how bout you *$%£ off

my mini rant over pheww

true,

i know i've done it myself when younger, and i would hate to think i've hurt someone with a comment about their appearence, but we all judge and first impressions are part of the judgement, its looking past that to get to the real person that counts..

Of course I don't know what its like to be called fat, but I'd never call someone that cos I know how much I hate people sating stuff to me

I suppose I just don't get why its a joke to say ' you skinny cow' ...and not funny to 'you fat cow'

Society is wrong!

oooh well I've learnt something here as I honestly assumed that skinny people must be happy. I'm neither fat or skinny, but I seem to have spent the last 13 years trying to be skinny (yep stick thin). Sometimes I get to be skinny but my weight usually creeps back up, my fattest is size 12 and boy I'm so down when I get to this to size. I think my mum always taught us that you can never be too rich or too skinny and I've kinda lived by that (never quite succeeded on the rich front). I will never call anyone skinny after reading this - sorry to nation's skinny people!!!!

I know exactly what you mean Lisa. I never used to think about it until I spoke to my friend who is really petite, size 6 and probably 4 ft 10. She got really upset when colleagues kept calling her little/skinny, etc. and it wasnt until then that I realised how inappropriate it really was. You are 100% right though, its really not on. Maybe you should say 'oooh you have piled on a few pounds' next time somebody says about you being skinny x

Ive been tempted on many occasions!! I just can't bring myself to hurt someones feelings on purpose like that

just do it! it might make people realise how inappropriate it is!

I hate commenting on people's weight, even in a nice way. I wanted to tell Debs how blooming fantastic she was looking, but didn't want to offend her thinking I thought she was a munter before

and then there's your family..... they always tell you the truth

I think what snoops says is accurtae most people assume if you are 'skinny' that = happy. Its only people who know how much you struggle to gain weight realise how much it hurts you. Its good to see things like this because it makes you realise struggling with weight isnt a one way street

totally agree Lisa, im 6'1" and "skinny", would love to put a little weight onand have a healthy BMI but really struggle, i understand how people who diet etc sometimes envy those who can eat loads and never put on a pound, but its no fun when you need to gain weight and cant x

I always assumed skinny comments were borne of envy, because of the stereotypes and so-called ideals we all see everywhere we look. I must admit I can be guilty of that but try say the compliment I mean "nice and slim" rather than "skinny".

But on the other hand I always feel unable to discuss weight with anyone much bigger than me through fear of insulting. Sometimes I look at myself and am utterly disgusted - I feel I have let myself down, I have been lazy, lacking self control and grotesque. I don't think these things of other ladies, only myself, but I keep my mouth shut just in case.

Sorry about my ramblings, hope they make some sort of sense!

i have been fat, and thin and people are so rude and insulting to both...there is just no common decency these days


(btw, i hope im not offensive when i comment on how diddy you are!?! it's pure jealousy on my part! lol)

my cousine is 'skinny' and struggles to put weight on, at school she got bullied for it people saying she must be anorexic and doesnt eat, when actually she eats loads, she even got the nickname skin (as in skinny) peopel just assume if your thin your happy but when you sdtruggle to put on weight its l=the equvelent of struggling to lose it if your bigger x

pixel wrote:

I hate commenting on people's weight, even in a nice way. I wanted to tell Debs how blooming fantastic she was looking, but didn't want to offend her thinking I thought she was a munter before

Lmao Linz - bless ya! I wouldn't have been offended coz I was a munter before

I think it's all just dependant on the way it is said. You can tell if someone is giving you a compliment or being derogatory or snide. If someone told me I was looking thinner/slimmer that would be a huge compliment and ego boost for me as I am on this blummin diet and trying really hard (apart from last weekend ). It also never bothered me when people said I was getting big in pregnancy - it's the only time in your life when it is acceptable (and inevitable) to put on weight so I embraced it and enjoyed it. I was proud to be 'massive' and yes I'm paying for it now but it was worth it

xx

I've always thought skinny and thin were kind of harsh words describing people who are SLIM lol, just like I think the word fat is very hurtful. I am overweight and I am doing my best now to lose that weight, and I feel for you Lisa as you are wanting to gain weight; its still an issue with weight! It still gets you down whichever end of the scale you're on..

Lisa you're beautiful xx

kenty wrote:

i have been fat, and thin and people are so rude and insulting to both...there is just no common decency these days


(btw, i hope im not offensive when i comment on how diddy you are!?! it's pure jealousy on my part! lol)

Not at all x

I use to really skinny at school and i use to get comments like chicken legs and that i havent got an arse it use to hurt im not quite big with big hips.
I dont get the fat v thin either x

Ooo no I am guilty of this, but honestly didnt realise that it would offend 'skinny' people I always say to someone whos looking thin that they look good etc, whats their secret. Im not sure if I even said it to you Lisa on Sat, im sorry if I did.
I will def think twice before I think about what I say, as I obv dont mean it horrible and just want to pay someone a compliment, but can 100% see how offensive it can be.
It really is society nowadays that makes people so concious about weight and everything, its all so confusing sometimes.
xx

Its funny you say this Lisa as me, Mandy and Em were talking about it on Saturday. I have said in the past I would love to be able to eat what I want and not put on weight but obviously in your eyes this is not a good thing. I guess I am a bit like Snoopy too! I am so unhappy at my size at the moment, I weigh about 3 stone heavier than I did when I got married 12 years ago! It is my own fault though and I am the only one who can change that. My friend is dragging me kicking and screaming tonight to a boot camp areobics class!!!!!!!!! so I am making a start on an exercise programme. She is encouraging me to exercise 3 times a week which I know is what I need to do.

But back to the orginal point, I will certainly be more mindful about comments about Skinny in future. I think I have also in the past thought of skinny as a compliment. Also I think you look lovely Lisa xxxxxxx

its a funny one, when people say skinny they think its a compliment and don't think it's offensive at all , I'm not in to all that curvy girls do it better because I'd prefer to be thin any day and so would the majority of us 'curvy' girls.