Well..my son announced to the world that he and his gf are now engaged! Gimme a break! Considering we helped finance the "promise ring" (was suppose to be just that) for a Chrimbo present(was to wait till then), me thinks I should call in the repo men to have it given back to us! At first I laughed at his declaration thinking it was just one of those momemnts where his brain was flooded with endorphines/testosterone, but he seems to be dead serious about it. Told him I will not support an engagement, as he is clueless to what it means. I do like his gf, but she is all consuming of him, and now he does absolutely nothing with his friends..and has even stopping writing/recording his rap music. She even hijacks his facebook and abuses his friends who invite him out. Just getting concerned about this one! My son appears to be P-whipped!

Hmmmm, doesnt sound very good.

But, there isnt going to be much you can do unfortunately.

He will realise in his own time. His mates wont go anywhere and will be there when it all goes wrong.

x

i think it will fizzle out , ok no maybe not fizzle out it may end quite badly but i cant see them making it to the white church on the hill
do you think in time he will begin to realise he misses his mates and doing matey things ?( maybe you could discreetly sort this out ) , he will prob get pissed off with her before long
is this his first love ? how long have they been together ? how old are they ?
jen i would not shoot him down on this or show him just how against this you are , he will only rebel and defy you just to prove a point ( a wrong one at that )

yes i do believe that first loves can make it in life but not when one seems to be a bit on the possessive side

The thing is..I really do like this girl..she's been good for my son as far as keeping him on the straight and narrow. His grades have improved..he's smartened up, but they act like an old married couple..minus the responsibilities! I tried explaining him to the seriousness of a engaged commitment, what it means to make a promise that huge, and at their age they just can't even begin to fathom what it entails. I don't want it to fizzle out, but I don't want them to jump into anything incredibly serious so quickly, they have only been dating about 4-5 months. She is First Nations, comes from a very well known family in town, and some of them dangerous. She resides out on the reservation with her mom, and sister, but has had some family troubles recently, which freaks me out. For a non status person to even go out to the Rez is a gamble. It's scary driving her home at night. Worried that we would get any fall out should they split non amicably, or if her family flips about her being engaged to a "whitey". Matt eats sleeps and breathes this girl..and she knows it. She is not even 16 yet, but I can already see a concerning control issue with her when it comes to Matt. Usually I don't get involved in his romance's as they don't last, but this time it's different as he's never avoided his friends or would put up with anyone verbally abusing them or passing out his fb password. She's even taken his phone, a phone we pay for. She's even managed to hack Maddy's fb a couple times. So..you can sorta see my dilemma, she's good for him..but not...and doesn't know her place when it comes to being in my home. She's even tried to tell me how to cook dinner once! LOL..you should of seen Matt's and Shayne's face when she did..thought I was gonna go "Hand that Rocks the Cradle" nuts on her! God..teens are the biggest pain in the ass stress! Roll on move out day!!! PS..I told them both if he knocks her up..he is out on his arse! x

I can see your dilemma Jen..In some respects she's good..but omg, I think i'd have put her in her place by now lol..she's got his phone?? that you pay for??? She's hacking into fb accounts that aren't her's??

Tbh, 4-5mths isn't long at all and I think they will probably both get bored before anything happens with regards to weddings etc.

Did he propose then? or did she just get the wrong end of the stick when he got her the ring??

are you sure there isn't already a baba on the way??? its a really tricky one, you dont want to push him further away but she sounds like a proper nutjob in the making!! ugh......teenagers.................uuughhhhhhhhhh

jen as she is so young could you maybe speak to the parents of the girl and just say to them that you do really like her but you are worried about them being to young x

I wouldnt worry to much, doubt they will make it down the aisle! How would they pay for it for starters????

Id let it run its course but encourage matt to stand up for himself in the meantime and not let her take his possessions/control him. If it was maddys boyf in 8 yrs time taking her phone and slagging her friends you would prob be seriously worried and it would be classed as the start of domestic violence by many ppl. Id try and explain to him that this isnt normal behaviours in a happy relationship and that while you dont want for them to split you just think they need to work these 'little' (or not so little!) problems out before they go dress shopping

I really hope its one of those things that matt will look back on in 10 years time and cringe about! Hoepfully by then he will have graduated and be engaged to someone he meets 5 yrs in the future. Teenage engagements are quite common I think and only a teeny proportion come to anything. I dont think it will cheapen any future engagements matt has, just make him feel like a bit of a knob lol!

Thanks girls..am hoping you are right..and OMG, there better not be a bubs on the way!!! Yes..he did propose, and even when I talked to him, he said...well you and dad got together at 19..so what's the difference. I told him the difference..we were a hell of a lot more mature and both living out on our own paying rent, bills, and working full time. None of those things even apply to Matt. She goes away for the holidays for a week or so, so am hoping they cool it abit, and if not..she goes to NYC this summer to model for 2 months, and at their age, any type of break like that usually makes a young couple split. It's important for them both to keep their identity and create memories with their friends, being Matt's senior year, I want him to have all the fun with his peers as possible. For next year..it's reality time! When he's out on his own..I would be more able to swallow this. x

I dont think theres any thing you can do. Hopefully it wont last long. xx