Following on from mara's post. As you may remember I applied for some uni courses last year and was offered a place on 4 courses. One of the courses was a course i had begun a few years ago lost confidence doing and left within a few weeks. I so regret this decision.

I feel that i have so many regrets in my life at the mo about things i have not done and feel that depression has shaped my life since i was a teen. I have very little confidence, hate what i see in the mirror and seem to fail at most things i do ttc being a prime example. I feel that i need to further myself to give myself some confidence and self belief again. Over the last decade i have started numerous courses at college that i have thrown myself into 100 per cent then lost my confidence and left.

The course i really want to do means fees of approx 20k which i think means it will never happen. I stress about money all the time as it is and we both work full time. I'm scared that if i don't give myself a kick up the ass now i am going to spend the rest of my life with huge regrets.

Sorry there doesn't seem to be much point to this post just needed to write things down.

I constantly regret not taking my opportunities at Uni but I know that if I went and retrained I'd have years and years following where I'd be on a lower wage than I am now. Hence it's not an option at the moment. But I get the urge to do it constantly.

If you've ruled out the £20K course for now write it down somewhere safe so that you never forget it but then get it out of your head and focus on something that is achievable in the here and now. Maybe put it into a 10 year plan for yourself rather than a 5 year one?

If you want to do something then why not work on something a bit less demanding so that you achieve it and build on your confidence levels? Are there any other courses that take your fancy? Even if it's something creative rather than acedemic? You've got a lot on your plate already so try not to overface yourself. At the moment your focusing on your health and fertility and that could mean some big changes in your life soon. Let yourself deal with that and then set yourself some new targets? x

Aww thanks lisa hun thats a good idea about the 10 year plan. At the moment we are trying to clear as much debt as possible so maybe 5 years down the line it might be more of an option. Think i am trying to distract myself from ttc at the mo. Hows things with you huni, hope you are feeling a bit brighter today? You are an amazing lady and the man who you deserve us out there for you xxx

Thanks hun. I'm feeling a little perkier today, lets see if it lasts after he drops Amelia off tonight. I've done a bit of (shock horror) exercise this morning after a lie in till 10! That's helped a ton. Now I'm going to do the food shop and have a tidy round.

TTC has been such a painful journey for you so far but I have a feeling this is your year. And I'm not just saying that! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aww thanks hun. Glad you are feeling a wee bit brighter today, it will get easier. Thinking of you xx