Just interested in knowing how many of you allow them in to your bed at night if they wake up?

A few weeks back, Cerys was poorly and was unsettled at night so I i let her in my bed for cuddles. Mmmmmm now it seems to have become a habit because she wakes each night around 1-2 am and wants to come in with me. Up until a few weeks back she would sleep all night in her cot and never wake, or if she woke, she would settle herself back to sleep.

Do you think I've done a boo boo by continuing to let her in bed with me? Have I started a bad habit or do you think its ok? xx

I don't in general and it is very rare she does, although for no reason she came and got in the other night at about 5am...wriggled about and poked at me then said night night and went back to her bed!

The last 3 nights though we have put her to bed in her bed, and when we go up to bed later she is fast asleep in our bed! So just put her back and she stays there

I think if you keep taking her back she will soon get the idea and then not bother

Arh hun, its annoying isnt it the slightest upset in there routine messes there body clock. Noah wakes about 6 30 if I am not working he will get bac in with me till 8. But thats it. I know soon as his in with me for one night I have about 2 nights of hassle putting him in his own cot At bedtime so I dont do it X

awwww bless her just walking into your bed xx

mmmm part of me is guilty for allowing it to continue but I sooooo love having her next to me. i really dont want to undo all the hard work ive done at helping her be a good sleeper sincr she was born xx

H has prob slept with us about 3/4 times when he's been I'll but he findsit hard to sleep with us. Lewis has slept alot more in our bed as he didn't like going to sleep in his cot for a while. I think she knows now that if she wakes she can come in with you. I would try and stop it now or I think you could have real problems when you decide not to have her anymore. It mite take a few night but be firm and she will soon understand she has to stay in her own bed xx

thanks Amanda, yeh I agree. its not fair on her or me. Im just gonna have to be brave and try and stop it now. we are off to Somerset for the weekend so I think I will tackle it when we get back as her routine will be slightly messed up after being down there xx

we only let harry in with us in the morning, cos it is too much hassle to settle him back into a routine if he spends the full night or even most of the night in our bed xx

^^^ I agree, I think early mornings are harmless. Cerys has other ideas xx

alfies only once slept with us and it was when we were at haggerston castle and it was freezing. he woke at 3am freezing so we brought him into bed with us and he slept till 9am. but apart from that he only comes into bed in the morning for
cuddles (after 7)and maybe we occasionally fall back asleep but thats not often x

Doesn't make a difference with Jamie. We did it as initially it was the only way he would sleep. When he was born he would never go down before 11 at the very earliest, was then up between 1-5 and then went down for about an hour. Thats all the sleep he had and would only sleep with us. If his really bad at night (and its normal for him to wake every two hours anyway) we put him in bed with us. However he happily goes back in his cot next time (well as happily as he ever goes to sleep). I would probably let her go to sleep with you and then put her back.

I know what you mean though. Jamie isn't a cuddly baby at all but he comes to bed with me when hubby gets up and we often lay together in the afternoon as its the only way he'll nap and I love being snuggled up with him

I used to bring Arwyn into bed with us just so she'd sleep but now she's too wriggly she'll crawl right off the bed!
I'm going to have sleepoverswith her when she's a bit older, but only on the nights that Daddy is nightshift

So far never at night and I hope I can continue the never rule. But I know it's easy to start if they're sick but I'm going to try to resist.

Mornings are a different matter. Ellie gets in our bed every morning for her bocky.

^^^ awwwwww

Liberty, thats a good idea, I might try that first, if I remember and am not in a deep sleep

I've never let Stephen sleep in our bed, I don't think I'd be able to sleep with him in our bed now and I know my sil had terrible trouble with my niece because she got into the habit of sleeping in their bed and it took a long long time to get her out of the habit! That sounds like a good plan about sorting it out after being away. xx

I've only once allowed Thomas in bed with us and that was only because we were at the inlaws and he was disturbing the whole house when he had a cold. At home I always settle them in their own rooms but I'm quite lucky that both my two love their own space and their own beds.

I was always determined not to fall into the trap after my friend's horror stories about her daughter sleeping with her when she was single then the hell she went through to get her in her own bed when she met a new guy. My two do jump in with me in a morning but they aren't allowed out of their rooms until 6.30 at the earliest so in with me and allowed down stairs at 7 - most of the time though they do sleep until after 7 but I bring them in with me and let them have their milk just because I love to snuggle with them

xx

MiniMeg wrote:

^^^ awwwwww

Liberty, thats a good idea, I might try that first, if I remember and am not in a deep sleep

Yep its always my plan but often find I wake a couple of hours later with a dead arm and him there!

Libby has never slept in our bed and she wont even get in with us in the mornings, she waits in her room til we go in there to get up so seems pointless going back to bed then

I would definately stop though hun before it gets into a real habit, my friends little girl is the same age as Libby and has NEVER slept in her own cot/bed for a whole night, she'll go to sleep there but at 2ish will have to get into bed with them. My friend is pregnant again - due in July and she still does this, it's going to be awful when the baby is here with all of them in the same room (especially if the baby is like Dexter ). They've tried several times to stop it but aren't firm enough with her and now that she is in a bed she just gets up and gets in their bed with them, it would be much easier to sort when they're in cots still.

I hope it doesnt take long for her to get back into her normal routine xxx

Alfie used to come in with me when he was ill and couldn't settle. He used to spend hours crying then as soon as he came in with me he was out like a light. Luckily, he never started trying to come in when he wasn't ill.

I found though, that when he was in with me he'd wake earlier as when he woke up he'd see me and get all excited, whereas if he was in his cot he'd not see anything exciting and go back to sleep.

I'd probably just not let her come into your bed if she's not ill or anything, although if she was in bed you wouldn't have to come up with a 'headache' excuse to OH

Callum still comes in with us sometimes if hes really ill but he doesnt really sleep more crying adn i bring him into bed as if we go in the livingroom he wakes up and i cant get him back off. I dont find he gets use to it tho when he was getting his teeth through he ended up in our bed quite oftern but as soon as they were few he was fine bk in his cot.

I've never let Tyler sleep i my bed and hope that i never will (even though I would really love it) I just don't want him to get into that habit.

I wouldn't let her fall asleep in your bed and then move her though because then she will associate falling asleep with being in your bed and I think you'll find it even more difficult.

I would just try and get her back to sleeping and staying in her own room.

evan used to always sleep in the bed with us, he was always a nightmare sleeping and used to wake up 5 or 6 times a night every night screaming or just be wide awake! it started from him being ill i took him in with us and it then became habit and then it was the only way i could settle him! although even in our bed he still woke every hour or so!

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as he got bigger though there wasnt enough space so i got tough and left him to cry all night took a few nights but he got the hint and that was him in his cot all night from bout 15 month! then we moved house and he got his own room it was great until we put him in big boy bed and he realised he cud jst get out of his bed and walk thru to ours!!

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some nights he will sleep in his own bed all night some nights he comes thru and sleeps in ours half way thru the night and if i wake up i move him back to his own bed although this cud go on for bout an hour, other nights he will come thru get a cosy and go back to his own bed!

as you probably know, elijah sleeps in our bed pretty much every night - after 11 months of getting up over 8 times a night i just physically and mentally could not deal with it anymore and needed to sleep - it can be as late in the night as 3 or 4am when he comes in or as early as 11 if hubby isn't there...it has saved my sanity (to an extent ) but obviously it's a very different situation from yours!!!

we are also quite pro-co-sleeping and have considered putting our mattresses (ours and elijah's) on the floor and having done with it...i have personal views about it and feel that actually it's quite a natural and nice thing to do...but we need to be sure we are committed if we are going to take it that far!

Not in a million years. If Aimee sees a gap in the emotional blackmail market she uses it to her advantage and we will never get rid of her.

When we put her in a big bed, we got another spare single mattress and it slides under her bed. So, if either of the girls are poorly, we just get the mattress out and put it in whichever room we need to.

That way, they are close to us (normally me), but also in their own rooms so it doesnt upset the applecart when they have to go back.

It worked wonders too when getting Lily to go through the night in her cot.

x

thanks ladies. Well we're back form the weekend away so tonight the tough love starts Just hope she gets the hint and goes back to being an all night sleeper xx