Part 1

Another week another elimination and heres my opinion on this week for debate and argument

Firstly Dermot's either gained weight or thats a really poorly tailored suit, showing belly, I am disappointed in him. And a brown tie with a blue suit. Not good. Do better next week D.

Paije Richardson – hair's getting longer but still in an upwards direction ala Black Books tower of soup, I want to see him not cut it between now and the final and do a full beehive. Not totally impressed by the Inca gold dinner plate he stole off a passing tribesman for his necklace or the Butlins redcat he had stolen off someone a lil slimmer than him. Felt it was a song he warmed into, very first section not really him but by the end he warmed into it and came out very nicely by the end and did suit his voice. Also a nice change for him not to be doing upbeat stuff.

John Adeleye – more rapidly expanding hair. Not entirely sure of the need for the bun not the tin foil jacket though as somewhere a roast chicken is getting chilly. Unlike scruff boy Cardle I'd like him to put his hat back on as it suits him. Have just noticed what lovely eyes he has too. Weird. Another lovely smooth performance from him. He sings very nicely and has a lovely rich chocolatey voice, I wish I could figure out why he just doesn't excite me like some of the others because technically he is very spot on. Did have to pee myself at Simon's dogs mating analogy.

Rebecca Ferguson – Nice to see her coming out her shell a bit. Unlike last weeks disaster loved her make up and hair this week, hair esp is stunning, wish mine grew like that, odd dress however, Im sure those bustle bits are meant to be on the bum, either that or shes got a siamese twin stashed under there. She sang nicely, was very polished and was very show girl or Vegas cabaret stylee but like John she's one I would like to see actually perform as I think theres enough out there who do the whole standy still karaoke style songs and I think shes not standing out for me right now because of that. I could chop her head off and replace it with a few of the recent years hits like most of Alex Burke's stuff last year and not really notice a difference.

Cher Lloyd – OMG. Whitney needs her hair back, Tupac's had his do-rag nicked and a para somewhere is missing his trousers. I can't decide about this girl. I like that she is different and not a stand and bellow big notes diva but I look at her and think...'petulant uberchav'. Monkey walk still appears to be in evidence too. Actually really enjoyed her performance though. Very entertaining and very professional, would still listen to her over Rebecca I think.

Matt Cardle – Ooooh he plays guitar, top marks from me immediately. I like artists who are a little rounded either by playing instruments or writing their own stuff. Actually like the performance though I dont think he looked comfy squirming around on that stool like a naughty school boy waiting outside the office. But the song suited his voice and like that it wasn't too cliché but he managed to put his own spin on it. Nice outfit too, no clever cracks from me this week I liked it

One Direction – wipes the dribble off the keyboard and reminds herself she is thirty years old dammit. Actually....disappointed. Not in time, not in tune and not strongly sung. Not hopeful for them this week. Still got a space for them on my mantlepiece though. Still too cute to be true. I am a little worried though that if Cheryl chats em up one more week running one of those little boys is going to explode in a shower of white goo. Heres hoping they stay and show they can do something better. Pink is a bit too rocky for a little teeny boy band IMO.

marioandthestuntbubs wrote:

Part 1

I am a little worried though that if Cheryl chats em up one more week running one of those little boys is going to explode in a shower of white goo.

LMAO!!!

LMFAO !!! Im peeing my pants here xx

Hehehehehe white goo uurrrggghhh!! Matt Cardel is to die for but i agree he looked like he was gonna fall off his little perch lol x

Part 2

TreyC Cohen – seriously is that her name? Who puts a capital letter at the END of their name? And if its not capitalised as far as I can tell its pronounced Trayke. Ok rant aside. Several ornithologists in the audience were said to have been very offended by the jackdaws apparently stapled to her shoulders. The semi naked cricketers in the dominatrix long johns were also a little distracting but I liked her performance, very ballsy and very confident. This girl does know who she is and where she is going and I like her, stupid name and mauled corvids aside. Not totally suited to her voice but she worked it quite well and so nice to see a performer not do insipid mid road stuff. If she carries on in this vein I could def see her being my fave. Lets hope shes not forced back into the girls aloud mold.

Mary Byrne – *$%£ me this woman brings me out in chills. Actually stopped typing during her song to concentrate. I don't know that shes a pop star but shes a star. I think she is West End or Broadway to be honest. Odd dress. Not as good for me as last week but damn still enough to make me hold my breath. I do agree with the need to see her sing something current or I think there is the potential for boredom. Now if we can just get her in some lycra doing a Jedward dance number shes set...

Aiden Private Pile Grimshaw – Ok can someone please find this boy some amphetamines to perk him up a bit. Awkward song for me to concentrate on at the best of times cos I always hear my husband's version – Diamonds Are For Trevor – in my head when this is sung. So even harder when it's being sung by someone who I suspect 20 minutes before was dining on someone's liver with a glass of Chianti. Actually better for me than recent weeks. The manic rocking seems to have been slowed down and he opened his eyes and engaged a few times which meant you could concentrate on his voice which is actually very very good. I think get him blotto right before his performance and he might be quite amusing. He's def relaxing and actually looked quite cute in a psycho way this week with the hair and outfit working for him and even smiled. I'm warming to him a bit though I'd still wear a suit of armour under me lil black number for a night out with him.

marioandthestuntbubs wrote:

Part 2

So even harder when it's being sung by someone who I suspect 20 minutes before was dining on someone's liver with a glass of Chianti. .

Seriously LMFAO!!!!!!! That had me in stitches!!!!!

You crack me up xx

Part 3

Belle Amie – Ok one of my favourite songs so gonna be harsh on em. Discounting for a second the girls who appeared to have a bicycle chain braided through their hair and the one wearing ankle socks with her heels which is a dangerous step towards socks with sandals to my mind as between that and the culottes she only needed to stick her finger in her ear while she sang and she was ready to go a-rambling......Ok I quite liked it. Quite harmonious and considering I'd shred someone who sang it badly I think on balance I won't set Aiden on them. Though for me the most entertainment value came from Louis and Simon bickering like a pair of fishwives. Does Louis get more and more miserable every week? When you find Aiden's happy pills slip em into Louis's coffee or get the man laid please

Wagner – first off someone stop Louis pronouncing his name til he gets it right. I may not like him but he deserves correct pronounciation. Coming out in a theatre nurse's trousers and clogs didnt set me off in the right frame of mind I have to say. Note to Wagner, holding the microphone and mouthing on it like you are trying to give it head – not attractive. Not in a girl def not in a heavily tattooed beponytailed oddball. He seems to be deriving most pleasure from the semi naked girlies prancig round him and probably doesnt give a damn whether he wins or not. I still think his singing sucks and he's madder than a cat in a sack but hes kinda fun in a Jedward style way. Might be nice to see him do something conventional. Please don't send him to the final though, seriously its the numpty vote and good artists will be lost fighting a war on the nutjob front.

Katie Wastrel...Waissel – Oh bloody hell shades of lacey umbrellas just smacked me in the chops. Someones dyed Trayke's jackdaws white and passed em on to staple to Katie. Quite good fun in a 50s kind of way and suited her voice but the prancing was irritating, if I wanted to watch dressage I'd tune into BBC 2. Not my thing but actually did work for her and shes finally getting interesting. Nice to see her stop taking herself so seriously too.

Good night y'all see you tommorrow x

Mario, I don't actually watch x-fector but I've been reading your reviews and literally pissing myself - you are hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

LMFAO!!! Mario i love it

10/10 !!! Goodnight, loves ya x

You should be an X Factor critic for the papers! So funny.

That is just quality