I have often thought I'd like to do this for someone (even the kind where its my egg and the mans swimmers if needed). I am pretty sure I could deal with the emotional detachment side of things

What I have from Izzy - well to be able to give that gift to someone - thats worth enduring the pain!

Anyway I've been giving it more thought cos Dan is adamant he doesn't want another baby for us yet - so what do I do sit around waiting to 'complete' our family first as the surrogacy people seem to think should be done...or go ahead and help someone in the time between our family being made?
If I wait til we complete our family then it may well be too late to go through another pregnancy - cos I wouldn't want to get PG again for a couple of years, as they prefer the woman to be under 35...well if I did a surrogacy soon then I could still have my own well before being 35...but if I do it the other way round there wouldn't be time.

The other thing is would the fact I had obstetric cholestasis mean I wasn't able to do it? Izzy was born perfect so it wasn't an issue for her.

Anyway what are your thoughts on the general 'rules' concerning when ladies should be surrogates?

i personally dont think it matters if your family is complete or not, cos who actually knows if your gna have another child or not? but knowing full well that you do want another child do you really think you could see all the scans etc and not get attached?
I really admire people who do surrogacy, i couldnt do it for medical reasons but even if i could i don't think its something i could deal with!
x

I'm with niccsy - I really admire people who can do it even though I know I couldn't.

I do think it would be a lot harder to deal with if you know in your heart your own family isn't complete though. I would have to look at all eventualities. What if there is a problem during that pregnancy/birth that meant you couldn't then have any more children - could you cope giving a child away knowing that you would never have another of you 'own'?

I would also say that if you have not completed your own family then I would stay away from egg donation tbh. That must make it a hell of a lot harder to deal with knowing that biologicaly it's 'your' child. Whereas if it was simply a case of lending someone your uterus for their egg and sperm I think it would be easier to detatch yourself?? Like babysitting for 9 months

I really admire you for wanting to do this hun and if and when you go ahead and try we will all be here to support you if needs be

xx

I think its a wonderful thing to do but only when you're ready to do it. xxxx

I've been thinking about this too. I think that I could be a surrogate but only in the case of a donated sperm and egg. I definitely don't think that I'd be able to hand over a baby that was actually part of me.

Appart from the ms I LOVED being pg, so much so that I was delighted she went overdue! I know I could cope with those things. Having the actual parents there at scans, appointments and the birth would be wonderful to witness. Seeing their excitment would be enough for me.

My issue is that I definitely want more children and I certainly won't have had them by the age of 35 so I guess it's a no go for me. I'm unsure as to whether I could give over a baby if my family wasn't complete. Only you know how you'd cope in that situation. xxx

I was thinking about this too. It's a gift i'd love to give to someone else. I'm getting on a bit too though x

I actually said to my SIL and BIL that if their IVF failed then i would offer to be their sarrogate i would love to do it and i think by having at least one of your own does help. xxx

I deffo cudnt do it with an egg of my own id have to be a rent-a-womb. But then i cudnt do it anyway as i dislike pregnancy so much and its only worth it cause of the beautiful bundle at the end so to go through all that then hand em over wud be awful. Admire you for even considering it but dont have much practial advice tbh

hi ladies i am a gestational surrogate currently 23 wks pregnant with twins i chose to do this as my family is complete i have 4 children 2 girls 2 boys.to do gestational surrogate was a very easy choice for me to make as i am not genetically connected to these twins at all and would be easier for me to hand babies over to the intended parents.i loved been pregnant somuchthat i decided to help couples have children wilst im still young.all this was done thru ivf and we had 2 embryos put bck and it worked first go. there has been problems with bleeding 3 times twice been recently due to a low lying placenta.and i would do all this again to give couples what i have and that is a loving family. sorry if i have waffled on but the couple im doing this for are fantastic and deserve this so much.xxxxx.

I honestly couldnt do it - id only do something like that for my sisters, I dont know why as before Hannah and Joseph I would of gladly done it(maybe as i knew how hard it was to get a baby) but somethings just changed in me.I couldnt tell you what though
I def think if you are up for it to make some enquires and see what happens from there, if its meant to be its meant to be hun and it will all fall into place. I have great respect for anyone who does something like this
x

I couldn't do it myself, I love the idea, but i know i'd have an attachment to the baby whether the egg was mine or not and it would break my heart to hand a baby over.
Also and i don't know how others would feel, but i'm not sure my oh would like it much, Not that i've asked him lol!

i would love to do it for someone but like others have said, i wouldn't do it with my own eggs. not sure if i'd have to wait til my family is complete though, and i honestly wouldn't mind if after doing it i couldn't have any more children.
think i'd only do it for friends/family though, i didn't enjoy being pregnant that much to pimp myself out

i think it is a wonderfull thing the most precious gift you could ever give to someone. id love to do it but know i wouldnt be able to detatch myself from the baby and wouldnt be emotionally strong enough to hand the baby over. also iv had 2 awful pregnancies and after olivers birth i dont think id could go through that for someone else(sorry i know that sounds spiteful ) it makes it all worth it for the precious little bundle and overwhelming love you get at the end of it...if id had easy pregnancies and births and was a bit more emotionally strong its definatley something id consider.
i think itd be easier if it wasnt your egg either, just lending them your womb are you happy to wait a few more years to complete your family?? also like debs said the possibility something could go wrong?? if you have really thought about it and are happy to do it then go for it hun, its a very admirable thing to do, we will all be here to support you xxx

I think people who do this are amazing!

I am not sure that I could do it, or at least not until my family is complete, but everybody is different, and if its something you seriously wanted to do, and you had the support from Dan, then it would be a lovely thing to do for somebody.

x

I admire people who do it, i couldn't though i'd get too emotionally attached

crackers2011 wrote:

hi ladies i am a gestational surrogate currently 23 wks pregnant with twins i chose to do this as my family is complete i have 4 children 2 girls 2 boys.to do gestational surrogate was a very easy choice for me to make as i am not genetically connected to these twins at all and would be easier for me to hand babies over to the intended parents.i loved been pregnant somuchthat i decided to help couples have children wilst im still young.all this was done thru ivf and we had 2 embryos put bck and it worked first go. there has been problems with bleeding 3 times twice been recently due to a low lying placenta.and i would do all this again to give couples what i have and that is a loving family. sorry if i have waffled on but the couple im doing this for are fantastic and deserve this so much.xxxxx.

How lovely!!!

After reading your replies ladies I think you are right it would be harder if it were related - and also the thought of someone else baby looking like MY baby is odd!

I don't know, its something I so want to do, I get very emotional when I think about it, but not about the baby, about giving someone something like that - but its so hard knowing if/when the right time would be

Have you spoken to Dan about it? What does he think? x

Nope he'd think I was mad, so until I know in my own head there aint any point trying to talk to him about it!

Good point. Its a good idea to go in with everything straight before talking to him x

I think I am just worrying that leaving it too late would rob someone of the chance to have a baby - all cos I couldn't decide or thought I should wait for this and that

aww lisa that is a lovely idea! i say good one ya for wanting to do that

i thought about it a few years ago, but i think now after having paige i dont think i could.. i would worry that i would get too into it n then feel horrid getting go of the baby....

also same as soem of the others said, i dont think, if i would do it that i would use my eggs.. think it would be even harder to get go

Think anyone who agrees to be a surrogate is amazing. I'm not sure I could do it though but my feeling on this may change if we have our own little one. It must be such an amazing feeling to give such a gift to someone else.

Think it would probably be your choice in the end Lisa in regards to timing, whether you want to complete your own family first. How does Dan feel about the idea? Someone rather tactlessly asked me if I would consider surrogacy if the news for us isn't good, so have been thinking about it alot recently, though so hope we don't have to go down that line.

Hopefully you wont need to Tiggs! But you are the kind of people that I think it has to be there for

I was reading all about it and came accross a woman wanting to do it cos she was 'too scared of a birth'

when i had my first meeting with the agency i was told was i 100 per cent cert my fam was complete because it can leave you infertile because of the drugs i was taking for ivf so i really think anyone who decides to go thru with it has to be cert incase of not getting pg natrually for themselves if they decided they wanted more.good luck lisa if you do decide to to it and live every1 has said you will get the support from the agency themselves aswell as friends and family and every1 on banda.xxxx.

hiya ladies sorry i havent been on much just an update to say i had the twins in april at 34 weeks gestation weighing in at just over 4llbs each boy/girl were done by a crash c section due to me losing 3 litres of blood and needing a transfusion because of placenta previa i am now fully recovered and i am so happy that i had done this for someone so much so that i am meeting my next couple very soon. the twin s are nearly 6 months old and time has flown by.xxxxx.