Do/did you ever find yourself resenting your OH? Early hours when he's snoring away and i'm feeding Joshua I really really resent him. Sometimes he'll wake up and ask if Joshua and I are ok and I find myself being really rude to him just cause I think you can't help so why bother waking up. It's so silly cause it's my choice to breastfeed and therefore cut him off from helping with feeds but I just get so moody about it when I'm tired.

Also do/did you feel that special bond from breastfeeding that everyone goes on about? i feel i have bonded with Joshua but thats more from when i cuddle him and talk to him or play with him. If i'm honest i find feeding really boring and sometimes really annoying. Is that horrible?

not horrible at all, its awful to say but i really resented oh, and sometimes elijah when i was very sore/tired and felt bf was more of a burden than the pleasure everyone went on about. i had to have stern words with myself and remind myself it was my choice, that usually made me feel better because i knew i didnt want to stop!

I don't think I bonded with Jamie through it at all because I hated it for the first six months. I used to get really upset with oh at times. In fact I still do, although with more reason now, because he still doesn't get up in the night with him despite the fact he doesn't always want feeding.
I think people forget to tell you just how hard bf is

oh yes I was so bloody mad when he slept through it all! I dont know about the bonding thing sometimes I think it did help but I haven't got any other experience.

BF Rowan fells different to H. It's alot easier then bottles for me. I felt a huge bind with Rowan but I don't with H which worries me. But I think I felt it when I weaned hi
Off so may feel the same when I do the same with her.

And yes I hated OH to bgin with and you do get over it and I snapped too when he would ask of we were both ok.

And BF is boring I always make sure I either have my phone (which I'm on now as I'm feeding) laptop, tv remote or mag to read. H still feeds from 6-7 to about 9-9:30 at night but then she either sleeps through to 7 or wakes at 5 for a quick feed

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have at times hated Simon, especially when if Dexter's been screaming at night depsite me feeding him/cuddling him trying everything I can to get him sleep and he lays there tossing and turning, huffing and puffing. And then in the morning when I've been up most of the night and he'll say something stupid like 'Dexter was bad last night wasn't he' even thought he slept through most of it, maybe heard 10 mins max!!

As you know there has been many a time when I've wanted to give up but the stubborn little so and so wouldnt and wont take a bottle or cup of anything even EBM so I've felt stuck as though I had no choice. Luckily its getting slightly easier now as hes only having maybe 4 feeds a day, but the resentment is still there as he seems to think it's my job to deal with him, day or night - in fact he probably changes his nappy once a fortnight!!

With regards to the bond, I feel a bond or is that a tie? either way I feel like I cant leave Dexter for more than an hour in case he gets hungry/tired/upset etc. as he will only be calmed or settled by me. Unfortunately it was exactly the same with Libby as she was BF, it only changed when she was 8 months and I was back at work.

I did when I was doing it, I am a bit ashamed to admit a few times I looked at him snoring and wanted to actually punch him.

That was more the fact I was expected to get up in the night though but I have to say even though shes now bottlefed I am still the one to get up in the night which is more problematic for me in terms of feeling resentful cos at least when bfing there was a reason whereas now its cos I get dumped with it

Bonding wise I dont feel more bonded to Awen than Caelyn for it but Awen is def a huge huge mummys girl right now which i think is a bfing thing and if neils holding her will often crane round or throw herself about looking for me (and I try not to feel smug but it does feel good to be the centre of her universe )

No doubt in a years time I will be second fiddle again as I am to C where daddy is concerned but im enjoying it while it lasts and I do think bfing played a part

And I agree with Kel its booooooooooring, yes i liked watching her watching me but in the middle of the night sometimes my phone was all that kept me from falling out of bed