My self-confidence is soooo low and I need to change it!
Tonight I was at a 40th birthday party with my whole family, dad, sisters, nan, aunties, cousins, the lot! I had a fairly nice time I wasn't drinking as I had Charlie and had to drive home.
Could I bring myself to get up and dance, nope I just don't feel comfortable enough in myself to do it!
I use Charlie as my excuse to get out of things all the time, he's like my security blanket! How sad is that!
I use to be the life and soul with or without a drink, always up for a laugh, now I'm just too self conscious and boring
I don't know how to get back to who I use to be? How do you build confidence?

Not sure what to suggest kell, did you want to dance? Did you really want to get up and go for it or did you maybe just not feel like it. You always come across as such a confident person.

I don't know about you but I'm often a lot more reserved when I'm with my kids as I worry about embarrassing them or setting a bad example.

I hope someone can give you some advice.

Kell

I, also suffer from low self confidence and could open my own bookshop with the number of self help books I own lol.

One book I swear by was recommended to me by Gill, its by Susan Jeffers and is called Feel the fear and do it anyway. I have a copy if you wanted to borrow it.

I know what you mean about the security blanket. I use my hubby as mine and am forever dropping out of things/letting people down because I lack confidence.

3 months ago we left home to spend 3 months in the US with my hubbys job. It was something I never ever thought I was confident enough to do as just a few months previous I was too scared to set foot outside my house.

I can't tell you how amazing it feels to have achieved this, confidence is a hard thing to gain but you can do it hun. You are not alone in the way you are feeling and I have got so much love and support from so many amazing ladies I meet through banda.

If you ever need a chat just drop me a wee pm. Take one day at a time, celebrate your achievements and don't beat yourself up over things you don't feel strong enough to achieve just yet.

Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and dive right in! It's weird how as soon as we become parents, our fun/wild self takes a backseat. If you have a safe ride home..and there is someone to help nurse your hangover in the morning..go for it! Let it all hang out and get your freak on! It's like riding a bike..you never really forget! LOL! x

hey kell just seen your post..im exactly the same! i will use jamie as an excuse to get out of doing things! espically dancing and things at parties/weddings! i must admit im ok once i have a few drinks (infact they usualy cant get me of the dancefloor) but if im sober there is absoultly no chance wat so ever id move out of my seat as i feel every1 is lookin at my fat legs/fat bum/fat arms/big nose etc etc!
but im sure every1 here would agree that u look stunning and you've done so well with the weightloss so far and weight watchers will help u even more!! so cheer up cos we all think ur lovelyyyy ) xx

Its weird, I'm trying to figure out why i have such a hang up over my weight, I've always been the 'fat friend' but its never been a factor that determined my personality!

Now it would seem that it is! I just don't feel comfortable in my skin anymore, I'm starting to think its happened since i've been with oh, I always felt we wern't together years ago because he didn't fancy me coz of my weight, he was always shallow in that respect or so i thought anyway! I look at the people he's been with before and i'm nothing like them! I don't know why i put myself down so much. It drives me mental!

again..same here! i look at my OHs ex's and think my god why is he with me i look nothin like them! they're all propa fake lookin skinny minnies and im the complete opposite! im completly parinoid hes gonna leave me for sum1 compltly diff to me..i feel like he thinks im borin cos i just sit at home most nights!
im sorry i dont know how to make you feel better cos if i did id be doing it myself.. i really hope u feel better soon though! it makes me sad xx

Lol thanks hun! Atleast i'm not mental on my own lol!

u definatly are not alone! i know how it feels to think that though! we'l think we're alone toghether..then we're not haha xx