my step dads mum has been diagnosed with cancer but they've said it is manageable and I think as she's fairly old (must be in her late 80's/early 90s) they think she will probably die of old age before the cancer gets her... well once they confirmed this she decided she wanted the whole family to go on a cruise to celebrate her and her husbands diamon wedding anniversary.



She wants to go on a 22 night cruise from Southampton to the caribbean over Christmas and New Year and the starting price per adult is two and a half grand Tyler would be around 1100 and the baby a couple of hundred. This doesn't include any off the boat excursions but obviously includes all meals.



My mums asked us what we think and Im just not sure... it's a LOT of money (I could have 2 more babies in private hospital over here for that lol) and I don't know if 3 weeks on a boat is going to drive us crazy with a 3 year old and a 1 year old.. but at the same time there will be LOTS of people going to help us out... and some older kids who love playing with Tyler too. The boat is a family friendly one and has children play area's and nursery etc.



Do you think it sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen or do you think it would be fine?

I think you'd have a wicked time tbh as on the boat you'll have so much help from family members who will all dote on Tyler and the new baby. The only thing that makes me :affraid:is the price!!!! She doesn't do things by half does she?!?!?! Those are honeymoon prices. Yes it'll be lovely and it's a wish of hers but seriously that is a hell of a lot of money to expect people to pay, especially people with a toddler and new baby. She should help you out imo x

Is she paying or expects you to pay? Its an awful lot for you to pay for something youve not picked, ya know if you decided to spend that on such and such its a different thing...but hmmm I dunno

I think the cruise would be fabulous, i have been on one and the food was ace, there was lots to do and you'll have family to help. However i think its far too much to expect you to pay, i think is she wants everyone to go then she should put some towards it to make it a more reasonable price for the rest of you x

Lisa wrote:

Is she paying or expects you to pay? Its an awful lot for you to pay for something youve not picked, ya know if you decided to spend that on such and such its a different thing...but hmmm I dunno

I was going to ask this too. There is no way I could justify coughing up £7,000 for a holiday (before off board trips ) that somebody else chose.

x

I think it would be an amazing holiday but I really couldn't justify paying that much for it.

i would go for it if you are able to comfortably pay for it, it would be an amazing opportunity and to share that with all your family would be the icing on the cake. however if the money would be a big issue i would decline. maybe you could have a big family party? for those who cant go as well

Crikey that is a lot of money. I think it would be a fantastic experience for you and Tyler and as has been said there will be lots of help around if there's a big family group going. It may be the only opportunity you ever get to do anything like this, and if it was me I know if I didnt go I'd be really grumpy about the fact while everyone else was off enjoying themselves.

But it's soooooo much money and you need to think carefully about whether you can really afford it. If you're fortunate enough to be able to then go, but don't go bankrupting your family in the process xx

If you can afford it go. If she's paying, then deffo go!

Babies and toddlers are always hard work wherever you are but at least you'd have someone cooking and washing up and even making the beds. Plus all those family members cooing over Tyler and baby

But for me it would come down to money.

For me it would come down to the money too. I think it would be an amazing holiday and all your family would be there to help out but it's such a lot of money that I would only be able to spend it if I had plenty to spare in the first place or if she was paying towards it too! xx

No I wouldnt go simply because the thought of living in a boat for 2 weeks scares the shit out of me. but oh my god the cost!! thats our life savings!
x

It is expensive isn't it! I think that's whats putting me off.. she says she is going to put money towards it but don't know how much and it's a bit cheeky to say we'll go but how much are you going to pay lol.



I guess just have to wait and see how much we would have to pay... there's so many things I could do to my house for that money though... I only bought it last year and I want to build a little wall and fence around the garden so I can get rid of the trees and get more space... I want central heating which is about 8k and I'd rather have that than go on a cruise ugh what to do what to do...

I think the house is a better thing to spend money on personally!! It would cause some resentment if you forked out for the cruise, didnt like it for whatever reason/felt it wasnt worth the money ...and wished you'd spent it on the house!

I know I agree... but then at the same time I feel bad what if she dies the week after and her dying wish was for all of us to go on this cruise Id never forgive myself lol.



Im too indecisive for decisions like this grrrr.



I'll just wait and see how much we would have to contribute and then decide...

I'd go if i could afford it but she needs to be realistic here too. if she wants everyone to go with her she should surely pick something that everyone can go to. I bet your not the only family member going over this.

maybe suggest something else that everyone can afford. i'd speak to other family members to find out what they think.

they aren't even MY family which makes it harder lol it's my step dads mum...

if it was my nans dying wish Id do it but she's not so... dunno. like you say Id rather have the money for the house or even another baby



or a car... or god there's so many more things I would do... Im sort of leaning towards no but I don't want to let anyone down. I dont want my mum to have to feel like she should pay for me to go too (she is like that... not that she's made of money but she would try her hardest!) My sister couldn't afford to go she only earns 100 odd euro a week !

A tricky if it was my nan whos wish it was i would without adoudt do what i could to get the money as my nan meant the world to me and i hate boats and the sea
but if i wasent very close to the person i dont know if i would i proberly sound really horrible now x

she is lovely and always sends things over for Tyler (more so than my own Dad does grrr) and I'd feel really guilty if something happened to her and we hadn't gone but on the same note I'm sure she would rather us not scrimp and save and not get things done to the house to go... she says she wants the "whole family" to go but im not sure if that really includes us or not... my mum wants us to go but Im sure if we didn't we wouldn't be missed...

We are going on a cruise with noah for our honeymoon and i am thinking £800 each is expensive lol.

That is a lot of money i would have to get a loan out to pay that pmsl, but it would be an amazing experience for both u and children

Char

haha yeh it will be amazing but OH has also just revealed to me that he really suffers from sea sickness and goign across the atlantic in December isn't exactly going to be plain sailing is it lol

Hah thats ur decision made then lol. That would not be good feeling like that for 22 days lol.

Char

I was going to say, why not see who's going before deciding how guilty to feel about not going! You aren't immediate family, and it sounds like you're not sure if you're 100% invited. Does she have plenty of other family going anyway, so she still gets her wish?

Then I read the sea sickness part and I know for certain I would not spend that much money to spend 3 weeks with my head in a bucket!

Perhaps you can help them out by taking a car load of those who are going to the docks or something xx

Money aside (that's unbelievably expensive to me),there is no way on earth I would take my kids (nearly 3 and 1) on a cruise for 1 week let alone 3 and here are my reasons:

*Tbh no matter how 'family friendly' a ship is to me it just isn't a suitable holiday for two toddlers.
*It wouldn't be a holiday for you as you would just spend your whole time panicking about what they are up to and who they are annoying, what they are climbing, scribbling on, chewing, fighting over etc
*Yes family like to 'dote' on toddlers for a day or so but they soon get bored and they get handed back to mummy, especially if the rest of the family have paid that ammount of money they are gonna want to enjoy themselves and not spend the time babysitting.
*You wouldn't be able to enjoy the evenings as the kids would get extremely grouchy and unmanageable with too many late nights so you will find yourself sat alone in your cabin with two sleeping kids whilst everyone else enjoyed the evening entertainment.
*There might be loads of kids play areas and pools etc but those aren't the sorts of places you can relax and take your eyes off toddlers so you will be completely on edge most of the time and will come home exhausted and resenting the ammount of money you spent.
*Also from experience you will dread tantrums and the 'looks' from other passengers and family so will spend your whole time trying appease the kids with treats and activities and their routine and discipline will go out the window and you will then spend another 3 weeks of hell when you get home trying to get them back to normal.

Nope! no way on earth I would go, sorry

xx

lol Emvar they all live in Cardiff and we're in Cyprus so we couldn't even help out with anything anyway! On top of the cruise cost I have to pay to get to southampton too!



Debs no your absolutely right I think we're just going to decline. Even if they paid for the whole thing my OH isn't keen because of his travel sickness. i'd rather spend Christmas at home