First topic message reminder :

Ok so as some of you know i havent seen any of my family for 18 months due to a massive fall out.

My "mother" got in touch a while back and we have been comunicationg by telephone since September every other week. We are on decent terms i.e we chat about everyday shit.

But she has bought the kids xmas presents. She asked if she could drop them at my house which i told her no cause tbh she will never be welcome at my house ever again. But she has asked me if i can take the kids over and pick them up.

Now Ben says i cant take the little ones over but the bigger kids can make their own mind up fair enough. Sam has never met her and Archie doesnt 100% remember them so its no detrement to them.

But i kinda wanna take them all. I am half and half, part of me wants to go and part of me doesnt. I sort of feel a need to take them all over especially Sam, i feel i need to show them off, and say look what you have missed out one, also i need to show my baby off, no-one in my family has ever met him and that has hurt me.

Ben still totally hates them which i dont blame him, and hes worried they will try to come between us which would never happen, i dont feel any loyalty to tthem at all.

But i feel like i have got out of their controling clutches and am now being controlled by Ben! They are my kids too, obviously if i take them i go against him, but if i dont he gets his own way. I dont wanna go against his wishes, and he does understand why i feel the need to take them.

I just dont know what to do tbh. I dont want to get into this big relationship with them again, i like them at arms length but i would like to take the kids over.

They are complete bastards i agree with Ben, but they do love the kids to bits regardless of what they have done, and its easy for Ben to say *$%£ them but he has all his family right on our doorstep and he sees them every day.

I need your wisdom girlies