I was up all night thinking - and came to the conclusion that me doing full time education and having to work (even then we were £600 a month or so worse off which is hard to save over a month)

Dan and I fell out last week cos I was moaning at him for working too much, not spending enough time with me and Izzy- yet I have stopped work for college - so I am compounding the problem Also we need a new car this week, so more money out and I'm earning peanuts

I wasn't seeing Izzy much cos even though full time college is just 15 hours it is spread over 4.5 whole days, and then I was working 3 nights after that too - so hardly getting to see her - in fact it was like working more than full time with just Wednesday afternoons free and 2 week nights free!

I felt a bit stupid this morning admitting to Dan that I was making the situation worse, and he said 'I did wonder' - poor sod!

I am looking into carrying on my photography studies, not sure how and where, and it may have to go back to the original plan of waiting til Izzy is in school

Im a bit sad

Aww lisa! Does that mean youre going to quit your course possibly? Is there no way you could muddle through for a year or 2. You will reap the rewards when you are done...

Is there no night classes you could do instead of being commited to college mon-fri daytime? Do the open university do anything that you could do at home at your own pace?

Youre a smart cookie though, im sure you will look into all possibilities. It would be a shame to have to delay it till izzies at school, but if it makes you and Izzy happier at the moment its the right decision. x

Well I could muddle through, miss 2 years of Izzys growing up, end up bankrupt & single!

I'm looking into a night course though

I don't know, its just so hard not having enough money (my earnings were enough to cover rent and council tax so its a lot to lose) and not seeing Izzy all week :-(

my college dont do courses other the basic ones, so thats no good, have found a few independant places that do diplomas in photography as home learning - so I'm looking into those right now

I thought about going down to just 2 a levels ,graphics and photography, which would be 8 hours - buts its still spread out over 4 days just with more space between - so not much better

why cant things be easy

Aww i'm sorry Lisa, Its a shame you may have to give up but its not forever.

Could you get your old job back? or even a new one? I can imagine you stopping work has put a strain on things for you guys.

I really hope you have the opportunity to do a diploma if possible.

Your not alone with having to make changes and thinking you've made a mistake, Me and Oh have been talking about our future and it has to be put on hold while i study because we wouldn't be able to afford it if i'm not working.

I've changed some of my lessons to evenings as and am going to muddle through for the year course then re evaluate things then!
Hope you, Dan and Izzy are all ok! x

Kell wrote:

Aww i'm sorry Lisa, Its a shame you may have to give up but its not forever.

Could you get your old job back? or even a new one? I can imagine you stopping work has put a strain on things for you guys.

I really hope you have the opportunity to do a diploma if possible.

Your not alone with having to make changes and thinking you've made a mistake, Me and Oh have been talking about our future and it has to be put on hold while i study because we wouldn't be able to afford it if i'm not working.

I've changed some of my lessons to evenings as and am going to muddle through for the year course then re evaluate things then!
Hope you, Dan and Izzy are all ok! x

I don't want my old job back - I hated it! I am only doing 7 hours work a week at the minute, so will just find something else to make it up to about 19 what I was doing

I didn't realise you'd had to move to night courses too - its so hard missing them in the day isn't it - its worse for Izzy though because she refuses to sleep at MILs and nursery so when I pick her up at 5 she goes to bed and sleeps til 8 then up for a short time and back to bed :-(
Hope your night course goes well!
x

Yeh your right its difficult, when i leave charlie he cries his eyes out, It breaks my heart, i know he's ok but still. He doesn't sleep so well with other people either so i know your frustrations. He either sleeps when i collect him or he's a grump lol

I'm starting the evening classes this week so we will see, Its probably gonna be tiring but it means i have three days at home, Charlie tends to go to bed at 6.30 so it should work out ok.

Will you loose alot of money from fee's if you do leave? I hope not, i hope they can help you out getting some back!
x

Hope you manage to find a course that fits in with your life better, it's ridiculous how spread out your lectures must be though!

I will lose the fees, but its not the end of the world, I have paid it and that's money gone already...

What a bummer.

Im sorry its not working out though hun.

Hopefully you will find something that will suit you all and mean you wont get to miss out on Izzy so much too x

Lisa - I'm sorry to hear it's not working out. They tell you all about the sleepless nights and stretchmarks etc in the books, but no one tells you about this side of motherhood.

I too am caught in a hard place as I hate my job and wish I could be a SAHM but we need the extra money.

At least you know that at some point you may be able to go back to college and do what you wanted to do.

xx

Its sad isnt it Paula - to provide out family with what they need we cant be there for them!
Its a vicious circle! If we didn't work we'd have to have a smaller house, probably no car, no holidays, worry about keeping the house warm!

Im sorry to hear this Lisa I was so chuffed for you being able to make the break in a way id love to do. But i totally get what you mean about missing Izzy so badly thats why i do my night shifts when it makes me so exhausted and id prefer days really, i still miss C with every breath i take but i know shes sleeping and im not missing out so i stick at it.

You will do whats right for you and Dan and Izzy and when the time is right will be able to go back if needed, its not forever and like me you need to just keep telling yourself you are young yet even if you dont always feel it (!)and have a long time yet to make big changes. Short term neccesities for the kiddies hon

Big hugs xxx

Awww Lisa! Just mirroring everything the ladies have said. Knew how important this was for you and because you are such a loving and wonderful lady..you sacrificed this for the greater good for everyone. Make sure you do go back and get what's yours when the time is right! Giant huggles to you! xxx

By the sounds of it, you doing way to much. give yourself a break and enjoy Issy, before she grows up too quickly. Sorry hun xx

awww Lisa, thats a shame. yeh you cant do right for doing wrong eh? hope something else comes along that fits in with everything xx

Lisa wrote:

Its sad isnt it Paula - to provide out family with what they need we cant be there for them!
Its a vicious circle! If we didn't work we'd have to have a smaller house, probably no car, no holidays, worry about keeping the house warm!

lisa - it's just poop!!!! i only work p/t and when i have paid the childcare there isn't that much left, but having a mortgage means that we need the bit of money I do get. We have 2 cars, but they are 02 plates, and we only live in a 2 bed terraced house.

xx