| To smack or not to smack? | |
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DonnaAdmin
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Wakefield Posts : 3100
About Me! My Name: Donna Status: Mummy Number of Children: 0
| Subject: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:36 am | |
| What are your thoughts on smacking. Should you never smack a child or do you think a tap on the hand does no harm? Does smacking your child learn them smacking is ok? |
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Jade
Age : 40 Join date : 2010-09-07 Location : Cyprus Posts : 3594
About Me! My Name: Jade Status: Pregnant Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 3:56 am | |
| definately smacking... well like a smack on the hand or a little tap on the bum. I wasn't smacked because I wasn't naughty but the one time I did get into trouble (which wasn't actually my fault anyway) I got a tiny smack on my hand and I was sooooo upset about it I was extra good. I don't think it teaches them anything abd other than that what they're doing isn't acceptable. obviously whacking isn't right and I hate seeing parents whacking and screaming at their kids but a little tap is perfectly acceptable! |
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Amandaplus2
Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Preston, Lancs Posts : 2228
About Me! My Name: Amanda Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:30 am | |
| I would like to think I will never smack my children as I think they can then learn that behaviour and think its ok. |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:44 am | |
| i was brought up knowing what a good kick up the back side was, thats for sure ! i keep changing my mind on the smacking thing. recently alasdair has been so evil to me, nipping and slapping and being down right nasty! on 2 occasions in an angry relfey after being bitten on the face i smacked his bare leg.... id just changed his nappy so he had no trousers on ne ways! he hasnt bit my face since but does it to my clothes same with always slapping me and laughing in my face cause he thinks is so funny. iv yet to smack him thou but sometimes i do wonder... if i skelpt ur back side would it stop ! but then i think. naaah it never stopped me being a wee shite |
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stephandhannah
Age : 38 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : Glasgow Posts : 1615
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:48 am | |
| I think it depends on the child - a more sensitive child would see a smack as a bad thing and would never be naughty again - although a spirited child may see it as a game/way to get their parents going.
I dont smack. Ive smacked once and it was because hannah tried to throw herself down the stairs and it was out of shock.
also at a friends little girls birthday party hannah was up on the dancefloor dancing and playing by herself and im sitting at the side smiling like a loon because she was just too beautiful for words and this little brat runs up and smacks her right across the face - hannah was fine just looked a little shocked and I was about to say to the boy now thats not nice bla bla bla and his mum runs up and smacks him really really hard about 4/5 times. he then runs off and smacks another child. mmm wonder where he got that behaviour from |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:49 am | |
| I was smacked a lot as a child and it hasnt done me any harm, i think i had a great upbringing and my mum is my best friend now. However i can never see myself smacking Tayla, i dont think it teaches them anything other than hitting is acceptable behaviour 'if mummy does it to me i can do it to other children at nursery'
Last edited by Farz on Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:50 am; edited 1 time in total |
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DonnaAdmin
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Wakefield Posts : 3100
About Me! My Name: Donna Status: Mummy Number of Children: 0
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:50 am | |
| TBH i very very rarely smack the kids and even then its only a warning. The older ones usually get threatened with it but i think i would hurt myself more than them if i did it! I did start tapping Sams hand but now everytime i tell him off he smacks me so all its taught him is to smack |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:56 am | |
| my psychiatrist seems to think that half my anger and lashing out is because its the only way iv been programmed to react. thru violence. because i grew up in a violent environment its my "normal"
i have the opinion of the monkey see monkey do. thats what puts me off smacking. i use the time out step, taking the ds away or no tv at the weekend.... but then there is times when i think.. omg u little bugger i will belt u one of these days! (dramatisation)
Last edited by lauraplus5 on Wed Sep 08, 2010 7:47 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : in case it was taken wrong) |
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LisaAdmin
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-15 Location : Shropshire Posts : 8964
About Me! My Name: Lisa Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 7:45 am | |
| I think a smack on the hand is okay, I have done it to Izzy - and felt bad BUT it worked!
The time I did it was when she would scratch and pinch my bare legs - it REALLY hurt, and no amount of picking her up and moving worked, and I wasn't going to sit there and let her keep coming back to pull my skin off, so I took her hand in mine and smacked it, quite hard! She first scowled at me, huffed and crawled off. I am pretty sure she didn't cry
I will not hit or whip though, I was smacked/hit on the bum, and whipped on the bum, it did me no harm but no way would I do that. |
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SuziandGracie
Age : 40 Join date : 2010-08-22 Location : Aldershot, Hants Posts : 1920
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:32 am | |
| i think a small tap is fine and now i just have to say do you want a smacked bum (obviously padded) so the little monkey now smacks her own bum and then stops being naughty / doing what she shouldnt Marc and his brother used to get the leather belt accross a bare backside and his sister would get a hairbrush and he still says now its done him no harm and he knows whats right and wrong and has done from a very early age due to the discapline that he had x (although gracie or the next child will never have that) |
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Mrs Cruise & Dee
Age : 43 Join date : 2010-08-15 Location : dreamland ! Posts : 5016
About Me! My Name: Status: Mummy Number of Children: 3
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:21 am | |
| my older ones have had smacks on the hand or the fatty part on back of legs but once my oldest turned as i was about to amck him and i got him in the family region now i just ground and confiscate things but they are older and detest me doing this if danielle deserves it she will get a smack on the hand but i could never whip /hit a child with a heavy hand |
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Mario
Join date : 2010-08-16 Posts : 6252
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:45 pm | |
| I can count on the fingers of my hands how many times i was ever smacked, i was always grounded or removal of priveleges. Im not sure on the smacking. I tend to this if you smack you teach a LO that its ok to hit people. With c ive started using the naughty step or removing her from what shes doing firmly and so far it seems to work. But then i know in the future i may have to modify what im doing but will always try to be strict without resorting to smacking |
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gemz
Age : 104 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : doncaster Posts : 3520
About Me! My Name: gemma Status: Daddy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:25 pm | |
| as tempted as iv been to throttle my childre and throw them out the window i have so far resisted i have smacked leo's bum before, out of total shock because he ran out into the road after a ballon, i dont know who was more shcoked me or him, but tbh iv never really had to because threat of the naughty step usually works. i have wonderd latley if i should start to tap oliver on the hand as he's getting a bugger for climbing on the tv and wacking it and no amount of taking him away and saying no etc is making the slightest bit of difference x |
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Laura
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Northampton Posts : 6084
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Thu Sep 09, 2010 12:14 am | |
| I think it depends on the situation tbh. I would never smack Aimee enough to hurt her, but I do agree that sometimes there is simply no other option. There have been times since being pg where she has kicked me in the stomach while having her nappy changed and she wont stop, so I have had to tap her leg, certainly not hard enough to leave a mark or anything though (or even make her cry). Aimee tends to respond to being told 'no' most of the time so we have rarely been in a situation where we have had to do it. x |
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jenshayne
Age : 54 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Canuckville Posts : 3290
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Thu Sep 09, 2010 6:33 am | |
| I was spanked as a child..and I think I turned out ok, but looking back..it really never taught me anything but fear of my parents. I do smack hands or a tap on the bum to get their attention if they are doing something unsafe like playing with electrical cords or trying to break something. I think it's completely up to the parent..what works for them, and no gov't should intervene on how parents chose to discipline their kids. |
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CarlaAndCallum
Age : 37 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Essex Posts : 4673
About Me! My Name: Carla Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Thu Sep 09, 2010 10:25 pm | |
| I dont remember gettin smacked as a child tbh x But i have tapped callums bum couple of times where is nappy is he doesnt take a blind bit of notice xx |
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kab
Join date : 2010-08-19 Posts : 3642
About Me! My Name: Status: Number of Children:
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Fri Sep 10, 2010 12:50 am | |
| Rowan had his hand tapped. once when he would not let go of the cat and it was screeching in pain and would could not un clasp rowans hand off of him.
and he got on monday night when he pulled a plate of the kitchen top then came in and threw it at me twice!!!. first time he got the naughty corner the second time a tap on the hand. |
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xemplus2x
Age : 39 Join date : 2010-08-31 Location : wales Posts : 1731
About Me! My Name: Emma Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:50 am | |
| I had many smacked bums as a Kid. but like most of you depends on the situation and the child really. I have smacked lillie few times, like a tap on the hand or tap on the tops of the legs when changing her like laura kicking me in belly or just being an utter wriggler and wont let me change her. she generaly does respond to it. but I feel awful when out nad about and know I need to give her a little tap but so worried what people will think. but then when shes lost her temper and rolling around the floor kicking and screaming, and hitting out at me, know theres no point then as 1 im just doing the same back to her which im telling her off for. and 2 she responds better to be left alone. such a hard one really x x |
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LitaAdmin
Age : 39 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Shropshire Posts : 1780
About Me! My Name: Lita Status: Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:07 am | |
| I have already tapped Ollie's hand a few times when he is touching stuff he shouldn't be and has been told no and removed from the object already. He has learnt now that if I raise my hand then he'd better move his rapidly. I was slapped severly by my stepdad practically every day for 10 years (I wasn't even naughty!)aswell as other stuff but that's a different story and even now seeing kids get wacked makes me well up . Hand tapping is as far as I intend to go with Ollie. |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:55 pm | |
| I was smacked far too often particularly as an older child/ teenager. It was always out of frustration when my mum or dad ran out of words in an argument and I can see the same trait in myself now with OH that I have to work hard to control. I used to say to my dad that if he wanted my respect he needed to stop reverting to smacking me. I won't be smacking Wil unless it is a reaction to stop him harming himself, e.g. a quick tap on the hand to stop him touching something hot, and I can't get the words out fast enough to stop him. I use ignoring with Wil to stop bad behaviour and so far it works. |
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Amy
Age : 37 Join date : 2010-09-05 Location : Sunderland Posts : 2579
About Me! My Name: Amy Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:02 am | |
| I have never been smacked a child. Altho i was never a naughty girl, the times when i did push my luck my mam used a certain tone of voice and i knew i was bad.
Im hoping i will never have to smack alfie but guess i will never know until im in that situation. I dont think theres anything wrong with a tap on the hand tho. x |
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xx maxi xx
Age : 38 Join date : 2010-09-07 Location : home Posts : 242
| Subject: Re: To smack or not to smack? Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:31 am | |
| For me its to not smack, yes i was smacked as a child and i turned out okay but i think there are better ways to deal with a naughty child, naughty step, reward charts etc...jusy my opinion though |
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