Just read another post and wanted to know what are your partners like with your LO's?

My question are:

If you are ill do they look after the LO's? - My OH don't. I've been unwell since sunday last week and more painfully since Wednesday night. And it actually took my dad and his wife yesterday to say to him, let her get some sleep. He actually replied to my dad oh but I work 6 days a week, to which my dads wife replied (who has no kids) but Kelly works all the time. LOVE HER!!

Do you have to ask them to watch LO if you leave the room or pop to the shops? Or do they make a big deal about it and make you take them with you.? I have to make sure if i go to corner shop that H is sleeping and then he'll keep asking Rowan if he wants to go shop with me!!

One that got me last week was when I went to hospital i left at 7:20pm Rowans needs to be in bed no later then 8pm. I got back at 10pm and they were both asleep on the sofa and he told me he fell asleep before Rowan!!!!!

Also who's OH seems to think that because your off on Mat leave all the things they did before like washing up, tidying etc they no longer need to do because they are working?

I will be honest and can not fault my OH, i've been ill a few times and Richard has always got up to get Chloe for me if she has woken in the night (not very often now).



I don't tend to go out without Chloe but if I do I know I can leave her with Richard.



Sorry if I offend here but I kind of think it's irresponsible (sp) of your OH to fall asleep whilst Rowan is left to his own devices, what if something had happened.



And with regards to the being on Mat leave, I admit I do a lot more now than I did before (we split everything) but there are certain jobs Richard still does and he doesn't mind.



The one thing that drives me crazy is the saying 'well you're at home all day' I could punch my best mates OH when he says this, he thinks his house should be spotless when he comes home from work and when it's not he has an eppy, I don't know how many times I have told him kids make mess, that's what you let yourself in for when you have kids....Sorry went off on my own rant there.



Maybe Trev should spend a day in your shoes and see how he gets on then.



I hope you feel better soon hun



xx

My oh is not too bad and he's happy to do anything and would never moan. But he does need telling/asking. Not that he'd stupid, he'd far from stupid it's just that I'm sure mens brains need prodding and don't automatically know or can see what needs doing.

I think some really do see it as womans work!

My dad was great with my sis me growing up and was very hands on (even though he always really hard) he's just as good with my kids now and is a dap hand with shitty nappies.

xx

I am kinda lucky I guess...

Stuart NEVER did a night feed. I BF at the start and also with his epilepsy getting up in the middle of the night isnt really safe. He also has only got up 1st in the morning about twice, so in that respect it was hard on me the 1st year, but then thats not Stu's fault really. (Though I doubt he'd have been sharing nightfeeds anyway)

If im sick I do still get up 1st thing and change Caitlins nappy and make breaky. I sit with her until about 10 and then wake stuart and I do go back to bed once he has done meds. He is able to dress her, make lunch etc. Sometimes he would take her into town for afternoon in pram or to meet his mum for lunch. Its hard due to epilepsy as I really do think Stuart would like to take her out more/longer on his own but I cant let him risk it. When Im sick (and actually alot of time atm cos im tired) he makes dinner (all oven food mind) and clears up after. He also changes Caitlin and puts her to bed 1-2 nights a week if I want an early night. It easier now she a toddler, I dont think all this will be happening once the baby comes.

As for housework Stuarts jobs are bins, dishwasher and hoover living room rug. He seems to think that is loads and has made stupid comments before about me being at home all day when he works (3 days a week!) and that I should do more. Its a joke really because he cant even wash a dish if Caitlin awake and he looking after her. if I do go for a nap I wake up and the kitchen is always a bomb!

Hope Trev helps out a bit more. Stu def wasnt that great when Caitlin was a tiny baby. I dont think he appreciated how tired I was feeding all the time. Maybe sit trev down and explain how you feel x

Your OH's attitude to looking after his family is appaling, sorry if that sounds harsh but he just sounds so lazy and selfish and those pics on FB prove it!!



I'm quite lucky with Rob, he does loads with Harry and if I'm really done in or ill he will take him out for hours so I can have some rest... hes a diamond really, I don't appreciate him as much as I should! He will never ask me to take Harry with me if I needed to leave the room, but I have to make sure I tell him I'm leaving the room cos sometimes he doesn't notice I'm gone lol and as for the shop, whenever either of us goes we ask Harry if he wants to come and almost everytime I ask he says no, but he will go with Rob lol (mainly cos he knows he gets sweeties with daddy!)



I think you OH needs a good talking to, he was very irresponsible falling asleep before Rowan!!

He just shrugs his shoulders. when he does do something he goes on and on about like he deserves some sort of medal.

He takes the bins out but there could be 3 full black bins before he does. and we are in a 3rd floor flat so not easy for me to take them out with 2 kids.

I sorted all our clothes out once put his to the side (this was after a huge argument about keeping clothes we dont wear and he wanted to keep everything even though theses clothes had been sitting in boxs the last 6 months) I said to him to put them away. and he just moved them to the side of his bed on the floor and left them there. they stayed there for over a month before i threw them. he went nuts and i said well you've not worn one of them and i told you i'd throw them.

He is better with Rowan but as for the falling asleep bit i was not amused.

my dad was so concerned about me yesterday as i could barley speak he spoke to trevor in private to ask how i was and how i'd been and trev just went ah yeah she's fine it will pass.

This has upset me, i'm never ill the odd cold but i've always got on with it. but i really need his help this week and it took my dad to tell him.

right i got to go, doctors

I could slap him for you hun I really could, you've been through a lot and need lots of TLC and he needs to get his act together. Big hugs hun xxxxxx

My OH does lots... more than I do actually. but I guess our roles were a bit reversed as I am at work and he looked after Tyler. now Tyler is at nursery and OH sometimes works and is sometiems at home I expect him to do more because he's NOT doing anything at home but when he had Tyler I tried to help as much as I could.



if I need to lie down or anything he always has Tyler, I don't even need to ask- we share his care 50%. take it in turns to get up in the morning with him etc.

My oh is ok at things but he could do bit better with Callum.

He works f out of 7days 9hrs daily he then comes home cooks the dinner and sometimes washes up after but thats it. I do washing, housework. cleaning etc but i am the one at home so i dont expect him to do more iother then pick up after himself. He does come home and give Callum attention tho i cant fault him with the playing part.



When im ill hes now better when Callum was a baby he wasent too good but now he will say to me you stay in bed if ill and hes off work.

He never done a night feed EVER hes only put callum to bed a handful of times, he occastionally sits with him while he has dinner thats only if i have mine at the same time.

If pop out he moans about how long i am somtimes but i do say il be 10mins and come in hour and half later. But he is good with my hair apps and things like that aslong i give him notice to sort work out x



Your oh really should do more x

No I'm not, I have to ask A LOT and am extremely lucky if I get to die quietly. I also feel extremely guilty if I do leave Ollie with him as if it's my job and my job only to look after him?

Adam's really good. He really good. He tries to play with Jamie in the evenings so I get a break (Jamie rarely goes down before 10 so we don't get any time to relax). He also takes him at the weekend if I need a sleep. Unlike my friend's oh who refers to looking after their child as babysitting he is quite happy to have him although I have to run through everything with him first because he panics. He isn't good at getting up with him the night although mainly because he doesn't wake up even when he cries.

I'm quite lucky. My oh will have the kids if I nip out etc,NHS will also look after them if I'm I'll. On his Days off he has them as I'm usually working x

I think I am actually really lucky with Matt. I complain sometimes but i don't think i give him enough credit.

He'll look after Immi if i'm ill, he's even taken days of work to look after Immi if i've been too ill.

I wouldn't even bother asking if i was popping out the room/to the corner shop for him to look after Immi, he just would. I normally ask if I want to go to sleep cause I feel guilty but he never has much of a problem with it. He's had her all day if I've gone for a girly day shopping with Mum or sis and i think it would be easier without Immi and he's looked after her lots when I've gone out with friends, but I've done the same for him.

He's very good with night times, altho he never did a nightfeed, i was breastfeeding so wasn't really anything he could do and as he worked i wouldn't have asked him to do night feed unless I really needed him to. But now if Immi wakes up he'll go and settle her again. We put her to bed together so both do bath/story time.

Lately he's been working on his mini after work so he hasn't helped with Immi a lot and has missed bedtimes but he always makes sure it's ok to stay out late and will come home straight away if I need him.

He does have a tendency to just put on a DVD when he's looking after her which annoys me or he'll sit on the laptop but I think generally I'm lucky, so shouldn't complain too much.

mmmm this as got me thinking, about me and russ,

i dont expect him to do night feeds, although with lucas we lucky as i've done about 4 since he came home from the hospital, he sleeps now 9 to 7 and before that it was 12-6, but he works so i do the early morning shift apart from a saturday when he gets up to do it, but then when i'd stay downstairs with lucas and watch tv, or go on laptop, he will bring him back to bed and then its my turn to look after him, although he getting better.

i do more around the house now, when we both worked it was hard to clean on weekends, so now the house is generally more tidy as i do it daily,. but we share cooking and he always does the bins and he wont let me touch the cat litter.

he has actually told me off for not resting and going to bed early when its clear i'm shattered, i wont let go of some things like doing the bottles, but i know he would, its just me wanting to know they done before i can rest.

he is a great dad and he does things with rich so i can get a break, lucas isnt really a problem to care for and we take it in turns to settle him, but rich needs occupiing and he does that for me. sounds silly but he brought him a new ps3 game last week so he can play it, so even though hes not there, hes giving me a break for 30 mins.

with other things like dropping washing where he takes it off, never taking his cereal bowl into kitchen, he drives me crazy, but hes alright, think i'll keep him for a while longer.

kelly sweet, you need to talk to your man, if it takes your dad to say something to him then he needs talking too, especially as your so poorly, hope he realises soon that he needs to look after his mrs

Reading this makes me realise how lucky I am, where Chloe is concerned, we do things equally, I don't have to ask him to look after her, I'll just say I'm going to the shop and go, I go out every Thursday evening and he stays in, I don't need to leave him instructions, Every morning he gets up before me, gets her milk and breakfast ready and brings me a coffee in bed, at weekends he'll get up with her at least one of the days and let me lay in for a bit. I do most of the cooking because I'm home in the afternoons so it makes sense, but he usually washes up after, and he usually puts Chloe to bed in the evenings. I do most of the cleaning and he does the laundry. We have a good system worked out and I never ever feel taken for granted.

I think you ladies with lazy men need to give them a kick up the backside. I blame their mum's, my ex was a lazy so and so, and that's because his mum did everything for him, with Matt his mum made him do stuff at home, so he's grown up knowing how to look after himself. At least you'll be able to make sure your sons grow up to treat their partners properly!

i am SO SO lucky!

sam is as hands on as i am....he will take the kids if i feel sick, need to pop out, or even want to take an hour for myself, he never whinges or makes me feel bad for it

lily-ann's sleep problems are so bad that i can be up for hours in the night so he'll take the kids the next morning so i can sleep late...i really can't fault him when it comes to caring for the kids

I could write an essay about how lucky I am and how I really feel for some of you ladies because I feel so strongly about how poorly some of you are treated by your OH's but all I'll say is, not all men are selfish and immature. I have a wonderful husband and he is a fantastic father. From day one, he' has shared the load of getting up in the middle of the night even when it meant going to work at 5am because it isn't worth going back to bed (he usually starts work at 7.30am). We have both complained about this and that but he has never complained about having to look after our son.

Is our life perfect, definitely not. Our relationship has suffered over the last two years but not because of him but because of me. He helps out, in different ways, but in equal measures. Even though I say I appreciate him, I know I don't show it.

So when I read posts like this, I feel bad. Obviously for some of the ladies but also I feel bad for myself in how I treat my OH.

We'll be fine but it just reminds me how hard I've found being a mum.

Sorry gone off the subject slightly. xx

yeh im lucky.

if im ever ill oh makes sure I dont leave my bed. thats rare though think ive been ill about 3 times since hannah was born.

if either me or oh and nipping out anywhere we ask hannah if she wants to come. sometimes its nice having the house to yourself for 5 minutes and we both give each other that opportunity.

yesterday he had hannah downstairs while he was cooking dinner and I had a 20 minute lie down with a book which was heaven until I went downstairs later to find half a tub of pringles crunched all over the floor and some lovely drawings in black crayon all over my walls. that sort of thing can be annoying but he is only male after all.

think you need to sort your oh out kell!

x

I know what you mean Tarn when I see posts like this I realise how lucky I am and sometimes how ungrateful I am. Matt is actually a great husband and father and I don't appreciate him enough sometimes or show my appreciation well.

I must admit that James does normally have to be 'told' to do something, but since I have been pregnant this time, he has been brilliant and dont most things without me even asking.



He was also really good with getting up with the girls as soon as Lily was first born so that I could have a lay in as I done all of the night feeds.



We did have a blip with Lily when she was first born, but I think its just that (most) men are crap with newborns .



x