I am in need of some honest opinions ladies.

Since Lily was born my OH has drank every day. Some days a couple of beers, some days it can be a whole bottle of fizz or wine. Yesterday was the first day he hasn't had a drink, and that is only because he got so drunk the night before that he was sick all day.

He promised me yesterday that he was done with drinking and then came home today with 8 bottles of beer.

Is it just me, or is this a sign that he has a drink problem? As you will see from my ticker, Lily is 4 weeks old tomorrow and it's been every day.

I don't want to be with somebody who has to drink to get through his evenings.

I have tried to talk to him tonight but he said it's just because it's the Xmas season. But I'm thinking it is more than this.

Am I over reacting, or does everybody drink this much? X

Oooooh its a toughy because of the season......in my little opinion you should try and ignore it till after NY and then see what happens!

Yes if its still the same then, then i would be asking him to stop, say during the week??

I myself probably have a beer (or equiv) most eveings as my 'wind down', and at the mo its increased a bit 'because its christmas'

I would keep a watchful eye, without saying a lot for a little while longer hunny

xxx

a whole bottle is a bit much! i know its really common to have a couple of beers in the evening for lots of people (although why im not sure! maybe its a cultural thing, i suppose common isn't necessarily ok).

to me 'too much' is when something affects you or your family - and obviously it is affecting you. like lisa says maybe you will have to ride it out til the excuse of christmas/new year is over, but even then it might be quite difficult to broach the subject if he is sure it is fine!

i agree with mari that if its affecting the relationship its too much,

both Adam and i generally have a couple of beers, the past week or so its been more like 3 for me!

we are both agreeing to not drink in the week after christmas, me cos it puts me lots of weight on mainly, but it is very difficult to not have one when i have had a shitter of a day.

but definately, if you are unhappy then its becoming too much. Good luck lovely xxx

if it's affecting your relationship then it's too much.

My OH drinks every evening could be one can or a whole bottle of wine. but he's been like this since i met him and i don't think that he has a drink problem as he's not drunk, he's not rude.

But he's damn lazy either way

I have a few drinks in front of the tv most weekends, and occassionally during the week id have 1-2. My problem is my drink of choice is vodka and diet coke and while 1-2 glasses of wine in the evening or 1-2 beers may be classed as socially acceptable, I know a few people that wouldnt agree with drinking spirits during the week at home. My point is that everyones idea of whats acceptable is different.

I do think every night for 4 weeks may be too much. Well 1-2 every night for 4 wks imo probably isnt that big a deal but if he's having more than that & getting beyond mildly tipsy EVERY night then it is a big deal. It being xmas is all well and good but he cant have been on that many nights out, and xmas day/boxing day/NYE/NY day still hasnt happened and for many theyre the main drinking sessions.
I agree perhaps asking him to go cold turkey this week may be a bit tough, but its odd that he promised to stop drinking and then almost instantly is out buying beer. He should have told you that he knew he was drinking a bit much and would cut back over xmas and stop in NY. To me that would be realisitic and would have shown he had seriously thought about it, not just told you what he thouught you wanted to hear at the time.

I wouldnt say he has a serious drink problem atm. I have found that when I was younger if i was on hols or out over xmas 3-4 nights in a row id have got into a habit of having a drink and would have then fancied it the next night even if I was staying in. Maybe if you change routine in the new year he will break what I hope is just a habit and not actually a full on addiction if iykwim.
I wouldnt completly ignore it over xmas eg have a calm chat tonight and explain why you are worried, and agree to him having a few over xmas and NY but not every night... maybe 5/6 out of the next 10 nights and then suggest he cuts it out for a while in NY. x

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/interactivetests/alcoholdrinking.php

If he carries on hon you need to have a serious look at whether he will stop or seek help. Trust me, once drinking gets in and a hold of someone its hard to break the cycle. Have seen it happen. Neil got out of hand when we were engaged, drinking to excess, hiding it from me and lying to me, passing out on sofa drunk, falling asleep while cooking and nearly started a fire. That night im ashamed to admit when he passed out, i removed the smoking pans from hob then went to lounge and kicked him so hard i left his leg black and blue the next day. I dont believe in women hitting men any more than men hitting women so it was not my finest hour. I gave him an ultimatum, me or the drink. He chose me and got back on track and now drinks once a week max and only when im there and he doesnt have responsibility for C but we were close to splitting over it. I flung my ring at his head and walked out on him before he figured it out so see to it sooner than later if its worrying you. I hes anyting like neil its not alcoholism per se but a def problem with impulse control that means he doesnt drink responsibly and from there its a slippery path

Sorry didnt mean to go on

I think that's too much

My ex had a drinking problem... I went out one night and he drank a bottle of really expensive champers, that I had won in the work raffle..and he didn't care that it was mine.

I realised how bad it was when we'd got 2 bottles of wine and I was laying the table in the dining room and saw him go in the bedroom with a bottle of wine I went in after he left and found he had hidden a bottle in his wardrobe..so I asked him why..he came up with the excuse he put i there to take to work..why i said..no answer. In the end I got mad and said you either tell me the real reason or you get out of this house now.
He admitted that he didnt want to share it with my parents who were coming for dinner...he wanted it all for himself later.

I kicked him out soon after (not for that reason!) and his drinking got worse, he was always completely pissed (falling over, couldn't talk) in town, and got a reputation as a drunkard!

I dont think he has a problem 'yet', but I think that if I dont say something then it could end up being a problem.

I am probably extra sensitive today as he got so drunk the other night and I was up at all hours cleaning up his vomit. Plus, I dont tend to drink at home because I am the one who takes responsiblity for Aimee and Lily (one of us will always stay sober because of Aimee's heart problems).

I wont say any more about it until xmas is over and will keep an eye on it.

x

Laura wrote:

I dont think he has a problem 'yet', but I think that if I dont say something then it could end up being a problem.
x

Im inclined to agree. You def need to keep tabs on it but at the end of the day if it continues he needs to be the one to admit its a prob and be willing to stop. Hope it stops ater crimbo for you

Gav drinks every night - most of the time just a can with his tea and he might have another one after depending on how he feels. i do feel like he drinks too much tho and i tell him all of the time. his mam was an alcoholic and she died in may and i dont want him turning to drink the same way she does.

but alot of my friends drink on a night and its seemed as perfectly normal. i tend not to just cos i dont really fancy it. i prefer a pub pint than a can (sayin that as im holding a bottle of bud in my hand! - nom nom nom!!!)

Just keep an eye on it and see how it goes once the festive period is over.

x

My dad was a drunk he prob still is. He drank everynight sometimes starting at lunchtime he would hide booze frm my mum anywher ehe could when she kicked him out n cleaned out the garage the amount of empty whiskey/beer/cider bottles was shocking x

Oh my mum has a glass of wine nearly every evening but she doesnt have a prob xx

I would leave it till after new year then you can say well its not because of the season its been going on for however long xx

Yeah Laura I completely agree that the next few weeks is not the time to broach the subject with him. Wait until the new year and see what he does. If he carries on in the same vein then I completely agree with many of the other ladies that it's too much. To me someone has a problem with alcohol when they rely on it for any reason or it effects an aspect of their or their families lives. Dave will sometimes have a drink or 2 a night for a week but at other weeks won't touch a drop. I rarely ever drink at home, I'm definitely a social drinker

My OH used to have a can or two or a couple of glasses of wine most nights but his evil wife has convinced him that the sickness bug he had a couple of weeks ago was caused by the red wine only he drank the night before and now he can't touch any alcohol and even the thought of it makes him feel sick.

I'm with the others it is probably being made worse by Christmas, also new babies in the house tend to make some men go strange (I think it is their hormones) and do things that are out of character or exaggerated behaviour.

Is he out drinking or in the house? (having no alcohol available at home might reduce the problem slightly)

As it only seems to be something that has started recently I would be a little worried.
But a lot of men to have a drink or 2 in the evenings and I would not think anything of that if its something thats always happened but just to start suddenly I would be a bit concerned.
As someone else said see what happens in the new year as it might just be his way of getting in the xmas spirit.
If you feel its becoming a problem with the relationship then have a word, he might even put your mind at rest if u bring it up with him x