Ok this is more for my benefit than for advice... just need to vent! Iv had such a crap day. Went to bed way too late last night & Caitlin was a bit unsettled. Got up knackered at 8 and was due at a 4th bday party at 1130. Had her breakfasted and dressed by 930, at 10am put Caitlin down for a nap and told OH I was gona lie down for hlf hr and to wake me when had finished his shower. At 11am he came in to bedroom & said he was getting shower... I went a bit psycho and was yelling at him WTF have you been doing for an hr! We have to leave in 15min, how did it take over 45 min to eat your breakfast!!! At that point he took an 'absense' (has epilepsy, kind of were his eyes flicker and he cant see/hear for a few secs), I was a bit mean then & said 'oh FGS and now you having blackouts'. Anyway then he went to shower & had a full seizure, I had to run in and try and keep a 6' 4" 15st man standing upright in a bath. Was shitting myself but managed to keep him from hitting tiles... when he came out of it he was very confused and I had to tell him how to get out of bath and put a towel around him. I do this because I love him but I have to admit it scares the hell out of me. I know by now I should be used to it but every time it happens im on auto pilot and its only after I think about what could happen. Im terrified he will seize one day and die, or hurt Caitlin by accident....
I then decided I didnt want him to come to my nephews party. He was very agressive and unreasonable about this (after a seizure people can act out of character) and told me he was going. I told him I would not be driving up a dual carriage way with him and risk him having a fit with Caitlin in car. he then told me just to go on without him and let him sleep. i didnt want to leave him alone so rang MIL to see if he could go to theirs for afternoon. He was pretty pissed at this but what could I do?
ugh, anyway went on to the party over an hr late, only stayed 20 min. While there Caitlin tripped over a few times on concrete but didnt cry. (she's such a wee dote she hardly ever does when she falls). When I got home mum called in to see if I was alright. She then started having a go at me about how I need to keep a closer eye on Caitlin to stop her tripping & said how my uncle had said that when I go to family gatherings I just switch off and expect my mum to look after Caitlin- I fucking dont!!! I just dont follow her about like a shadow. Kids fall! They apparently were bitching about how I rely to much on my mum. I ended up sobbing to my mum that I cant rely on OH and now im slated for getting a bit of help from my mum. There's constant snipes made by my cousin about how she never leaves her kids and how my mum has had Caitlin overnight half a dozen times (she leaves her kids with her hubby- I cant!!!). At family gatherings she can relax for a bit with hubby watching kids, if my mum does the same for me its sneered at. I love my OH but its bloody hard sometimes.....
Rant over.....