On another forum (non baby related - i'm not cheating on you all ) someone was discussing their virginity and whether to lose it to their boyfriend and people were replying saying it's a special thing, do it when you're ready etcetc. This also came up when I first started seeing Matt as he was a christian and his family believe in no sex before marriage so it was a big issue for him. So thought it would be interesting to discuss...

For me, and I don't know if i'm just a weirdo here, but I don't actually view virginity as that special. Granted I lost mine whilst wasted &i can't remember agreeing to it (it wasn't Matt!)but even before that I wasn't particularly fussed and i'm not traumatised by the fact it wasn't very special. I don't see sex as that big a deal. I'm not saying i agree with having a ton of one night stands, but if you want to sleep with someone and you're comfortable with that then fine. I actually find oral sex a lot more of a big deal.

Am I weird, what are your thoughts?

for me, mine was gone before i was even old enough to know what virginity was...so for me it's nothing special

sex is nothing special to me...i probably have a weird view on it but sex is just something you do...yeh it feels good but it's nothing amazing or special

I think its more special for a girl to keep it, than a boy. Girls are raised to keep their knees locked and boys are raised to get as much in before they get settled. Being raised Christian does make it more in the forefront, as they bombard you with biblical scripture about having sex before marriage and it's meaning. Personally..I don't see the big deal of it either, if the two ppl are old enough and are being careful, it's none of my business. xxx

In theory I agree that it is nice if two ppl meet, fall in love, lose their virginity to eachother and stay together. IMO marriage isnt even a factor, its having commitment, love and respect for eachother. I think that way stops people having regrets and jealousy/insecurities eating away at relationships.

In reality that rarely happens. I dont regret losing mine. I did it with a guy in my class at school. It just happened and we weren't even in a relationship. The only sweet thing I can draw from it is that we were born one day apart in the same hospital, my mum was in the bed beside his mum, and we had brief contact up until we were 1ish. Then we didnt see eachother until secondary and my mum worked out who he was when we were 14/15. It is a bit freaky.
Can you imagine immi losing it to a baby boy in the same ward?
It was a crap experience but I havent cried over it or wished it never happened. There are people I regret more than the person I lost my virginity to.

I agree that if two adults want to have sex then thats up to them. Also yup weirdly I would have been more freaked out at oral sex with a new partner than actual sex. Its more intimate in my eyes.

I always wanted it to be very special but I also wanted it over and done with too. I lost mine when I was 16 to a guy I had been seeing for a while but I knew I didnt love. it was ok. not really that sore and we were very sensible. I dont regret the way it happened. when I first met my oh and we were in that "crazy" about each other stage I did think how nice it would have been to lose it with the him as he was the first person I felt any love for.

no I dont see it as something special either.

It would be nice for it to be special i had mine taken frm me so i cant really comment x

Has anyone a truly magical, special and meaningful experience of losing it?? I think it's all over rated. I lost mine to someone I going out with for while but it was nothing special. It was a few years later before I started to enjoy it!

Difficult one... I would like Aimee to think that it is special and save herself for somebody who she really feels something for.

But, in all honesty, I lost mine to my boyf who I was with for about 9 months, and I cant stand the bloke now!

It is unlikely nowadays for people to stay with the person that they lost it to (very lucky people who are still together).

So, I guess I dont find it that 'special'.

x

It wasn't ever really that special to me and I 'didn't save myself' I was just too scared

In the end it's quite nice that I lost it to my hubby and that we are happily married but obviously I didn't plan it like that (I lost it at 16 and we'd been together for 3 months so marriage wasn't really on the agenda then ) xx

Laura wrote:

Difficult one... I would like Aimee to think that it is special and save herself for somebody who she really feels something for.

But, in all honesty, I lost mine to my boyf who I was with for about 9 months, and I cant stand the bloke now!

It is unlikely nowadays for people to stay with the person that they lost it to (very lucky people who are still together).

So, I guess I dont find it that 'special'.

x

I'm the same and hope that ellie waits til she finds someone she really loves (when she's 27). But in reality it's unlikely!
My eldest daughter is 20 and she a boyfriend but although they obviously do it, he has to sleep in the spare room when he sleeps over. You know it's a horrible feeling thinking/knowing that you're little girl is having sex!!! But I suppose I should be pleased that I've raised a lovely daughter who has fallen in love etc.

BabyMilly.... ooh it must be so hard 'knowing' that your daughter is having sex.

I really dont think my OH will cope when Aimee is older and gets a boyfriend!

x

I also dont think of it being that special. obv now im married - i wudnt like the fact of going off with sum1 and having affair jst for sex. i also lost mine when i was drunk an aged 15 and every1 else was doing so i did.

im still not really bothered bout it and now and dont even get me started on oral sex - it makes me feel sick!!!

I didnt see it as anything special or meaningful when I lost mine, it meant nothing then and it means nothing now when I look back on it. To be honest it was just something i wanted to get done lol. I dont think anyone can exactly enjoy losing their virginity, you are so nervous and not knowing what to expect.

Mine was with my boyfriend when I was 18 but deffinately wasn't special - I just wanted it over and done with tbh. Like Babymilly I didn't start enjoying it till a few years later.

xx

I dont want to think about hannah losing hers. but as long as she doesnt regret it and as long as shes safe then I wont mind x

I think its something you get over and done with, nothing special just get it out of the way

At the time I didn't see it as anything special or sacred..its was just sex. The person I lost mine too was also a virgin, and was all a bit of a fumbley experience.
I don't regret loosing it when I did.

Like you Shell, Oral is more of a big deal for me too..I have only ever done it with 2 people, one being my OH and the other being the relationship I was in before him for a yr.

Susan,Libby+1 wrote:

It wasn't ever really that special to me and I 'didn't save myself' I was just too scared

In the end it's quite nice that I lost it to my hubby and that we are happily married but obviously I didn't plan it like that (I lost it at 16 and we'd been together for 3 months so marriage wasn't really on the agenda then ) xx

excatly the same as me

Yes it was a very big deal for me!! i i waited, and glad i did, and it was with someone i love, sex is a big thing for me, i cant sleep with someone i dont have any feelings for x

I lost mine at 14, he was my best friend and I don't really regret it we still talk now and he'll always be special to me, he's gay now though lmao

I do think it would be nice to have lost it to my oh but it's one of those things where when you realise it's special it's already to late

I didn't think it was special at all.. I didn't save myself either and it doesn't bother me. It was so awkward and boring though!

It's funny how practically all of us don't think it's special yet it's still what everyone gets told. I think it's one of life's myths that your first is a special thing.

I don't know how i feel about Imogen one day having sex, i hope she's comfortable telling me about it though. i told my mum the next day.. mainly cause it was on her sofa so i wanted it to get cleaned lol but still we have always been comfortable talking about sex issues, i hope i can have that with Imogen.

Mine wasnt special either but i am glad that it was not with my OH, I hope this does not make me sound like a person of loose morals but i always thought i needed to sample a few before picking one to settle with otherwise how would i know i was getting good quality??

mine got taken for me... after that i was a drunken slapper and did the deed with a few guys and women and some even together...

its special to some but not to me. iv never had that view. never got the option. but having a daughter my self, i will break any ones legs that dares try to push her into anything. i will teach her best i can to respect her self. shes a strong willed lassie. hopefully not like mother like daughter.

Kate wrote:

Mine wasnt special either but i am glad that it was not with my OH, I hope this does not make me sound like a person of loose morals but i always thought i needed to sample a few before picking one to settle with otherwise how would i know i was getting good quality??

Kate you're such a wise one! That really made me laugh.
hope you found a good quality one!