And spoke to my mum about spoiling C. I started by saying C had been a little challenging of late but was improving so much with the sticker chart/book and naughty step to the point id not stepped her in a fortnight. I said though that cos Neils working so much overtime atm Im basically in sole charge of discipline cos Im always there which means as soon as anyone else is around she pushes me away and tries to run to someone else if I tell her off. I said because of this I needed everyone to be on baord with how Im doing things.

I think she knew what was coming and started protesting but I didnt let her. I said Id told her off just minutes before for kicking the highchair and she had immediately run to my mum. I said that it was a credit to mum I was having to have this conversation because shes not an absent grandparent and I understood her need to spoil her grandkids but because she sees them every few days she is a role model in C's life and I really need a consistent approach.

So i explained that if C runs to her when I tell her off I really need her to verbally back me up and then went through the system we use of stickers in her book for good behaviour and 10 stickers gets her a treat where naughty behaviour gets a warning then 2 mins in the chair. I said id get a book for her house and maybe 5 stickers could get her a choccie bar instead of 10 for a reward (which is my way of trying to cut down the crap mum lets her have too-if shes gotta get 5 stickers 1st there will be less of that to). I also explained about the penny she gets for her penny jar if she tries hard at dinnertime and said Id leave some pennies at mums house she can bring home after visits if she earns one at dinnertime to put in her jar

I really think I needed to have this conversation and i dont think she was initially impressed but to be fair to her after we were done talking C was kicking the chair again and this time Mum told her off and the look on C's face was priceless you would have thought she had been shot. Dad came along too and as I was explaining the chart and step system we use you could see he was totally behind the idea so Im hoping by roping him in it will get enforced cos like I said to mum shes gonna be the bulk of my childcare so I simply cant have C confused by conflicting approaches

Anyway we went to town and i bought the same sticker album we use for C at home plus some packs of stickers for mums house and C after mum told her off actually came to me for cuddles and held my hand in the street so maybe she wont keep seeing me as this terrible ogre now

Glad it went well. I def think kids need a consistent approach and I think deep down your mum knows that too.

The only thing I would be wary of is if your mum is hell bent on treating C that she will give her stickers for ridiculous things. I know if Stuart was doing the same system with Caitlin he could have her with 5 stickers within 15 mins of being in charge purely for doing simple things like saying please, setting her cup down gently, giving him a hug etc.... Guess you just gotta see how it goes!

At least the ice has been broken there and your mum and dad know what your expectations of C are.

Well done you missus! Sounds like you dealt with that perfectly!

Yeah, I know, whenever i discipline Sophia she calls for Daddy and it does make me feel like the bad guy. But she does need to know what is ok and what isnt and that does take consistency.

well done and fx your mum does well with it too.

Mandy xx

Wow I'm really impressed - well done you for setting up the system, sticking with it, communicating it, getting agreement to it and everything. Supernanny mario!!