my ohs older son jst came in soaked thru cos was rolliing in the snow!! oh makes him a cup of tea and sits it on arm of my setee (setee has really wide arms) ive told his son a million times not to put hot cups on there without mat cos its marking the leather and ive not even had it a year yet i dont want it wrecked and to be honest im gettin sick fed up of his son being told to do sumit and jst ignoring us!
so i turn and said can u please put that cup on floor cos it will mark settee and my oh shakes his head then snaps ffs u put ur cups of tea on there all the time!!
em no i dont, i have one cup of tea usually at night in the house and i sit it on the window or my knee (sometimes my laptop) never burning hot on the settee
really starting to piss me off that i cant say anything but its like im pickin on his son, no im not pickin on him but he has been told a million times and im not letting stuff in my home be wrecked
really *$%£ annoys me, his son thinks he can jst do as he pleases and my oh jst lets him away with it!!

Sounds familiar! Nothing like having them trash your house cos if you say something then you are the 'evil step mother' eh!!
My OH is actually really good at backing me up but the kids tend to 'tell on me' to their mum and nan which cause crap for OH. I feel for you chick, I really do xx

some things he will back me up like earlier oh told his son to get his room cleaned yet wen i went up stairs he was sat playin comp and room was a tip so i told him to get room done and he did it but went in huff
so oh asked why he was in huff and i said cos ive jst told him to come off comp and clean room and oh said oooh evil step mum to which i replied well u told him earlier but he choose to ignore u and play his comp to which im not allowing and i told oh it will be same for evan if he is asked to do something then ill expect him to do it not ignore us to which oh agreed i was right but still an evil step mum!!
hmmm im no where near as bad as his mother!

It's a lose - lose situation isn't it (((hugs))) to a fellow 'evil stepmum' x

Hun once again I have no real advice, all I can say is I feel your pain! We still have argument after argument about OHs daughter and her attitude . OH is starting to agree now on certain aspects but I am sick of being told I 'have something against her' - I daren't even disagree with her sometimes for fear OH just blames me.

All I can say is this step parent thing has got to be the hardest thing I have ever done! I take my hat off to all you lovely ladies out there that do it and are good at it coz I really struggle at times and the worst part of it is that you can't even confide in the person closest (your OH) coz they are part of the problem. I am lucky in a way that OHs daughter was 15 when we met and will be 18 next month. She is becoming more and more independant and doesn't need us as much. I hate to say this but if she had been a lot younger I don't know if 'we' would have survived. It is such a tough situation hun but stick to your guns, your house your rules! and I would have a very stern word with OH about not belittling you and undermining you in front of the kids (both kids!) coz Evan will be getting to an age where he will start picking up on it too. If he has an issue with the way you handle situations with his son then he needs to tell you in private and more to the point if you have a 'rule' in your own home then he needs to back you up on it. I know it will probably go in one ear and out the other hun but just keep reminding him - you are the adult and your house - your rules!

((((((hugs)))))

xx

Well his son continued to ignore everything we said this morning - I told him which bus stop to go to for school as buses r goin different routes due to snow and he didn't he went to normal bus stop where the bus isn't goin and again missed bus oh thinks he did it deliberately thinking it's Friday dad will let me stay off but he didn't - but oh has decided it's time he had words with is son and is goin to speak with him tonight as to why he jst ignores what we say and does his own thing
So oh has clearly noticed it and now realises sumit has to be said and he can see I'm not pickin on him I'm jst not letting him get away with ignoring us and thinkin he is the adult
So things will hopefully improve

Ooh sounds promising hun! Good luck!

xx