I think I'm ready to admit that I'm really really struggling right now, with my relationship with Rob, with Harry, with my life, with basically everything, to the point where I have horrible thoughts which I don't want to go into as I feel guilty for my little Haribo for even thinking. I just feel like I'm letting him down, I have a shit job where I am unhappy and not doing what I want, but I don't see a way out of it. My body is playing tricks on me, I have so many symptoms of me being pregnant yet I keep getting BFN, I want to go to the docs but I'm scared. Since my bro got diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of the year (got all clear now) just from a routine check up I've not been to the docs for me since, in case they tell me there's something wrong... I know that sounds ridiculous but thats just how I feel I can't help it...

I'm just a mess and I have no one to talk to and probably none of this makes sense so I'm sorry I'm just ranting away

I can understand why you feel a bit all over the place - but you know you have to go to the docs! Whatever it is is better off being sorted now, not later - you need to look after yourself!!

Are you unhappy with Rob relationship wise or just feel frustrated with life in general and hence he seems part of that?

Just life in general, I feel like I have no future. I want to be a teacher, but can't afford uni and can't see me ever being able to afford it. When Rob points out what it will cost and to see if we can actually do I always think its a personal attack on me and we end up arguing - its not that I don't love him, I just don't think a lot of myself at the minute and finding it hard to be affectionate towards him.

awwww hun, sorry to hear you're feeling so down. yeh i would deffo go and see doc. have a chat with them and tell them everything. doctors aren't just for physical aches and pains, they also deal with mental health, anxiety and stress. sometimes just offloading helps to make the path a bit clearer. we all get like this sometimes, so its completely normal !!! admitting to yourself that there are problems is a positive step to being proactive and working on changing things xx

It makes sense that the relationship will suffer when you aren't happy. Are there any other jobs you'd like to do where you can train in work? Like an apprentice?

I know it sounds daft but thats all I've seen myself doing. xx

I'll just have to rethink my career path (when I do get one lol) xx

aww hun, sorry your feeling down in the dumps! i agree with leah, go have a chat with your gp and explain how your feeling, its nothing to worry or be ashamed of, i can see why you worry what with your brothers situation but isnt it better to find out that something is wrong than it go unnoticed(although im pretty sure nothing is wrong )
ttc can be stressfull and getting a bfn is always going to be dissapointing but it will happen for you hun!
can you have a chat with oh, tell him exactley how your feeling and how much its getting you down, im sure you can figure out some way to be able to afford uni, even if it means saving up for a few years(or student loan) but it is something to set your sights on

hope your feeling a bit brighter soon! were always here if you need a sholder to cry on xxx

did you ever look into funding while you studied? you might be surprised at how much help and support you will actually get.

it makes sense that you will resent the people closest to you if your unhappy in your job. its a big part of your life. I love my job but the second I start to dislike it or feel unhappy there I will look at other options because being somewhere I hate and being away from hannah is just not an option for me. so I have an idea of how you must be feeling right now.

why dont you even look for another job, any job. a change of scenery and meeting new people might be just what you need for now and then you can think about teaching later on if its really not going to happen just now? x

I agree with Steph!

I HATED going to work at the IT place, and so it made being away from Izzy really bad

I am only cleaning as a temporary fix while I am studying - but I am alot happier! I do my job, get paid, come home...no worrying about work!

Aww hun

I think most of us on here have posted about not being satisfied with something in our life, be it OH's, jobs, where we live. Reading posts on here shows us that life isnt always as rosy as we may make out to friends & family.

What you are going through is pretty common, however I agree with the others maybe you should have a chat with your GP if you think you are depressed. Lots of mummys are on anti-d's (im not saying you need them, just something dr may consider), its nothing to be ashamed about. Like meg said even telling someone in person & having a cry may help you sort your thoughts/feelings in your head.

Look into other options. Maybe you cant afford to be a teacher. You are clearly not happy in your current job so why not explore other similar careers. Residential childcare worker? Childminder? Nursery assistant? Could you do NVQ's at night & get a day job in a shop? Why not book an appointment with a careers advisor at local jobcentre. You dont have to be unemployed to get advice from them. Even picking up a college prospectus for Jan intake & see what options there are.

As for Rob, it does seem like things have been strained recently but you are working at it. I cant really give much advice there.

Really hope you are ok. Try and tackle one area of your life at a time thats making you miserable and hopefully in turn each one will seem easier to change. xxx

Have you ever thought about getting a job as a classroom assistant? sometimes you can do a fast track teaching course from that and if it's like nursing you get paid to do it if you go back to work for the area that paid for you.
not sure what classroom assistants get paid but think its around 12 - 15 k a year.

I hope you feel better soon hun!Have you looked into what help you'd get with uni? Realistically it will be a bit of a struggle but it's quite well funded if your a parent, I applied for my loans when I was pregnant and it worked out at 9 grand a year tax free, plus childcare is payed for x

claireh77 wrote:

Have you ever thought about getting a job as a classroom assistant? sometimes you can do a fast track teaching course from that and if it's like nursing you get paid to do it if you go back to work for the area that paid for you.
not sure what classroom assistants get paid but think its around 12 - 15 k a year.

this is a great suggestion. You could also look at support work in a college as you can work your way up with adult quals so eventually you could teach adults. Or look at being am NVQ assessor.

Thank you for all your comments girls they helped a lot, I'm going to look into teaching assistant courses I could do.

Thank you again, love you all lots xxxxx

No clear-cut advice but they say admitting to things is a big first step.
Hope things are clearer soon for you, baby steps xx