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J1
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : England Posts : 2346
| Subject: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:29 am | |
| Picking up on something Debs said in the dressing topic, who has found that OH does much less with 2nd (and subsequent) children? I have definatley noticed it with Adam, he is still brilliant with Alice but he has wriggled out of bathing her most of the time (that was always his job), he doesnt bath Edith, he had never dressed Edith, he doesnt really cuddle her as much as he did with Alice. And he definately does less freaking housework, he used to do the bins, the cat litter and the bathroom and basically does sweet FA now!! His only redemption is that he normally lets me get an extra hour on a morning but even that went (.)(.)'s up this morning! Sorry Rant Over! |
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Suse
Age : 42 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : England Posts : 3128
About Me! My Name: Suse Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:35 am | |
| Oh god Jo don't say that Simon didn't do a huge amount with Libby when she was tiny (and come to think of it has still NEVER bathed her himself) so I dread to think what he'll be like with the newbie!! I'll give him credit - he does do the majority of the househork though. Do you think having a word with him will make him realise? I know when I talk to Simon about it now he just said he found it hard because she was so small and because I was BF he thought everytime she cred she wanted feeding. xx |
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J1
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : England Posts : 2346
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:41 am | |
| In your case suse, i wouldnt worry too much but with Alice Adam was very hands on wanting to get involved, he still is fantastic with her other than the bathing.
It might be nothing to do with 2nd baby and has just turned into a lazy sheeite! cos TBH he was a bit like it while i was PG this time around, thats why i was wondering if its normal.
I am coping with things, just the whole thing this morning with the PS3 has got right up my nose!!! |
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Suse
Age : 42 Join date : 2010-08-19 Location : England Posts : 3128
About Me! My Name: Suse Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:11 am | |
| Hmm, maybe someone else who's had their 2nd can advise better then. I know your coping hun but I know how annoying it was with Libby so I can imagine how frustrating it is for you with having Alice as well as Edith to sort out. xx |
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Laura
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : Northampton Posts : 6084
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:00 am | |
| Eeek I dont want to read this! James didnt do too much with Aimee anyway because when she was finally out of hospital I was so obsessive over everything that he kind of just let me get on with it. He is great with Aimee as she got older though - and I am making sure he still does bath time with her. He is very good at the min and when he gets home from work he takes over and gives me a break. Im sure in a few weeks I will be back on here moaning my butt off that he isnt pulling his weight! x |
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Pepper
Age : 44 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : In your computer Posts : 1584
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:21 am | |
| Everything was different 2nd time round. My OH went to every anti natal appt with Lottie, I think he went to 1 when I had Abbie. He also did do far less and went we went to visit people he used to want come with us but 2nd time he was shutting the door behind me!!!
xx |
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J1
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : England Posts : 2346
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:10 am | |
| i think he has just turned into a lazy shit! he came in earlier and ate his sandwich that i made him for work, in the living room that i had just hoovered, and dropped crumbs all over the carpet. No sorry, not so much as a kiss my arse.... the GIT!!! |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:19 am | |
| i think becuase they see us managing they think we need them to do less |
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jenshayne
Age : 54 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Canuckville Posts : 3290
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:20 am | |
| Awww hun. It's hard feeling like a single mum when pretty much ALL the child rearing falls in your lap. When Shayne isn't home its horrible, by the end of the day I am so worn out that I have sometime caught myself falling asleep sitting up on the couch. When he is home, I made it perfectly clear to him by telling him that HE did this to me..and HE needs to help out. I realize he works outside the home and it can be quite physically exhausting..but there is nothing more tiring than being a MOM. You just had a baby, and chasing a toddler. You defo need a helping hand toots! xxx |
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J1
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-16 Location : England Posts : 2346
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:23 am | |
| Laura, i think you have hit the nail on the head perfectly, when he does get up and let me have an extra hour he does feck all, i have washing/dishwasher on, sides all wiped down while i am waiting for the kettle to boil! |
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GuestGuest
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:26 am | |
| have a screaming hissy fit at him and threaten his ps3 |
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kenty
Age : 39 Join date : 2010-08-24 Location : Leeds Posts : 2260
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:29 am | |
| i think i'm going to be the rare one that says...sam does the same amount as he did with just lily-ann even during pregnancy he still went to every appointment, listened to the hb, felt the kicks and now he still doesn't cop out of any of it so there is hope for some of you! lol |
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Wriggler
Join date : 2010-10-01 Posts : 434
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:15 am | |
| Yeah I'm with kenty on this one my oh is just as good with S as he was with A.
This is his 4th child but 2nd with me and he has been brilliant with A&S!
Hide the PS3 remotes! |
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DonnaAdmin
Age : 46 Join date : 2010-08-17 Location : Wakefield Posts : 3100
About Me! My Name: Donna Status: Mummy Number of Children: 0
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:36 am | |
| My OH is useless with them all, he is one of the kids No hes not that bad really but he does usually just let me get on with it |
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xemplus2x
Age : 39 Join date : 2010-08-31 Location : wales Posts : 1731
About Me! My Name: Emma Status: Mummy Number of Children: 2
| Subject: Re: OH's and 2nd children Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:09 pm | |
| Mines just useless lol he hasn't changed. He never did anything with lillie so he's the same. Never bathed her, only changed her 3 or 4 times. He just passes her to me. Never done the washing up never!! No house work, iv done the bins everyweek. This is why I'm so sam fed up at the mo. Now since Hollie exactly the same. Don't get me wrong brill with lillie she adores him, He'l play with her & play when she's playing with her tea set (quite funny to watch grown butch man pretending to eat cakes & tea a 21month old made hehe) but as forgelping me out forget it. Sits on his ass! Hollie was screaming in her bouncer yesterday just wanting pocking ip so I ignored her thinking He'l get her as he was in lounge with her& I was cleaning up & sorting lillie for bed. No no he's shouting to me 'hollies crying!' and muttered doesnt look like anyonea comming to her! like I didn't know!! Argh
God going to stop nor or I could go on and on. No he's not hands on at all!! A he likes to remind me 'well it's you that wanted kids!!' really someone remind me why I'm with him?!? Lol |
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