I don't know what the heck is up with me. All the insecurities, paranoia are resurfacing again, i'm avoiding going out unless its too work coming home on a friday nite and not going out again to monday morning ain't good. I'm seeking constant reassurance in work which is driving my boss up the wall and my confidence is sinking through the floor again. I'm starting to question can i really manage med free after all. Am also gutted that two of my best chums knew i had my appointment this week and i haven't heard a word from either of them to see how it went.

I need a shake or a kick up the arse any volunteers

bend over!


come on mrs, get your self dressed, take yourelf out for a walk, blow the cobwebs away, feed the ducks at the park or summit.

i am sure the fresh air will help you refocus hun xxxx

Awwww hun you have already proven that you can go med free, you've done it for 17 weeks!! Thats a great acheivement!! I agree with Jo you need to get out for a little bit, go for a walk xxx

You have done fantastic being 17 weeks med free. We are all so proud of you as im sure your hubby is too!

You are having a minor setback, which is understandable and normal. Im not clinically depressed and I would find it hard going to feel happy, secure and like I can cope with work etc for 17wks. Everyone has little wobbles sometimes (I had mine last week lol).

Do try and go out this afternoon or tonight. What Jen said to me last week was true- you need to force yourself to go out because if you dont it will become a true fear/established pattern of behaviour. I went to the chippy on my own, and then to Tesco with OH that night. Then yesterday we took Caitlin to softplay. While im not saying I did those things with a big smile on my face it was def better than staying indoors and worrying even more that I was becoming a recluse.
Could you get a takeaway for tea & you go pick it up? Like a reward for getting out lol? Or go to shop and buy yourself something nice for lunch tomorrow?

Maybe your friends are worried to contact you incase it was bad news & they dont feel able to talk about it. I had a friend come over this week and I tried to tell her about feeling a bit blue & i may aswell have talked to the wall. I still think she a lovely girl, but some people just like to keep things on th surface and dont feel comfortable talking about emotions/feelings etc. Still not nice for you to feel ignored though.

You have done so well. What I would say though is, if you reach a point were you really do think you are starting to fall apart go back to dr. There is no shame in having to go back on meds for a short time, perhaps trying dif ones that are safe in pg. dont put your health/future at risk just to try and prove to people that you are coping if you dont think you are x

Snoopy makes sense (dont tell her i said that). Even people without depresion would struggle to go 17 weeks without feeling peed off and fed up at some point so dont beat yourself up for it. I also agree its easy to get stuck in the rut of not going out and a bit of fresh air often does the world of good, just have a walk around the park with hubby holding hands and nattering, its nice to have the cobwebs blown aay for a while. And i also agre maybe your friends dont wanna mention your appt in case something bad was said and they upset you, id doubt it was a deliberate snub. I have my best friend and caelyn's godmum TTC atm and i could quite cheerfully ask her 'WELL????????' everytime i see her cos im so excited for her but i know it would be mean if nowt happening so i keep my trap shut til she says anything to me. Could be the same thing hon xxx

Thanks girls, hubby wasn't taking no for an answer today again so we went for a nosey round the shopping centre, managed to get him his birthday card its h8is birthday tuesday, his valentines card and some new clothes for work. We are defo going out next weekend I know that already and then the following weekend its our youngest niece's birthday party.

I know I need to give myself a kick at the mo and think I might join the gym as it will keep me amused and get me out of the house a bit more, oh also goes so we would be spending time together in the evenings after work.

Hope you are feeling a bit better this week snoopy and well done for going out on your own