Hi ladies

If you don't know i had an operation to incise and drain a bartholins abcess last year when i was 34 weeks pg with Mia. Since then i've had pain down there when putting in tampons and having sex, it even hurts when i'm receiving oral sex if he pushes his tongue on it the wrong way or too hard. I can't do it on my side at all as it pushes too much and is really painful. I've been through a lot of emotional distress due to this and also my confidence has taken a huge hit. (basically i've got an inch or more scar and a hole that relly hurts when pressure is put on it)

I've been to a gynaecologist in May and it was a bloke who basically told me to go away and stretch the tissue. I felt completely dismissed. It also didn't help. The 2nd time was this morning and it was a woman thank god. She agreed that she can help me and that they can close the hole that's there and fill it out a little.

When i got back to the car i phoned my OH and told him the news. His reaction was aaah *$%£!!! because they can't operate until after i've had the baby. I am seriously taken aback by his reaction. It's me whose suffered pain and discomfort for a year and been very distressed by it. All that's affected him is he can't get it in the spoons position. I never liked that position in the first place.

I'm really angry at him and feel completely unsupported by his reaction. It really made me want to just walk away from him. I know that sounds really harsh but this is my vagina. It's the thing that makes me a woman and it doesn't work properly. I wish he had the scar and the pain on his penis. Then he would know how it feels and experience exactly how offputting to sex it can be. I have been crying my wee eyes out this morning. Out of anger, and relief.

Dee
x

aww hun, i'm sorry he was so insensitive, What a prat.
I hope you are ok. I know 9 months is still a while to wait but its good that they feel they can help! hopfully this time next year it will all be a memory! x

Thanks kell It's just so annoying. All this time i thought he was being ok with it. Obviously not. Just wish he didn't lie about it x

im so sorry that he made you feel that way i have had alot of operations down below and in in constant pain all the time everything is uncomfortable and can only have sex in one position ... very annoying!!

anyway if you ever need to chat about how you feel an di can help in anayway im only pm away x

That would really help. I don't know anyone else with experience of this x

GLad your getting it sorted but I'm sorry it's taking so long! Your oh should be greatful he's getting any sex at all!

He gets a lot more sex than most men in a relationship i can tell you. He should be grateful lol x

CONGRATS!!!!! not on your up and coming surgery

first off so glad your getting it sorted I cant imagine how sore and uncomfortable you must be

your oh is a prat. no wonder your upset. tell him he will be lucky if he he gets it at all during your pregnancy!

lol steph that's funny. I hope bean sticks.

He hasn't answered the text i sent him this morning so i'm wondering if i'll get abuse for it tonight. Tuff cause i'm not listening anymore.
x

why should you get abuse? just ignore him.

x

cause i had a right go at him lol x

well he deserved it.

hows mia and lauryn doing?

Lauryn i've no idea i don't get told anything.

Mia's fab she's getting cheekier by the day lol

Hows Hannah?
x

If that was my oh i'd have done more than have a go at him

Maybe he hasnt answered cos hes feeling guilty. Insensitive numpty. Men! xxx

I know. It really was the wrong reaction to have. I've been in tears so many times in bed with him. He should know how bad its affected me.
x

hes lucky to be getting it at all!! theres nothing wrong with my vagina and my hubby gets it even less!! xx

We have sex nearly every day. He really shouldn't be complaining x

omg he really is lucky he's getting any at all! you should refuse any now until after your sorted if it's bothered HIM that much. cheeky sod.

lol mummajade i should shouldn't i?????

x

Lol wtf has he got to moan about then. My OH is like a dog with two tails if its once a week the way ive been feeling lately

yes deffo! me and hubby have had sex TWICE this month|! now thats wat i call unlucky!

We've always had a good sex life. I really can't do it in spoons on either side because of the pressure. He moans cause thats how he wants it when he can't be bothered going on top. It really peeves me off x

PMSL. Im sorry deecee but he reallyhas no idea. Hes prob getting more than most blokes and you shud tell him to shut up or go get used to wanking alone. Its your needs that matter too u shudnt feel likeyou have to do something that hurts

I don't do it like that at all. Funny thing is he wanks a lot too while watching porn. Probably every other day too. I think there's summit wrong wi him. I think he's not normal pmsl x