While talking about christenings, what do you think about getting married in a church if you are not religious?

Personally, we got married in a church because it was in my OH's family's history and it was important to him... and, yes, it was very very pretty (dont shoot me down, just being honest!).

We are not religious, and I dont feel guilty for getting married in a church because we had to pay £500 to the church, so they didnt do too badly out of it.

The vicar wasnt bothered either.

What are your views?

LOL! Shite disturber! Ok..this is MY view..so put away your beating sticks! Pretty much the same thing applies..vows taken in front of clergy..in the house of God(not Gaga), you may not be religious, but I am pretty sure you took your vows seriously based on the Christian tradition of marriage. The vows were to love, honor and cherish(they removed obey thank goodness), to love in sickness and in health, forsaking all others...etc.. Those things you do whether you are a believer or not, and following those vows you are keeping your commitment to your spouse and to God. We were married in an Anglican church, and the minister was wonderful..she understood that Shayne wasn't quite there as far as becoming a full on Christian, but she made sure he understood the commitment of marriage based on the faith. xxx

@ shite disturber! x

Like I said on the 'christening' post I think it's personal choice. We got married in a registry office because like I said we are not religious in any shape or form and I actually liked the fact that you weren't allowed any religious reference at all. I personally don't understand why people who aren't religious want to get married 'in the eyes of god' but hey, each to their own. x

i agree each to their own, my wedding was completely non religious too and we made our commitment to each other not to anyone else .

personally we did consider getting married in a church because it was so pretty!(lol) but decided against it as sam is very anti religion and i felt it was a little hypocritical of him to get married in 'gods house' when he has such strong views against it that he said he didn't want any religious referenced

if you're not bothered either way and it's a pretty church...why not! lol

I personally wouldn't ever get married in a church, I am not religious at all and i would feel like a hypocrite if i did.
I would just feel uncomfortable vowing to a 'god' and in a religious setting.

I also would never get married in a church as i am not religious. Although Lukes grandparents are very religious so the would be pissed off lol! They frown upon us because we are not married yet, thank god (excuse the pun) they dont know lukes brothers gay

I am gutted I can't get married in a church coz OH is divorced . Like I said on the Christening post - I don't attend church and I wouldn't call myself a practicing Christian but there is just something about the church that atracts me. I have been to religious and non religious ceremonies and there is just 'something' about the church that makes it just that little bit more special. I am gutted I can't have hymns at my wedding and have to chose some cheesy pop/love songs to walk down the isle to . Churches are just so beautiful and romantic too. Don't get me wrong I would love my wedding no matter where it was coz I am marrying the love of my life ( ) but if I had the choice I would deffinately be getting married in church. xx

Debs..can you get married in a non catholic church? Anglican perhaps? xx

Debs im sure you can marry in Church of England still.

Well Charles and Camilla could have got married in a church, they just chose not to

'The Church has scrapped its ban on divorcees marrying in church if their former spouses are still alive. It says priests should consider whether the couple's relationship caused the previous marriage's breakdown. Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams welcomed the wedding, saying the arrangements were in line with Church guidelines.''
and this from an Anglican website http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk/archives/001011.html

The problem I had ladies is that we are getting married in Cumbria where I come from but because I haven't lived in the parish for the last 6 years it was difficult. My Mum and Dad live right on the parish boundary of two CofE churches, the first wouldn't even entertain us - they wouldn't even consider Christening my kids. The second was ok but said we would need to be interviewed together and seperately a few times and he would then have to appeal to the Bishop for a decision and quite frankly I wasn't going to beg them to marry us. No church is that pretty . But seriously, I would have loved to marry in church, no I'm not deeply religious but I do appreciate the church and have my own version of a Christian faith. The church that Christened my kids was lovely, it is the church I was Christened in as a baby and are 150 miles outside my parish but they didn't see this as a problem as I brought up there, they are a CofE but seem to be really forward thinking and open and honest. I think if more churches were of this thinking they might encourage more people to attend. They would probably have married us but it is just too far out from the venue I have chosen and would be difficult. Ah well we have found a beautiful venue, just wish we were allowed to incorporate a little of the religious side into the service

xx

i am non religous and so is oh but my family are we both been christaind and oh was in the church we got married on... laura what church you got married in?
oh wanted to get married in that church so jj can be christain there. the vicar didn't mind we was complety religous i belive in god but not very strongly but i want to say our vows to him to show that we do love eachother and we be there for eachother in sicknees and health etc. our vicar made it very very personally which was lovely.

i think its up to the couple that are getting married!! xx

We got married in a church. Ever since i first went to church when i was little and seen a wedding there i knew i wanted to get married in a church. Same reason as the christening post. Ive also been to a wedding in a formal venue and altho beautful there is something just so special about a church (personally for me!)

Aww Debs, had no idea it was so rigid there as far as divorce and wanting to remarry. In Canada, if you are RC you do have to request permission from the bishop, but it's done in a letter with the local priest/parish and the couple requesting the ceremony..no begging involved. The counselling part is pretty much standard in all church ceremonies..some of which was quite funny(did ours in a group setting). Had 2-3 sessions with the minister who performed the ceremony, which was pretty basic, she wanted to know who we were.

As Christians, we are taught to forgive as Jesus did us, why can't the church be as lenient as the whole foundation it is built upon. xxx

I got married in a church it was lovely....... The marriage meant f*ck all to me though! I'd kinda gone off the bloke but myum and dad had paid a fortune for it, I was pg and thought I'd best go through with it!

I also got married in a registry office, that was lovely too!

My last wedding (yep still married) was up a mountain in the ruins of an ancient monastry, that was by far the nicest and meant more to me than the others.

My mum and think a beach would be nice if I do it again - they're convinced I'm a wedding addict!

I know this sounds dumb, but I didnt realise that some churches made you vow to god, and all that jazz?!

Our vicar only mentioned god once... and even said that it didnt matter whether you were religious or not, it was about us getting married as a couple and spending our life together, not anything to do with god (at the ceremony!).

The only reference he did make, was about God being like 'Nemo' from The Matrix - that one got all of our guests laughing!

I will admit though... our vicar was a surfer dude (got married in Cornwall) who had long wavy blonde locks that he put mouse in especially for the day! lol!

x

When Adam and i got married, we married in a church, Although not religious Adam felt very strongly about it, not strongly enough to take the blessing from the priest when we had to go for our bans read and we married in my childhood village church

I was a lot more open to religion than Adam without actually practicing, when we took Alice to church to arrange her baptism at our local church the priest there was lovely, and made us very welcome and something inside Adam seemed to click.

Since Alices baptism we have both been confirmed into the church, and when Edith is baptised it will be in the sunday mass with all the congregation there and not just our families and friends.

We have a more difficult job in choosing god parents this time around tho as we both want someone who will help Edith grow spiritually and so would like to choose someone with the same beliefs as us and its proving very difficult!
Of Alice godparents only 1 was baptised themselves (we lied in front of the big guy!) and we also asked that they take time to spend with Alice has she grows, the only one who does is my sister (who hasnt been baptised) and thats disappointing too. when you choose godparents you want them to be in your childs life.

I chose not to get married in church as neil is atheist. I have some beliefs and am an infrequent church attender though im not rabid about it as thats a whole other bugbear of mine. But i couldnt feel comfortable with standing in a church getting married knowing the guy beside me thinks god is an anagram of dog. It felt wrong so i took the choice to have a compromise. We had a civil ceremoney on a beach in scotland and i have an unsecured promise to have a blessing ceremony done at some as yet unnamed point in the future (its been 3 years now so maybe 5 or 10)

i am getting married in a church, as some of the other ladies have said, its just something about the church that makes it feel that liltte bit more special for me.
i wouldnt say i devoted christian, but i believe in god in a sense and i believe in a lot of the christian views and ways, so i class my self as chirstian, just do not take the bible literally - although i do believe if more people followed its teachings this world would be a much better place!
but yeah for me its just feels like a "proper" wedding if its in a church, i have never been christened, my parents basically couldnt be bothered lol, but my 3, or 4 by the time i get married, are all being christened at out wedding, like a whoel family ceremony, coz as well as me and OH getting married for me its about becoming a proper family if that makes sense?

debs, even if you have a civil ceremony you can have a blessing in a church, my dad n stepmum did. my dad was divorced from my mum, and my stepmum - well her marriage to my dad is her 5th!? but the vicar said if it was just the one divorce he would do it, but having 4 divorces he wouldnt - which i think is fair enough, so they got married in a registry office without anyone knowing (except the witnesses which i was one) in the morning and then had a blessing in the church later on, and no1 noticed the difference!!! they had to say the same vows, the ONLY difference was that instead of the vicar sayin "will/do you take..." he said "you have taken..."
xXx