Well today I saw my consultant and now I am more confused than ever.

Firstly she asked me how I was getting on with the medication. 3 weeks ago she advised me to stop taking it when ttc which as you all know I did. She then asked me how I was getting on with a cpn(comm pyschiatric nurse) I haven't got one they were supposed to arrange one at my last appt. She asked me how I was managing, i said well on friday I was pretty close to the edge, she made me spell out how low I was and then just brushed over it.

I was then informed to go out and spend money to make myself feel better mmm bit suspect advice. I was then informed that if they get me a cpn I will possibly lose my pyschologist which I am not at all pleased about as I have been passed from pillar to post by the pyschiatry teams, i have had at least 7/8 different sho's consultants in the last few years. I'm not medically qualified but surely continuity is important in the field of mental health.

I was so confused and then she added in that the risks that have been identified as being increased by the medication I was on can still occur in people who aren't on the medication. They will see me in 4 weeks and If i can't manage without it they will put me back on it

Sorry guys just feel so let down at the mo and so confused

the advice she gave you sounds really poor, not surprised you feel let down by it all

Dont give up though - you can do it, even if they are pants

well she sounds as much use as a chocolate teapot !!! sorry to hear you've not got any further xx

Iv shared a bit before with you about my mums experiences. I cant give any advice on ttc & meds as that wasnt an issue for my mum.

As for continuity of care, yes it should be important but I found that my mum saw a number of counsellors, nurses, consultants over the years. The thing that helped her most was CBT, so if you can stick with psychologist that would be good (if he provides CBT, my mum had to wait 2-3 yrs for that I think). However if you need more regular support & advice then a CPN may be necessary. I think you should be entitled to both from what you have said. Its probably to do with bloody NHS cuts.

Im not really helping, Im just repeating what you have said basically . At your next appointment why dont you ask them/tell them that you feel you need the regular support of a CPN but in the long term with regards a treatment plan a psychologist is still necessary.

What risks where identified about the meds? Sorry for being blunt but was it risk of suicide? Please talk to someone if you ever feel like that. You know you have our support. Id be feeling really frustrated too if I was you. You are doing the best you can by following their advice and have been trying so hard - you dont really need to hear it may have been a waste. Hope you get some answers hun. xxx

Hey you! You knew this was gonna be a bumpy ride for awhile sweets, but being able to chat with you daily, you have overcome a lot of hurdles being off the meds and have done quite well. Yes, you've had high and low moments, but everyone does! It's coming out the other side of it all in one piece is what matters. If I were you, I would search for a consultant privately, someone who will work well with you and you feel most at ease with. With them passing you around like that, would just make you teeter again. Remember why you felt low this weekend, it was your AF that was on her way! My AF makes me wonky and pissy! xxx

I'm so sorry you are having such crap care, no wonder you feel shit! You are doing so well though hun x

Hiya Hun,
That didn't seem to be a very productive appointment at all....can she not remember what you talked about at your last appointment...and then telling you to go out and spend some money..it's all well and good spending a bit of money to cheer yourself up but it can spiral out of control and you could end up in debt which is not what you want at this stage.
Keep going as you are because going by some of your status updates you are doing really well.

xxx

AWW THANK YOU GUYS

I don't know how I would have got this far without your support. Just need to give myself a break when I am having a bad day and remember how far I have come to get here.

exactly hun, you may have a really bad day here and there but you've come so far x

Also remember hun that you still will be having withdrawals from medication yet, you really need to be off all meds for a full six weeks to see how you are!

I have been off meds now for a couple of weeks, and have had a ropey first couple of weeks, but am starting to have days where I think its possible......but no way am I there yet!

Give yourself permission to be a bit 'wobbly' over the next few week & really try to not pay too much attention to it! My counsellor said to me that I almost had to have a little argument with the feelings or sensations I was experiencing, like 'NO, Im paying no attention to you, you will not control me, I will beat you!!' even when actually I felt like crumbling. It empowers you, and eventually your mind starts to believe what your telling it!!

I hope my rambling helps a bit!