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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:54 am | |
| Its just a wee snippet x
THE LAND OF GAEA
The eerie boom! boom! boom! Was the noise that woke Albert Bramble. You would have thought that he would have got used to the air raids and bombs exploding by now, but no, it was endless. It was the, ‘will we be next’ that petrified him the most. The last one was the closest yet. Maybe only six or seven houses away.
Albert lived in a modest house. Not much to show but at least it was dry and relatively draught free. He lived with his family in Yorkshire. There was his mother Margaret or Maggie to her friends and family. His father Wilson, his older brother Harry, and his older sister May. Then there was his younger sister Kitty, and last but not least, was 14 month old Aggie.
Their house had four bedrooms. His mum and dad along with Aggie were in one room, his sisters were in the next, himself and Harry in the third and the attic had been converted into a bedroom for his Grandmother and Grandfather. They had come to live with them when the war had broken out. They were both so old that they could no longer get out of bed, and it was up to the family to take care of them now. Albert hated having to take their meals up to them, as by the time he had reached the attic, he had spilled most of the food. So he tried to make up all kinds of excuses when his mom asked him to do it.
Albert did feel a bit left out sometimes being in the middle, but he didn’t mind so much as he had a great imagination and loved climbing the trees in the garden, pretending that he was the captain of a great ship or a tightrope walker on the high wire. Most of the time it was the highlight of his day. But there was one thing or should that be someone, that constantly tried to spoilt it for him, and that was his grumpy neighbor, Mr Bilberry. He was always yelling at him for climbing the trees. Says we will eventually destroy the lot of them and then where will we be? Well, I for one would just go and climb something else! But I did like our old oak tree. There was something about it, something magical, something special.
Albert woke up with the light streaming through the gap in the curtains and the clinking of breakfast dishes down in the kitchen. Harry was already up as his bed was empty. Unfortunately, Albert had to share with his older brother, which he hated at times because Harry snored very, very loudly. If it wasn’t the bombs that kept him awake, it was Harry! Still at least Harry’s snoring was a safer option than the bombs.
He stretched his limbs, yawned, and slid out of bed. Well, at least they had survived another night, he thought.He slipped his dressing gown on and plodded down the stairs to the kitchen. He plonked himself down at the table and hurriedly made himself some jam on toast. He love jam on toast. In fact, he loved most things on toast, which was his favorite food.
‘It was a close one last night said his mother’. Aye! “it shook the rafters all right” said his dad. Yes, literally! Gran and gramps are covered in stoor again. ‘Albert, after your breakfast nip down to Mr Braithwaite’s with the jug and get your gramps some stout and some cough mixture will you please, there’s a good lad. Albert began to protest but one look from his mother and he quickly decided against it. It will only take you 20 minutes, and then you can go out to play. May, be a love will you and go and dust off your gran and gramps again, they got the worst of it last night and they look like they've just come off a building site.
Albert finished his breakfast and dashed up the stairs to get dressed. Maybe if he got there and back quick enough, he could go and play in the tree. He’d found an old rope in his dads shed that he could use as a swing.
He pulled on his clothes, smoothed down his hair with some of Harry’s Bryl cream and raced down the stairs again. He’d just got to the front door when his mother yelled from the kitchen “Albert, I need you to fetch me some milk too” Here are the coupons and be careful you don’t lose them.
We manage to grow all our own fruit and veg in the garden. Folk were encouraged to do this lately as there was a huge food shortage. The likes of meat, milk, and powdered eggs were all rationed though because of the war. Most things had to be bought using Issued coupons. There were the odd rare eggs that became available, but they were kept by for favors or to trade for other such luxury items.
Albert took the coupons and jogged out of the door and down the street. His pace slowed down as he reached what should have been number 39. All that was left was a mound of bricks. It had been utterly destroyed in the bombing last night. The huge cherry tree that once stood at the front gate had been torn up. Its huge roots, like fingers heading towards the sky, with bits of soil still hanging off of them. Neighbors stood around shaking their heads in disbelief. There was no sign of the Burkinshaws. He wondered if any of them had survived, or if they had somehow managed to escape in time.
He carried on round the corner and bumped into Mr Langley who owned the butchers in Elliot Street. “Alright there young Albert?” where are you off to? ‘I’m just going to Wraithwghts” to get some cough syrup and stout” said Albert “ “Not for yourself I hope” he snorted. Mr Elliot had a funny high squeak for a laugh. Once you heard it, you couldn't help laughing yourself. It was a very infectious laugh. Even passers by would start to chortle away when they heard him. “No Mr Elliot, it’s not for me, its for my grampus” “Oh I see, you had me worried there, he said with another snort” “How is your gramps these days?” “ Alright I think” said Albert . “Well, lad give him and your gran my regards will you” and with that Mr Elliot and his funny little laugh went on their way.
Albert continued on to Wraithwaits, enjoying the warm sunshine on his face as he jogged along. He reached the shop and luckily there wasn't a que outside. It was a strange little shop. It was tiny to look at from the outside, but when you stepped through the door, the place was huge. Very deceiving indeed! Every bit of space was crammed full of something or other. There were pegs and ladders, cake tins and paint brushes along with screws and irons, all nestled in beside the boot polish, netting and washing powder. Then you went through a little passage way to the back room, where there was the chemist and everyday household items, like soap and tobacco and jams along with nylons and shampoos and a range of medicines. People say that a person could get everything they needed at Wraithwaits and if they didn't have it, then they could soon get it for you.
Albert purchased the stout, syrup and milk and headed for home. Taking the slightly longer route back through the park, or what used to be the park. It now looked more like the surface of the moon than the football pitch that Albert used to play on with his friends. He hated the war. It had changed so many things and affected everyone around him. He started to jog on again, desperate to go and play in the tree.
He neared the once mighty oak that had stood for hundreds of years and was now laying stricken on its side, after its roots were blown out of the ground when a bomb had hit it last week. Its mighty trunk splintered in two, straight down the centre, The leaves were already starting to wither. Its life force being sucked dry. No longer would he and his friends be able to sit under its vast umbrella shade, that it provided during the summer months. Mind you, not that there were many hot summers in Yorkshire. Yorkshire was famous for its rainfall. He was going to miss that tree. He seemed to be seeing more and more of them as the war dragged on. There great fibrous fingers splayed out along the ground, with their huge roots now pointing towards the sky. Some still bearing great clumps of earth from where they were tore from the ground.. Albert fondly brushed the crumbling leaves with his hand and headed on home.
When he reached number 73, his friend Joe was sitting on the step waiting for him. He had his huge dog Called Bruce with him. Bruce was a great Dane and was nearly as tall as Joe when he stood up, and when he stood on his back legs, Bruce was nearly the same height as Joe’s dad. Despite his size though Bruce was a soft as a brush, but without a doubt he would protect Joe with his life if need be.
"Ayup Joe” ayup up Albert” Where's tha bin? “ Just to Wraithwaits for uz mam “ Do you fancy starting that tree house tha wanted to build?””Aye, Just gi us a minute, whilst ah gi' these ta uz mam. Albert ran inside. Nobody answered when he called. So he left the shopping and the change on the kitchen table and ran back outside to play.
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:57 am | |
| Hmmm! reading it like this, I see it doesn't flow properly, but you get the gist lol |
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J1
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : England Posts : 2346
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:12 am | |
| i love it mo, the only think i picked up was from going from 'albert' to we does that male sense?
but its fab and very well written i want to read the whole book |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:20 am | |
| Which bit Jo? and thanks x |
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~ Katie ~
Age : 36 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Manchester Posts : 1124
About Me! My Name: Katie Status: Mummy Number of Children: 3
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:26 am | |
| wow its fab! well done you. i actually get palpitations at the thought of having to write a story xx |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:27 am | |
| I should explain that it is a childrens book and the lad falls into a different world, with other parallel worlds attached to it. Its all centred around the world that is underneath ours, which is crumbling due to the trees being torn up, with wars, logging, etc. There's also going to be a little bit of The Wizard of Oz in it It's not for everyone but id love your comments anyway x |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:30 am | |
| Thanks Katie ive not got a clue why I started it lol I picked a pen up out of the blue one night when I was in bed, and off i went |
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J1
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : England Posts : 2346
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:32 am | |
| That must be it then Mo!
Fab, love it!! |
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LesleyandBethany
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-22 Location : Cheshire Posts : 1527
About Me! My Name: Lesley Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:39 am | |
| Wow Mo, that is brilliant, well done to you.Will you still speak to us when you are a rich and famous author!!xx |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:43 am | |
| Lol hi Lesley Do you know what! You'll all be invited to the Premier and the after party in Cannes for a few sherries. How is lovely Bethany?x |
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LesleyandBethany
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-22 Location : Cheshire Posts : 1527
About Me! My Name: Lesley Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:58 am | |
| Mo, I'm gonna hold you to that!!! Can just see myself rubbing shoulders with George Clooney and co!! We are great thanks, Bethany is a good girl (most of the time!!), how is the lovely Harry doing? xx |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:04 am | |
| A nighmare! lol He's really pushing it at the moment, but he's just so adorable too He's like a little old man at times. Everywhere he goes he just says hi to everyone and when he's leaving, he puts his hand up and says ' Byeee, see you soon' bless him Are you on Facebook yet Lesley? Id love to see some photos of Bethany now x |
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Emmylou
Age : 52 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : Essex, UK Posts : 1202
About Me! My Name: Status: Number of Children:
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:13 am | |
| I want to read the rest... a few speech bubbles and spellings wrong but otherwise a good read.. I would gladly volunteer to read it completed - I'm pulled into Albert already I imagine a scraggy boy with brown hair, shorts and dirty white shirt with grey socks very war like |
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LesleyandBethany
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-22 Location : Cheshire Posts : 1527
About Me! My Name: Lesley Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:15 am | |
| Awwww bless Harry, he is adorable. No I'm still not on FB but I was thinking the other day I will have to post some piccies on here of Bethany. We were on holiday last week, so I'll try and pop on some of those piccies. You will have to put some on of Harry for us none FB's. xx |
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EmVar
Age : 47 Join date : 2010-09-20 Location : Sheffield Posts : 823
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:17 am | |
| I really like it!
Your speech marks are a bit hit and miss in para 7 if you don't mind me saying.
I'm a bit of a pedant when it comes to spelling, grammar punctuation etc so if you want a proof-reader, I'm your gal x |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:19 am | |
| Oh thanks Emma Oh how I wish I'd listened in English lol - Its going to be in black and white and when he goes into the Land of Gaea he walks into a carnival and a riot of colours. Hark at me making the film already lol |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:21 am | |
| - LesleyandBethany wrote:
- Awwww bless Harry, he is adorable. No I'm still not on FB but I was thinking the other day I will have to post some piccies on here of Bethany. We were on holiday last week, so I'll try and pop on some of those piccies. You will have to put some on of Harry for us none FB's. xx
Ahhh you must get yourself on but I will definitely pop some on here xxx |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:25 am | |
| EmVar not at all, id rather everyone be honest. Im to long in the tooth to be hissy about that sort of thing, and you're on I'm officially pants at written English so I welcome you with open arms, as long as you don't charge a fortune ;0) |
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snoopy21
Join date : 2010-08-20 Posts : 5101
About Me! My Name: Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:00 am | |
| Sounds good. Reminds me a bit of Goodnight Mr Tom - think thats just the kid in a war type thing but.
Not sure I totally follow were you are going with it but guessing Id have to read more of it. How much have you wrote? I think it would be quite relaxing writing a book. Id love to come up with a good idea for childrens books. Seems a hard area to break into though. Good luck! x |
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Pickle and Pup's mummy
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-28 Location : Carshalton, Surrey Posts : 815
About Me! My Name: Mandy Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:39 am | |
| Really like it, found it difficult to follow in laces but a good story. Did notice a slip into american spelligns a few times though so wasnt sure where it was set till near the end. When can we read more???? Mandy xx |
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XxCHARnNOAHxX
Age : 36 Join date : 2011-03-25 Location : West-Midlands Posts : 2447
About Me! My Name: Charmaine Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 6:35 pm | |
| Great story hun well done you
Char |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:06 pm | |
| Snoopy i've written a bit more about it further up. Ive written a fair bit now, but I suppose when i look back over it, it seems like bugger all lol x |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:12 pm | |
| Mandy, Ive got a mac and its a nightmare for sneaking the American spellings in. It's so frustrating. Which part did you find difficult to follow? I need to know all of these things I'll pop some more on when i get round to putting it on the pc x |
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momaisey
Age : 110 Join date : 2011-01-27 Location : Scottish Borders Posts : 75
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:12 pm | |
| Thank you char |
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happy
Age : 37 Join date : 2010-09-18 Location : Ashford middlesex Posts : 2175
About Me! My Name: Becci Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: The Book Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:31 pm | |
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