Today was my final day of maternity leave and I'm back to work tomorrow, despite the hellish first few months I'm so sad to be going back and really dont want to

I'm absolutely dreading it, not so much the going back to work but Dexter's starting nursery on wednesday which I am absolutely petrified about. Also Libby goes back to pre-school on thursday but is going everyday from then on, kind of feels like that's it, my baby girl is all grown up

Gah why cant I win the lottery and be able to stay at home or work less??

Awww hunni , I bet Dexter will love nursery, and try not to let it worry you. He is only there for 2 hours a day (im right in thinking that, arent I?), so he will have a quick play and be home before you know it.

Im sure the thought of going back is worse than actually doing it and the time will fly by x

I know Laura, logically I know I'm being really silly and I'm very lucky in that he is only going for 2 hours a day - its just the thought of strangers looking after my baby, absolutely hate the thought of it (I even struggled 'letting go' of Libby when she started pre school).

I just burst into tears and Simon didnt know what the hell was wrong with me, frigging time of the month isnt helping matters

Ah sorry hun. I hated the thought of going back to work, especially as I was going back full time, but actually I enjoy it and Jamie loves nursery or being with my family. Admittedly its easier for us because his with my family two days and at my best friends nursery the other three. I'm sure the thought of it will be far worse than actually doing it.

I totally see where you are coming from hun. Nobody other than family looked after Aimee until she went to pre school in September. I was ready for her to go then, and trust the staff with her and she adores them.

But, I would also feel the same as you do about leaving Dexter, I would hate leaving Lily too .

I hope the time goes super duper fast xx

I had only ever left Libby with a very close friend when I had Dexter so for a few hours before she started preschool. Thankfully she LOVES preschool and asks every day if shes going so she is going to love going every day it just feels like there's no going back, preschool now then big school - hard to explain but it's all gone so quickly.

With Dexter I was bursting to work some hours when he was at his worst just to give me a break but now he is so much easier (bar being ridiculously clingy), I just wish I could spend more time with him now as I know how quick it's gone with Libby and how quickly these last 9 months have gone.

It's got to be done though, unfortunately.

I know how u feel hun. I felt the same when i went back to work and alfie was agt nursery for 2 days a week. but he loves it so much. its better that they become more social with kids their own age and it might help with his clingyness. im sure that he will be fine and u will love going back to work x

Aw hon i know you arent looking forward to it and wish I could come give you a huge hug. i know its not going to be easy but try not to see the negatives too much if you can. I was dreading going back to work and leaving my kids for 13 hours overnight or missing their bedtimes/getting up.

But a few months down the line I am so glad not to be a SAHM. Whilst its true that Im permenantly exhausted from spending all my spare time tryig to make up for what I miss both with the kids and round the house while im at work but at work im not just Mummy. I have a professional opinion and a job im good at other than Mummy stuff, Im part of a team and I get to spend my shift enjoying talking to people about things other than cbeebies and toystory. And I get the best of both worlds. When works driving me crazy cos of the politics and pressure I can think sod it im outta here to my gorgeous girls soon and when they are being lil toads at home I can think ah well night shift tonight Neils on duty and by the morning it will be forgotten. I enjoy them more now for having that little break. And i do miss bedtimes and getting up with them sometimes but when I walk past the living room window and see C jumping up and down and running down the hall to hug and kiss my legs or Awen throwing herself out of daddys arms to get to me for cuddles its all worth it. I even feel ive struck enough balance now to start trying to aim for a sisters post in a year and am doig some side work to bulk out the gaps in my cv in prep like the audits and education stuff. I just dont let it impinge on my time with the kids. Im still a mummy first and a nurse second, its just the second lets me do the fist without going crazy

I dont know if thats of any help chick and I just hope it gets easier for you. As for nursery im sure D will love it, you know how much Libs adores her school and it will do wonders for them both with socialisation and enjoying themselves

Big hugs

I can't believe Dexter is 9 months, wow that seems to have gone so quickly! Waiting to go back is worse than actually doing it. I'm sure you will all love being in your new routine. I do understand what you mean about the preschool, then moving onto big school. Immy will start school this year, and whilst i know she is so ready for it i am in no way to let her go! Feel very sad thinking how quickly time has gone.

I'm sure you will come on here tomorrow night and tell us how it wasn't anywhere near as bad as you expected! x x x

aww i really feel for you, i only escaped it by the skin of my teeth. i hope tomorrow goes ok and like the other ladies say, you find it isn't that bad being back xxx

I really feel for you, I'm already dreading going back to work in september! Hope it goes ok xxxx

Aww hunni, I can only imagine how your feeling I'm sure it'll be ok after you've got that first week ou of the way. I was like you and had never left Oliver with anyone other than his dad before so for him starting pre school was a huge thing for me. I'm having to go through it all again on Wednesday as he'll be doing the whole 15hrs a week and they've switched it from afternoons to mornings

Sending you huge hugs suse. I'm sure after the first few days and knowing the little man has settled in ok you'll love the feeling even more when you can pick your kiddies up and take them home and have lots of cuddles. Makes you forgets all those wingey, tantrum, screaming moments.

Aww Hun I can't really share any words of wisdom having never been through it. I know when my time comes I will be exactly the same. Will be thinking of you and sending big hugs xx

Im so lucky I didnt have to go back when Caitlin was under a year and only then worked PT/shifts and my mum/MIL could take her. Id have been anxious in your situation too im sure.

The first few weeks will be tough but I know once I got settled into routine of work i began to enjoy being me again & hopefully you will to - if that fails just think of the money and how you working means you can afford nice things/opportunities/security for the kids.

Cant really say much more, im sure libby and dexter will have a ball playing and it will make the time you have together all the more precious. Hope dexter settles well. xxx

Arrh hun hope it goes well today, i am sure dexter will be fine.

Char

Thanks so much ladies!!

I'm sure once things have settled and I know Dexter is OK (hopefully) at nursery it'll become normal and I wont give it a second thought, it's all just so daunting at the moment.

xxxx