Is it fair of me to even think about ttc when I have some many insecurities. My confidence self esteem and self belief are rock bottom at the mo.
I am really struggling in my new job and am finding everything such a struggle. My moods are all over the show I am up and down like a yo-yo. I am so tired of feeling like this. I have battled depression and anxiety for the last 9 years if not longer and am worried that I am never going to be able to function normally and without medication. I am so desperate to be a mum but maybe I need to realise it isn't fair to pass my insecurities and fears onto someone else.
Sorry for the post girls, am just really struggling to cope at the mo
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Ah..Diane..thats the lies the disease tells you! Depression can make you believe things about yourself that isn't true. You literally have to tell yourself to "stop" when a negative thought enters your mind. Medication only slows it down, but the most powerful weapon against it is your own mind. You literally have to retrain your way of thinking..daily affirmations..finding the positives..and venting...not allowing things to burrow deep inside. It's not easy..but eventually things will and do get better. Do not believe those feelings!! We all know differently about you!! xxx <3

I don't think so. TTC is tough on people - i am very lucky and can only imagine the strain and its bound to be a big part of how you are feeling at the present. Plus you have just changed meds haven't you? You are bound to take a dip as your body adjusts. What other therapies have you tried

I have to agree with Jen on this one and say you have to conquer your own mind to solve the problems you are having. A good therapist will be able to support you to do that.

Try watching The Secret it may help you, you can stream it through the Internet on www.thesecret.tv

I will do my best to help you from a distance.

i think sometimes that a baby can help you see the light at the end of the tummel and helps you to think clearly and carry on and make a good go at life..if i didnt have my babies god knows wher ei would be right now !! and i struggle with all you do x

I wanted to hold off before I posted on your thread yesterday Diane.

First off you are not being selfish! But you do raise a good point! Before everyone starts jumping on my back, let me explain...

From my own experience I know that for those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeve, we do pass our insecurities on to our children.

There are people out there who never argue, cry, show frustration or shout etc. etc. in front of their kids and I applaud them I really do, because I can't. It takes a lot for me to hide my emotions (as anyone who knows me can tell you) and I hate that fact. Just yesterday I was in a heap on the floor in floods of tears, all of which my kids heard or saw. What kind of a crap mother does that make me?! I too am battling anxiety and depression and in hind site, wish I'd got myself sorted before having children of my own.

HOWEVER....I think your situation is slightly different as a lot of your up and down moods this year have been on the back of ttc! You have had a particularly tense few months recently and I'm sure your self esteem has taken a battering. Thankfully though you have a supportive husband and that makes a world of difference.

I agree with so much of what's been said by the other ladies. Our mind is our own worst enemy and yet it's the key to our own happiness!!

I personally think you'd make a brilliant Mummy and hope that one day very soon you will be x x x

Thank you all girls for your lovely comments, they all made me cry. I have had an appointment with my psychologist and gp today. My GP has advised me to up my betablockers again as my anxiety and depression are linked so hopefully this will help.

I am hoping that are trip to the US next month will herald that much wanted bfp as I will be relaxed. Have to get my day 21 bloods done this month so hopefully they will come back clear. I think I maybe am too stressed at the mo to let things happen I am not using ov tests this month or not month and just bd when we feel like it around ov time and see what happens.

Thank you all girls for your posts, I would be lost without your help and support.xxx

I put off having children for a long time because I have battled with anxiety since being really quite young!

I too find it very hard ti hide my emotions when im having a really bad day, but generally my children keep me focused on whats really important..........my family!!!!

There will be days you think 'omg - i cant cope'..........but is that really any different to lots of mums???? My mum doesnt have panic/anxiety and is he calmest happiest person I know.........but she still has days when she would like to run away from all the stresses of life!! Were only human!

Good luck with TTC and with battling this condition........im here should you need anyone!