Matt ran off last night..and isn't home yet. He has been out the past few nights..hanging with all sorts and has come home smelling like a brewery. Last night, his curfew was for 11pm. He called about 10 minutes before TELLING us that he is going to be staying at a friends house. His dad said quite firmly..NO..you are to be home in 10 minutes and that is that! An argument ensued over the phone between the two of them...so loud that it woke up Madisyn. Matt hung up on his dad, and Shayne was so furious that he jumped in the vehicle to go find him. About 15 mins. later..Matt showed up with his friend and began to "school" me on how he is 16 and doesn't need a curfew! He knows everything, and can make it on his own. I calmly proceeded to "school" him about what a real grown up has to face. Work..bills..and if there is any money left over after all those expenses are covered..you may be able to buy a six pack! I told him he has a choice..he can stay home tonight and have a civil conversation about what it takes to be a "grown up" and avoid any war with his dad....or......he can find somewhere else to live. He chose the latter. Needless to say, we are hurt with his choice. I need some advice about what to do if he decides that "being a grown up" isn't all it's cracked up to be. I need punishment ideas..ie: grounding lengths or anything else that would get him to come to his senses. I want to be tough but fair. Please help!

Send him to me..I will tan his hide!!

What about stopping his allowance, extra chores, telephone/internet ban etc. They were usually what hit me where it hurt when I was that age.

As my mum always said to me..If you want all the rights of adulthood, you have to take on the responsibilities too!!

Sorry am not to much help hun. xx

OMG he's going to try moving out? I doubt he'll get far. He's going to need a deposit for anywhere nice and how is he going to aford to feed and clothe himself? He'll soon wise up once he realises that no one is going to help him out financially xxx

He will be back Jen but i wouldnt expect it to be with his tail between his legs. He will most probably be too proud to admit he was wrong so expect attitude, but deep down i am sure he will realise he has done wrong.

Really no idea about the punishment thing hon as its quite hard with a 16 year old. Not an adult but not a child!

I would deffo lay down some rules of some kind though and let him know what will result if he breaks them. I would also have a stern talking about how it makes you feel when he treats you like this. He will probs appear not to listen but in will go in eventually.

Ah hun i am sorry you are going through this hope i helped xxx

Ok..some of you are aware that Matt was beaten by his ex gf last night. All day I have been begging..pleading and trying to get him to go to the hospital at least to get looked over. They both have been adamant that we should let sleeping dogs lie as far as getting the RCMP involved. Shayne didn't want to make a big fuss over this and as a result..Matt has developed a fever and has been shaking. His entire body is covered in sweat and I have finally convinced them both..he needs to be seen by the doctor. Shayne has just left to take him to the ER. Will keep you all updated. xxx

Jen like ive just wrote onthat last post, i really really hooe hes guna be ok xxxxxxx and you too,must be so so horrible to see your son be a victim of somethung so evil xxx

He has a chest infection and was put on antibiotics immediately..I do have to take him into see our family doctor tomorrow for a follow up...so I am certain a discussion will ensue. He did manage to eat abit tonight and we moved him to sleep upstairs across from our room, so we can keep an eye on him. He just got so sick so quickly that I was certain he had contracted something. He had a fever..was covered in a cold sweat and didn't want to eat or drink anything..he just wanted to sleep. So glad he went in.

Jen I really hope Matt is ok Hun, I'm thinking maybe a talk with his girlfriend isn't such a stupid idea! Although I'm sure Matt wouldn't agree.

I never did the leaving home thing tbh but if I ever did wrong I was grounded, had my phone taken away and Internet, and was a general skivie lol
Are you ok with the drinking side of things? I only ask because my family were ok so long as I was responsible with it, it was pretty normal for 16 year olds to be out clubbing when I was out although now they wouldn't get away with it!

Again I hope he is ok! Thinking of you x

Sorry didn't see your new post, so glad he's going to be ok, bless him he must be feeling awful. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon!

hope the meds start working quickly and hes feeling better soon xxx

Kell wrote:

Jen I really hope Matt is ok Hun, I'm thinking maybe a talk with his girlfriend isn't such a stupid idea! Although I'm sure Matt wouldn't agree.

I never did the leaving home thing tbh but if I ever did wrong I was grounded, had my phone taken away and Internet, and was a general skivie lol
Are you ok with the drinking side of things? I only ask because my family were ok so long as I was responsible with it, it was pretty normal for 16 year olds to be out clubbing when I was out although now they wouldn't get away with it!

Again I hope he is ok! Thinking of you x

Hey..no..we aren't ok with him drinking, but I rather him be honest and open..than try to sneak it and hide it from us. I have seen way to many kids near die from alcohol poisoning because they were too scared to come home and seek help in fear of getting in trouble from their parents. Last winter one of his friends was found(thankfully) in a ditch passed out and near frozen to death from binge drinking. We try to instill safety and a good knowledge of what drinking can do..as well as any drugs. It is so different now days, than it was when I was growing up. Kids have more pressure and even with all the education...seminars...anti drinking/drug campaigns that they are bombarded with..they still manage to find a way to do it. We have told him..no matter what..what condition he is in..or what time it is..he is to call us if he is in trouble or needs a ride. We told him we would not freak out..at least not the night of..but we want him to know that this home is his safe place and to never fear us as his parents. This raising a teen business is very hard work! xxx

Oh..forgot to mention..the girl was a girl he use to date and broke his heart several times over. She left town for awhile and came back and contacted him. They started hanging out much to the dismay of us. Their relationship prior was "off" as she did leave marks on him from supposed "play" fights that had concerned us even back then. Nothing to the extent as I posted in the pics. I did contact her and told her to stay the hell away from my son, that we DO not condone such horrid acts of abuse. He is my child, and I am a protect mother who will grow fangs and horns when someone hurts him.

Hey..no..we aren't ok with him drinking, but I rather him be honest and open..than try to sneak it and hide it from us. I have seen way to many kids near die from alcohol poisoning because they were too scared to come home and seek help in fear of getting in trouble from their parents. Last winter one of his friends was found(thankfully) in a ditch passed out and near frozen to death from binge drinking. We try to instill safety and a good knowledge of what drinking can do..as well as any drugs. It is so different now days, than it was when I was growing up. Kids have more pressure and even with all the education...seminars...anti drinking/drug campaigns that they are bombarded with..they still manage to find a way to do it. We have told him..no matter what..what condition he is in..or what time it is..he is to call us if he is in trouble or needs a ride. We told him we would not freak out..at least not the night of..but we want him to know that this home is his safe place and to never fear us as his parents. This raising a teen business is very hard work! xxx[/quote]

and t sounds to me like you and shayne are doing a fantastic job xxx

Your not wrong! I'm not looking forward to mine being teenagers it doesn't bare thinking about!
It's really good that he feels at ease with you guys in that way, drugs scare the hell outta me I just hope I can put that across to my boys when older, but who knows!

LOL..If I can manage to get them all out of the house physically intact and mentally sound..I have succeeded as a parent!

i agree with katie, sounds like your doing an excellent job...i think teenagers if teenagers are going to drink etc they will do it reguardless of what you say/do at leaste if he knows you are there if you need him then if he does get into troublr then he is more likley to tell you or ask your help

i cant believe them pics jen, hope your all ok xx

He is GROUNDED as well. I told him he'd be lucky to see the outside of this house before his pubes turn grey! He and I are gonna be the bestest of buds for the next little while!

that made me lol x

It's crazy Jen - not just the whole GF business, but the fact that all that ensued at the time he was all "I'm a grown up and don't need you xyz" - and now he will be very much aware that his Mum's care, families love and home comforts are very much needed and actually too good to pass up!!!

Really hope the trollop gets her head sorted or at the very least learns to stay the hell away. Although I have a feeling you may see to that
Take care, hope Matt's better soon xx

Ahh hun - I dread when i have got to properly 'discipline' Hannah as I am rubbish at knowing what to do/say at the best of times. Its so hard and think you are doing the best you can hun, just been catching up on the x gf and she is a weirdo to put it nicely, I really wouldnt be able to help myself and would end up wanting to hit her - but two wrongs dont make a right i suppose.
Hope you are ok today hun and you do realise as my babies get older im coming to you for advice
xx

Wow, I have just caught up with this.

I really hope that Matt is feeling better today. What an awful girl, doing something like that!

I take my hat of to you for keeping so level headed. It sounds like you are doing a fab job as a parent to a teenager (not something I am looking forward to!)

x

I'm glad he's home now and on the mend soon. xxx