Caelyns been really 'off' with one of the kids at church. For whatever reason shes taken a dislike to this girl and likes to tell me-LOUDLY, in front of her and her parents. I finally got her talking to Amelia sunday only for Amelia to take it into her head to start messing with C's hair and she went schitz. ended up having to take her outside for a time out to calm down. Shes also taken to screamin at people whotalk to her if she doesnt know them, the stranger danger is not a problem but the screaming i a bit wearing

I asked at school how she was getting on and they said she can be a bit of a loner, she likes to sit and paint and she enjoys talking to her teachers/aides. They think the boisterous ones freak her out and she doesnt seem to have much time for the ones with not a lot of language skills. Im guessing this might be why shes not gotten on with amelia as shes gotten in her face a lot in the last month like with the hair. Apparently shes made one friend at school, one of the other quieter girls.

I was thinking about the kids she does socialise with. shes got a little friend called amy and she adores amy as long as its at the park or amys house. Soon as amy comes to ours theres open warfare as C is INCREDIBLY possessive. She wont let amy touch a single one of her toys. Shes the same if anyone touches Awen. I know when Megs brought cerys to visit C has been the same with not sharing but has been lovely playing with her at the park. She was also lovely with Suse's Libby though again outdoors.

Im trying to think how to help encourage her to socialise more without pushing her and making her uncomfortable as I know she takes a while to warm to people. Im thinking about Sunday school instead of the family pew at church a)to seperate her from amelia for a wee while and b)she enjoys it as its structured but it does mean having someone to have awen as they wont take her without me supervising til shes 3. Im also wondering about a 3rd session at school. Alternatively letting her do baby ballet and baby gym again. Awen can come to gym too but id have to find someone to have her for ballet.

Just wondering really how other peoples toddlers are with the socialising and the sharing. Im not the most sociable of people-i tend to describe myself as a social retard actually so i dont wanna change her but would like to see her feel more comfortable in herself. And a way to stop the screaming would be great!

Any thoughts?

Imogen isn't that great at socialising either. She has a slightly older cousin that is quite possessive of toys and tells Immi what she can and can't play with and i've noticed Immi just can't be bothered with that anymore. When we're there she's started to just ignore her cousin and do her own thing. I think its also taught her a few bad habits though as i've noticed when shes with younger kids she will boss them about a bit. She loves her other cousin (who is the same age) but they don't seem to play together, i think they just play around each other. There's only one child she's taken a shine to, and i think it's cause he's literally the boy version of her. They can stand in the same spot just looking at each other laughing for ages. Its so funny but a bit weird.

We're not really sure what to do to get her to be more socialable and share and be nice to other children. I take her to sure start groups and always encourage her to talk to the other children but she only cares about Joshua and her one friend Rhys. Unless she's outwardly mean to another child i've started to think it doesn't matter for the moment I'm not that sociable, I can be really shy and nervous so I find it hard to encourage her when i'm not like that myself.

Reading that back it probs doesn't help you at all! Sorry.

I really wouldn't worry too much yet hun, I was a little worried about Thomas a while back as he sounds exactly like C - great away from home but extremely possessive within his own environment.

Anyway I have been reading a book recently that makes a hell of a lot of sense - 'How not to F*** them up' by Oliver James. He is a child psychologist and is adamant that children under 3 don't need to socialise with children their own age and are much more comfortable in the company of adults and older children. He also says that children under 3 are mentally incapable of sharing (understanding the concept) they can be taught to hand things over but they wont understand why and will generally get upset.

I was initially skeptical as I'm not usually into books but I have noticed in the last week or so that Thomas is actually starting to pick up on my stressing the 'sharing' thing with Hannah. He initially objects but then corrects himself and says 'no no must share with baby' and gives her the disputed item (only allows her 5 seconds access and wants it back but its progress and shows he is learning ). He will be 3 in 5 weeks so maybe there is something in it?

The problem I have now (and you will have soon too) is having one toddler that will attempt to share and one that can't (too young) - STRESS!!!

xx

Thats C to a tee, she adores adults and will play with my friends boys of 6 8 and 9 happy as a clam but shes bored by kids her own age i think

More and more im finding shes happy in her own little world. Shes now decided awens a baby postman and if you ask why she says because she has a bag of letters and holds up the (admittedly invisible) bag. She is even possesive of Awen. She goes nuts if kids touch her. Im not sure if its love or she just regards Awen as a small mobile toy of hers. But i guess Ive just gotta give her time. , I do try and discourage the possesiveness and tell her to share but it just winds her up further so i end up using distraction, hence the imagination is becoming handy

elijah couldn't care less who is or isn't there unless he is hungry or tired - having said that if an adult appears and he isnt expecting it he does freak out and get very upset but only briefly. as for other toddlers he pokes them and they poke him then they go their seperate ways he aint bothered either way.....not sure about sharing though as we haven't really had anyone round, he did get a bit tetchy with arwyn though and decided he wanted whatever she had.

he is quite a lot younger than C though and i truly dont believe he has any idea what sharing is just yet.