| I feel so ashamed of myself... | |
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stephandhannah
Age : 38 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : Glasgow Posts : 1615
| Subject: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:39 am | |
| my oh has a new job (thats the good news lol) and has to do breakfast shifts starting at 7am. with his old job the earliest he had to start was 10am. so I have always had help in the mornings getting out the door.
with his new shifts hes out the door before me and hannah are even awake and Ive realised how much help my oh actually is.
this morning the first tantrum was because she didnt want ANY of the spoons in our house to eat her breakfast with. I think she was expecting me to pull another one out of my arse. then another tantrum because she didnt want the spoon I made her have. then another because she had to wash her face and so on and so on.
I was stressed out of my mind trying to get us ready and we are eventually leaving and hannahs walking down the stairs she then starts trying to go down the stairs on her belly head first and nearly tumbled down and I was so close to hitting her. I had to stop myself and got so upset about it. then she got upset and we got to nursery and she was clinging to me and didnt want to go in.
I just feel ashamed that 1) I was going to hit her and 2) all I could think about were some of the girls I know personally and on here that get practically no help from their oh and do all this by themselves all day everyday and I couldnt even get my own TWO year old daughter dressed and out the door without wanting to hit her!
I cried all the way to work and burst out crying at one point during the day because I couldnt remember putting shoes on her! wtf? of course I put shoes on her I was just being so stupid!
having looked back at my day I realise I am actually quite lucky to not have experienced days like this before now because we have such a good routine going as a family but I feel so guilty. |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:43 am | |
| some days just work out like that!!! And about the hitting her thing i completely understand, its so hard sometimes when they wind you up so much, braden is proper testing at the moment and there has been a couple of occasions where the thought has crossed my mind, my oh does give him a tap on the bum nnow because he's started covering ditas face with quilts when she's sleeping! Your deffinately lucky to have help most the time, mornings can be so stressful! xx |
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Shell
Age : 34 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Flitwick Posts : 3732
About Me! My Name: Michelle Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:48 am | |
| Aww Hun don't feel ashamed. We all have days like that whether we have oh's help or not. I know I've got that stressed with immi before and I can't be the only one. These things happen but you are a brilliant mum, don't forget that xx |
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Kinkyangel
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Leicester Posts : 1331
About Me! My Name: Clare Status: Mummy Number of Children: 3
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:52 am | |
| Some days they pull every trick in the book to wind you up and it takes every ounce of strength you have not to slap them! But every Mum goes through it!
You have had a routine and now it's changed so it will take you a while to get used to it but you will and you will wonder why you found it so hard! I once took Aron to school with no jumper when it was freezing cause I was fed up of the messing about!!
xxxxx |
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*Meg*
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : South Wales Posts : 5152
About Me! My Name: Leah Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:54 am | |
| awww dont be hard on yourself we all get like this. these kids are sent to try us im sure she must've picked up on your stress and it probably made her more unsettled thats all. give it a few days and your new routine will settle down xx |
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Mario
Join date : 2010-08-16 Posts : 6252
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:57 am | |
| Dont beat yourself up. I seem to have done nothing but tell c off today and i think its one of those things where they have days of testing you and testing you. You didnt smack her xxx |
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DonnaAdmin
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Wakefield Posts : 3100
About Me! My Name: Donna Status: Mummy Number of Children: 0
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:15 am | |
| One of those days. You didnt hit her so forget that one (wait till shes 13 and you actually want to kill her) Have you actually been in these people houses on a morning who do it by themselves? Cause let me tell you hun they struggle, you just dont see it lol. It will get easier the more you do it. You will start getting organised and it just gets easier. You are doing what was a 2 man job on your own but you will get used to it chick. She was probs mardy cause she could feel you were stressed. Dont worry about it chick xxxxxxxxx |
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Pepper
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : In your computer Posts : 1584
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:23 am | |
| Ahh hun - I totally feel your pain, I have had days when I have litterally wanted to throw them both through a window!!! I have to completely ignore them both when they are creating and I just need to get out the of the house in the mornings. You will get your own routine sorted xx |
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jenshayne
Age : 54 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Canuckville Posts : 3290
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:29 am | |
| Ahh Steph..that is normal hun. I have swatted my older two on the bum when they scared the crap out of me..Matt-for nearly running in front of a bus on the street, and Madisyn for taking off at 2 years of age out my back door and under the fence to the wooded area. It is a gut reaction. You do feel bad after, but it gets the point across. And as far as help..most kids want their momma's anyways, so even if there is an extra set of hands floating about..they are usually useless! Hang in there missy! xxx |
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kenty
Age : 39 Join date : 2010-08-24 Location : Leeds Posts : 2260
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:33 am | |
| to be honest steph, i don't think there is a mum out there that hasn't been tempted to smack their child...it's what you do about it that counts hun!! i'm used to having sam about and when he is not there i get super stressed and they always act up worse...i think kids can sense our stress and agitation! am sure after a few days and you're more practiced at dealing with it you'll do fine and hannah with calm down too |
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SuziandGracie
Age : 40 Join date : 2010-08-22 Location : Aldershot, Hants Posts : 1920
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:39 am | |
| i will be honest there are days i could kill her and i did tap her on her nappy padded bum the other day as i had the oven on and was stood with my back to it peeling potatoes when she opened the door up it was instinc to teach her it was wrong but as soon as i had done it i scopped her up and gave her loads of cuddles she just looked at me like i was mad as she obviously hadnt felt it x |
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hopadom
Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Suffolk, UK Posts : 390
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:39 am | |
| Ah hun, don't feel bad! It's just one of those things. I am 'one of those ladies' who has 3 kids to get up and out in the morning, with no help at all. Come be a fly on my wall for the morning and you'll feel so much better about yourself, honestly. We have the occasional good day but most are filled with me rarrh, rarrh, rarrrrrhing!! You will get in to a routine. And once Hannah see's mummy won't be taken for a ride, she be more compliant! You'll see! Has Hannah met the naughty step yet? The naughty step is every mummy's friend (((((Hugs))))) x |
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Clare
Join date : 2010-09-13 Location : UK Posts : 3503
About Me! My Name: Clare Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:45 am | |
| hun i wouldnt worry about it, my health visitor often told me that if he got to much put him somewhere safe, go in the bathroom and shut the door behind you. i used to do it alot when he was younger, because he was hard work, but it meant i kept my sanitiy.
btw its the fact you didnt hit her that makes you a good mom, the thought, crikey every mom on the planet as that thought, but its what you do about it thats key.
i can understand when parents smack kids when they done something that puts them in danger, its because your worried and angry with them at same time |
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stephandhannah
Age : 38 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : Glasgow Posts : 1615
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:01 am | |
| thank you so much girls. everything you have all said means a lot.
Im going to be more prepared next time and do more planning and organising the night before. It was the spoon thing that got to me. she has to choose her bowl as well and changes her mind 30 times which is cute now am thinking about it while shes all sleeping in bed lol! x |
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Kinkyangel
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Leicester Posts : 1331
About Me! My Name: Clare Status: Mummy Number of Children: 3
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:09 am | |
| Don't get me started on spoons!! Aron has to have the same flipping spoon every day!! And usually the days we are running late we can't find it!!! Oh and it's not a spoon that i can get a duplicate of, as it's about 31 years old! Xxx |
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CarlaAndCallum
Age : 37 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Essex Posts : 4673
About Me! My Name: Carla Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:54 pm | |
| hope ur had a better morning today!x
I agree with the others we all have them days i certainly do they tend to pick days where they wanna be lilmonkeys xx |
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Claire
Age : 35 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : liverpool Posts : 1816
About Me! My Name: Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 3:41 am | |
| That's what it's like everyday for me tantrums tantrums and more bloody tantrums!!! You have nothing to be ashamed of i've had to tap Lilly on the bum a few times when she's being naughty |
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olliesmammy
Age : 34 Join date : 2010-09-13 Location : Wales Posts : 4970
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 3:45 am | |
| My sister will still only use 1 knife spoon and fork and shes 16 now |
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Laura
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Northampton Posts : 6084
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:54 am | |
| I don't think you will find a mum who hasn't been at that point at one time or another. I had a bad morning with aimee on Monday and spent the morning at work tearful.
I spent all morning texting my oh telling him what a bad mummy I was.
Don't feel guilty, you're only human x |
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stephandhannah
Age : 38 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : Glasgow Posts : 1615
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:55 am | |
| - olliesmammy wrote:
- My sister will still only use 1 knife spoon and fork and shes 16 now
oh good god please dont tell me things like that laura I did the same I was texting my oh and he was actually really supportive which was great! |
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J1
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : England Posts : 2346
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:00 am | |
| Ah Steph dont feel ashamed, they know how to push buttons, i shouted aat and almost smacked Alice the other day for not being careful around Edith and kicking her in the head (she is 18months old FGS and clumsy) and i made her cry, i have never felt so ashamed.
its an awful feeling!
hope things have been better today hun xx |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:50 pm | |
| Choices?!? I would never let any of my kids choose which spoon or dish they want! To be perfectly honest they're lucky if they get to choose what breakfast they're having. So mate in my book you're a bloody fab mummy haha my kids would love to live with you x |
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Mario
Join date : 2010-08-16 Posts : 6252
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:02 pm | |
| Lol i also pick c's brekkie at the mo. |
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EmzandFlick
Age : 37 Join date : 2010-08-19 Posts : 2251
About Me! My Name: Status: Mummy Number of Children: 1
| Subject: Re: I feel so ashamed of myself... Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:45 pm | |
| I know how you feel hun. Children are meant to push our buttons. There has been more than 1 occassion where Flick has pushed and pushed until I picked her up and put her in her cot. She screamed blue murder but it was either that or I would have probably smacked her Flick does choose her own breakfast and everyday she chooses a banana then toast and maybe a weetabix. With the cold weather coming in though I think porridge or at least warm milk in her weetabix will be good for her. Don't beat yourself up hun, you are a fab mummy and you got angry becasue you love her. There are some people out there that would have smacked her maybe worse butyou love her too much to do that and that my darling is what makes you a fab mummy. |
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