What alternative words did you used to sing to traditional carols as a child...or even now??

I used to sing the whole Jingle Bells Batman smells...

We 3 kings of orient are, one in a taxi, one in a car, one on a scooter blowing his hooter smoking a big cigar, oh oh oh star of wonder star of night sit on a box of dynamite...

While shepherds washed their socks by night while watching BBC, the Angel of the lord came down and switched to ITV

And when we sang we wish you a merry Christmas, I used to think it said 'And we all want some frigging pudding...'

Its not a traditional carol, but we used to change the word to the Cliff Richard song 'christmas time, mistletoe and wine'....

mums on the gin, the whiskys to thin... the dogs on the fire, it pissed up the tree, what a great christmas its turned out to be!

All mine are too dirty to post and have nothing to do with Christmas! LOL