Sorry girls, just a rant, spoke to my mum earlier it seems my dad has 'befriended' a woman from work and despite my mum asking him to stop contact with her he has continued to do so, he claims nothing sexual has happened but this morning has said he loves this woman and my mum is now deciding whether she should kick him out!

35 years they have been married, this woman is a year younger than me, and a complete troll (have seen her fb pic)

i just cant believe he has been such a tit! i am not even angry at the moment just so so disappointed as its against everything he has ever drilled into us!

no need to reply just needed to get it out as i havent been able to see my mum yet

what an arsehole!

so he thinks loves her and is throwing away everything he has...it wont be long before she finds another sucker and he comes with his tail between his legs back to your poor mum

Oh no Jo!!! What on earth is he thinking!!! Do you think maybe its just a passing faze/midlife crisis type thing?

I really hope they can sort it out, 35 years is a long time to just throw away

Unreal! Just sick for you mum and you! I would kick him out and then take him for everything he is worth plus future earnings..see how attractive the new woman finds him when hes near penniless! Frikken home wreckers!! xxx

Oh Jo that's just awful! Your poor mum! I hope he comes to his senses and stops being a fool x

Sorry if I was harsh Jo! Just seen this too many times with family members...how it totally devastates everyone.

your poor mum!!

i hope to god he stops thinking with his pecker and realises what he's going to lose!

how crap!
Your poor mum, hope she gets the upper hand!!!
x

I am not sure if sorting it out is the right thing, mum asked him to stop contact months ago and he hasn't, for me he should have to deal with the consequences of his actions!

I just don't know what to think, my sister wants nothing more to do with him whther they sort it out or not!

oh no!! your poor mum, is he having a midlife crisis or something? have you talked to him? hope it all gets sorted (if i was your mum i would def kick him out!!) hugs hun xxxx

hi hun i am sorry your mum is going throught htis 14 yers ago my mum and dad went through this and on the day that my mum actually phoned him at work and told him to leave (it was the kick up the arse he needed) he came home and begged for another chance and they are still together now and never happier xx

I am sending you and your mum a big hug xxx

What a prat! Middle aged men what can I say. I think this might just be your dad in the fairly near future

Its crazy!
she is married too but he has kicked her out on finding out.

I am just not sure what i think they should do, he seems to attract damsels in distress this is the 2nd one but this has been going on all the time i have been pregnant, i have known snippets from my sister but i havent been told it all as they didnt want to worry me.

i just cant believe he is being such an idiot! it makes no difference sexual or not to me, if it was enough for my mum to feel threatened and him to feel he had to lie then its enough to chuck his ass out.
stupid stupid man!

Ahhh sorry to hear this JO - men are so silly sometimes. I am sure he thinks he loves her now as she is young etc and its all exciting and new but he is obviously not considering what he has at home. Tbh I think youyr mum should tell him to clear off! Hope you are ok x

What a pillock!

How is your mum feeling? She must be devastated!

I am sure it is a midlife crisis thing. My mum went through a similar thing a few years ago, where she wanted to get in touch with an old boyfriend from school. I told her straight that if she even thought about it, and hurt my step dad, then I was out of her life for good. Luckily, she listened.

I really hope your dad doesnt make a huge mistake x

Sorry to hear this Jo. Id be inclined to say your mum should just tell your dad to piss off. It will be tough for her after 35 years, but personally id prefer to be with someone I trusted 100% rather than always worrying they were going to stray again. I think it would eat away at me and even if the other person didnt stray again Id end up arguing constantly and checking up obsessively...

Your mum could maybe meet someone else in a couple/months years. My MIL has discovered the joy of internet dating (I did find it amusing at 1st), and although not been in a relationship she is enjoying weekly dinner dates and meeting new people.

It must be hard for you and your sis, almost having to take sides. If they do split in the future I think you will be able to manage this. I know a few people who's parents split in their 50's and after the 1st year they had a pretty balanced relationship with both parents. Your dad has hurt you all but I sometimes think relationships are between parents and it shouldnt impact on children... be them kids or adults. If he was a good dad to you id hope he would still be able to regardless of whether he is still with your mum

This advice might even be necessary, your mum might take him back. I suppose its only them that can decide...

Hugs xxx

Your poor mum, why would he feel the need to do that after all these years of marriage!

Oh ur poor mum how awfull Hope shes ok x i agree he should have to deal with the consequences shouldnt get away with doing that x

Oh hon what an awful sitch for your poor mum. Your dad needs a good kick up the arse. At the very least they need a couple of weeks apart and then your mum has time to evaluate what she wants...and she gets to make that call not him and he needs the time to think about what he is losing.

But i do agree, no matter how stupid he has been he is still your dad, you dont have to take his side to still speak with him, you can let him know you are disappointed in him and angry with him but he shouldnt lose contact with his daughters because of it

As much as you can try to focus on your little family, i know you need to be there for your mum but dont overwhelm yourself you have a lot on yourself right now with your wee bundle xxx

well after speaking to my mum i kinda think she needs to kick his arse out!

the day before my nephews christening he was with her for 13 hours.
he has been meeting her in laybys!!!!!
i am sorry but you meet 'friends' in pubs or for coffee not in a fecking layby!
she and her hubby met when they were having an affair-through work- the same way my dad met her and her hubby has told my mum he remebers very well what went off when they were meeting in secret!!! she gives amazing bj's apparently!

i feel sick and am now becoming more and more angry with him.

He has just told lie after lie and the lies are starting to surface!!! he makes me sick and deserves all he fecking gets!



oh and her hubby is 53 ( my dad is 57) and looks just like my dad!

aww hun i hope it works out for the best x

Oh Hun what a terrible situation.

I really hope your mum is ok? My parents split up a couple of yers ago, they'd been together 25 years. It was completely different circumstances but my mum was a Mess for along time. They've been seperated for 4 years, and now she is in another relationship and very happy.

Have you spoke to your dad? I couldn't process it all until I'd spoken to mine and heard what he had to say, I grilled mine so bad! Made him feel like complete crap, but he deserves it!

I do have good relationships with both parents even though I feel through their divorce each has done questionable things. I've learnt that I have to leave them to fight there corners and I can't get involved!

Hope you are ok x

Why do dad's do this? Grass is never greener on the other side of the fence..grass is grass. Sure he's getting attention, and probably some good beejay's, but eventually if this progresses into a real relationship..the new found feelings fade eventually and replaced with the realism of dirty gonch and wet towels on the floor. This other woman..considering she had done this before with meeting her soon to be ex by having an office affair, sounds like she is a serial home wrecker. Big fan of Doctor Phil and one of his famous bits of advice in regards to affairs is - IF SHE DID IT WITH YOU - SHE WILL DO IT TO YOU! I feel so horrible for your mom..that betrayal..her security of raising a family..building a life together with dreams of retirement and riding off in the sunset with her spouse in her twilight years..just destroyed. Men think they discover someone who "get's them..understands them completely..." BULLSHIT! The woman that vowed to love you, who bore your children..who put your needs before her own..who sacrificed, nurtured, and went thru 25 years with you..ups, downs, and all truly knows him and understands him. Midlife crisis..whatever..a cheater is a cheater! When troubles start in a marriage..u are obligated to turn towards your spouse..and not out to others...at least give them that. The other woman is just a road side hooker as far as I'm concerned!

Thanks girls,

Jen, this is how my dad felt about men who cheat, thats what makes it so hard to comprehend! the way he is behaving is against everything he ever believed!

for years and years he has had my mum on a pedestal and all of sudden he is this guy i dont know anymore!
he is also blaming everyone but himself and hasnt yet taken responsibility for his actions! even his boss at work for changing his run (he transports adults with learning difficulties) because if they hadnt changed his run he would have only seen her in a work capacity they wouldnt have needed to meet out of work!

Just have to leave mum to decide what she wats to do

People who cheat will try to justify it in their own minds, and he would have to admit he screwed up if he stated otherwise...and I don't see that happening right away. Probably now they are huddled up and considering what to do next...leave..stay..and anyone who get's in their way will be looked upon as "trying to come between their *cough/gag* love. I do believe he will come home with his tail between his legs when the shit hits the fan..and it will now that it's all out in the open. Won't be their dirty little secret anymore and both sides of the family will make it very unpleasant for them both..killing that spark they shared. I'm sure both parties will reveal some not so "pretty" attributes now. Right now, all he is focused on is this little romantic bubble fantasy he and this other woman have created. For now hun..rally around your mom, she will need all of your support because her world has just fallen in. I hope she is ok. I just can't stand cheaters! xxx