ill try keep it short...
my auntie has my kids twice a week, usually from about 4:30-6pm when oh picks them up, well today oh is out so she had them till i finished work!
when i got there, my cousine said 'oh leo has been really naughty today, i think someone must have been saying things to him becasue he was asking why my mum has a fat belly and how come she doesnt work'! i told her i would have a word with him but i doubt very much some one has said something like that to him!
anyway in the car i had a word with leo, explained that he shouldnt make comments about her having a fat belly as its not nice, will hurt her feelings etc so he apologised(also told him he will need to apologise to her)then asked him what he was asking about her working for! he just said he wonderd why she didnt work (fair enough, he's 5 years old and he's only asking questions) and then he'd asked if her friends go to work then aparentley she has gone mad at him and pushed him!!!!!he then said he was crying and said 'i dont like it when you push me' and she said 'i dont care'

now i know leo was in the wrong for commenting on her weight but he is 5 years old fgs, he's not saying it to be nasty on purpouse and as for the work thing well thats just her being bloody paranoid...no one has said anything to leo about her not working, why would they???? we know she isnt well, she has social phobia and cant even leave the house alone, paranoid schizophrenia and a few other mental health problems but is usually stable and has never gone off at him like this...she has had a hard life but doesnt give her the right to go off like that towards my 5 year old!! she should have been the adult and sent him to the naughty step or something!!! i am just so angry but now none of them are even answreing the phone

i have sent a text asking there side of the story befor i go in all guns blazing, but nothing excuses her for doing that!!!!i know it was only a push but i dont do that to my son, what gives her the right to, and its obvs upstet him too

I agree, its totally wrong

Thing is a push can lead to a smack...and you don't want that!!!

i wud be raging hun!! i def not let it lie either that is shocking
and omg 5yrs olds ask questions 24/7 they see things for themselves and they need to know the ins and outs of everything!
i hope ur ok hun, my blood is boiling for u lol

i woud be foaming gemz, he's a chid and will say things that are inapppropriate, he doesn't know until he learns ! is there anyone else that could look after them for you?

nothing condones that!!!!! he is your child and if she felt he'd done something bad she should have mentioned it so you could discipline him...not bloody push him!!!!

i def wont be letting it lie, im shaking from anger and also upset!!
i dont get it because she is usually really good with them both... i have drummed it into leo that if anyone ever hurts him he must tell me, iv asked if shes ever done anything like this before and he said no, she doesnt even usually shout!! i am going to ask my mum to have them from now on.
we all lose our temper sometimes but as an adult you have to realise what is happening and walk away from the situation!! x

I'm sorry but I don't think Leo was in the wrong at all! He is 5 years old ffs and was only asking a question, he wasn't thinking bad of her for not working he was just asking her why!

A couple of weeks ago my niece who's 6 told me I looked like I was having another baby, yes it upset me abit but I knew she wasn't saying it to be nasty!

gemz i would be furious it starts at pushing but where will it end next time he does something to annoy her and if she dont care about him being pushed what else does she not care about

poor little man x

no your right he wasnt, thats how kids learn!! yes he does learn what things are apropriat and what isnt, but like you said not like he's thinking ohh ill say that to be nasty
thing is i know her and she will now be sat there thinking we have all been slagging her off about her not working

suzie i know thats exactley what im worried about too! im so shocked she even did that but wouldnt want to risk it happening againx

Jeez you have every right to be angry and more so concerned!

Kids ask embarassing/awkward questions - its normal & how they find out about the world/social boundaries. Its up to the adult to answer them tactfully, and deal with any hurt feelings on their own away from the child. Pushing a 5 yr old is TOTALLY out of order.

I hope Leo isnt trying to protect her now eg thinks he has done something wrong. Praise him for telling you, im sure you are already.

I really hope your mum can help out and that your auntie gets help if she needs it - its not really 'stable' behaviour. x

Your little man comes first so if her feelings get a little bit hurt because she can't have him anymore then tough! I hope she comes to her sense and realises she was in the wrong x

snoopy, no its not at all, she isnt really a stable person but neven in a million years would i have expected something like this! she used to look after me and my sisters when we were younger and never once gave me any reason to be concerned!thats why regurdless of her 'problems' i have always trusted her with my children, but she has now ruined that trust. still no reply to the text either x

Hey I didnt mean that she always wasnt to be trusted with the boys, I just meant that maybe she is having a dip & thankfully you have been alerted to behaviour changes early on. You werent to know that would happen! (Just incase you thought i was getting at you lol)

Hmmm no reply, obviously she cant defend her behavior. If it was untrue & I had been accused of something like that I would ring immediately and defend myself. Could she be asleep?

no i didnt think you were getting at me lol think im just reminding myself...i know something was going off with her medication, they were trying to reduce her doses without speaking to her psychiatrist and she wasnt happy at all and didnt feel ready, maybe that happend sooner than i thought? hmmm only just rememberd about that!! also her daughter is having some screws out of her ankle in the morning so may have a factor in her being stressed?? ahh i have no idea but something is definatley out of charicter

im not sure if she's asleep, she didnt come down when i came to pick the kids up! but iv also tried ringing my cousine but no answre! she's probibly too scared to talk to me, but surely she should see she is in the wrong and atleast ring and apologise x

this makes me livid, boiling over angry.

i dunno how u contain yourself and never swung the car around and went in all guns blazing and gave her a blummin shove right back, see how she likes it, being picked on like that ffs! it angers me a lot! i do not agree with others disciplining other people kids, using methods that the parent hasn't approved or without permission!

If she is normally ok and is genuinely stressed/having problems with her meds (which she recognises herself) maybe a break for a cpl of weeks would do everyone good.

If you got an apology and she talked to you about why she did it/was open to getting meds adjusted maybe she could start taking them again. Im not saying forgive & forget but maybe just have a short break. Maybe she didnt come down earlier because she couldnt face you or is depressed and avoiding ppl (my mum can go like that sometimes, but not with family). Your cousin prob feels stuck in the middle, maybe she isnt aware that her mum pushed leo....

Im not excusing anything, pushing a child is wrong full stop. However Id hope she could talk to you about it and apologise & try to make things right. If she isnt even remorseful then I think you'l have great difficulty building bridges. I agree with Laura about disciplining other kids, yup give a ticking off when in order (I dont even think a ticking off was in order) but nothing physical. x

if that was my child I would be looking for alternative child care immediately.

maybe what Leo said hurt because it was the truth and the truth hurts

If that was me id reconsider her having them again. I would not be happy 4 anyone to push my child and make them cry. It may not have been the nicest thing he said but hes a child there gonna ask questions xx

well ladies i honestley dont know how i managed to stay calm last night, now my head is clear and i think about what she did i really dont see why i didnt go round all guns blazing !!!!my son did nothing wrong!! even if he had said something wrong, id still be fuming because she doesnt have the right to discipline my son physically. i think had it been a smacked bum or hand id not have been as shocked(if hed actually been naughty!! of course id still be fuming as its not her place ) but i find pushing somehow goes a step further if you get me? like a parent will tap a childs hand or bum...normal parent child behaviour...pushing on the other hand i find is intimidating and bullying, if you get me???
i still cant get hold of them...not even a phonecall to apologise and explain what she thinks she was playing at. no way is she looking after my kids x

You'd think she'd at leastve the decency to apologise! Hows Leo doing? x