at what age did/will you start kind of saying 'ok if you don't eat it you aren't getting anything else'?

elijah is more keen on some things than others and we are still trying lots of new things, but like today i gave him beans on toast - he ate quite a bit of toast but didn't seem impressed by the beans...at the moment i will probably make him something else i know he will eat, to make sure he has eaten...but at what point do you stop that?

I started doing that when Lilly was around 2

Iv kind of always done it (not offered alternative I mean). Well from about 1 maybe when weaning was properly established and I had a fair idea of her appetite/likes/dislikes etc.

In saying that I would never let her go hungry. Eg if I make spag bol (which she likes) and she only picks at it I would then offer her 2 petis filous as usual and possibly a piece of fruit after. At Eli's age she still had a bedtime btl so I also knew she would fill up then if she needed to.

Tbh I fretted alot that she would end up waking alot in the night of she ate feck all for dinner but it didnt seem to affect her sleep. Also if she didnt eat her lunch somedays it meant she ate most of her tea etc. From 12-18months it was quite common for Caitlin to eat very little at lunch time.

I wouldnt offer alternatives but just offer yoghurt/fruit at end of meal as usual - if that what you do and offer is next snack/meal at normal time.

We stopped offering Tyler alternative meals only a few months ago. he's never been that fussy but hes suffered a lot with ear infections (at what point it seemed to be every 3 weeks) so we would never know if the reason he wasn't eating was because he was in pain or just being fussy. so his alternative choice was always a jar or similar (which more often than not he did eat because he wanted something soft to eat)

Like snoopy we continue on with whatever we would normally give him regardless of what he's eaten - tonight was yogurt, fruit and biscuit then milk.

We offer her what we have and if she doesn't eat it, or picks at it, then it is usually because she is not hungry.

But if she doesnt like a particular food, it doesnt stop us offering it to her again, as on a differnt day, she might give it a go.

Generally, I dont offer alternatives, but do allow snacks between meals if she asks.

However, I found it very hard when Sophs was Eli's age to feel relaxed about it and did consider the, 'if you dont eat it, no pudidng' thing but then she kind of showed me that she is very good at knowing what she needs, and because we dont fuss when she doesnt try something, she isnt stressed about it when she tries it again, leading to success in the end. And sometimes i did used to provide an alternative but this sometimes led to the second choice also being denied so fruitless endeavour.

So basically, my opinion is, give him what you have planned and if not keen one day, offer snacks in between but dont stress, he'll eat more of it another time. I thikn i would be careful with offering a whole alternative emal, as this could lead to him becoming more selective about his foods that he will eat if one he does not like is always replaced. But my opoinion only!

Also, if its the first time he has had beans, he might have only had a few as adjusting to the very strong swet flavour. Sophs had beans when she was first weaning but would not entertain again till she was nearly a year! ( we did baby led weaning) Now loves them!

MAndy xx

Sorry, think that sound very sonfused so sorry if completely unhelpful and feel free to disregard totally! LOL

hmm well i don't really watch over him that closely when he's eating (obviously i'm there i don't just go off into another room haha) but we are encouraging him to have more and more of what we are having...say today we had lasagne so we did a little low salt version for him and he picked the pasta out (loves pasta) and ate quite a bit of the 'innards' too - he ate enough that i thought he was probably full and he had loads of yogurt/banana for pudding

if he hadn't eaten anything much i would have probably given him something else but like a half portion just to make sure he's full before bed, then carried on with pudding as usual...like you say if he doesn't like something one day he eats it all up another so we haven't decided he 'just doesn't like it' with anything yet - he isn't old enough to decide that yet!!!

hmm a few conflicting views.....it's more in terms of him having a full tummy than trying to avoid anything he doesn't like, it took ages for him to try ham or oranges and now he loves them after looking appalled at them for ages haha

but on the other hand i don't want him to start thinking hmm if i push this around long enough ill have something else...hmmm! although he ate up all of his broccoli today and ignored the peas, usually its the opposite....

totally useless rambling

I don't really offer Stephen any alternatives, I just give him his fruit or yoghurt or whatever afterwards as normal. He usually lets me know if he's really hungry! He never eats that much for lunch usually so I'll offer him a decent snack later if he hasn't eaten much but I don't want to get in to the habit of him knowing that he can have something else if he doesn't fancy what I've made for him. It may sound really mean but if he's that hungry, he'll eat it! xx

I dont really offer alfie alternatives. I kinda know wat hes likes and stick to it. But he likes alot lol!! If he doesnt eat a meal, i normally just give him a couple of petit filous and some grapes at the end of his meal. I wouldnt offer him another "main course".

At the min tho hes really fussy and is going through the not wanting to eat anything for dinner stage. Most of the times its cos hes tired. He tends to nap about 12,30 and is really twisty in the hour leading up to it. Today we were out for dinner and he ate all of his fish fingers (3), a few chips and some peas. But other days he may only eat a few ritz crackers with cheese, a few grapes and a yog. He has a good brekkie too tho so as long as hes having 2 good meals a day im happy x

I have never offered a whole new meal - but I will never let her go hungry - so if she really doesn't like what it is I give her (doesn't happen very often lol) I will give her something plain like toast or cereal - cos I don't believe children should ever go hungry yet I don't want her to think she can refuse and get something else regularly

I don't say to her 'if you don't eat that you wont get anything else' because I wouldn't do that...if she is stalling I will say are you finished? Quite often she will say no and eat some more but if she says she is all done and pushes it away I decide then if she has had enough and maybe to offer something plain - tbh though even if she isn't very keen on something if she is hungry she will eat it, so it hardly ever happens that she gets offered something else.