Ok i'm beginning to feel like i'm going about this all wrong. I've been speaking to a few people who were close to Laura and they are all in the gloomy depressed grieveing thing and i can't do that.

I had 4 days of bad crying and blubbering and hiding away. Over the past 2 days i've been feeling a little brighter and even went out to the shops after my scan today. I think i'm beginning to accept that she's gone and i want to remember how i seen her best. My mischievious, mental, a bit batty and very entertaining friend.

My grieveing is about remembering and celebrating her. I refuse to get bogged down in the how and where she died. I want to memorise every minute we spent together that was happy and how much of a laugh we had and the places we went. I don't want to remember her in the house alone and dead (sorry if that offends anyone). I want my best friend to live in my memory how i knew her best.

Am i wrong? Why do i feel like i people think i'm doing it wrong or that i didn't care as much as they did. I know everyones got a different way of dealing with things but Laura was an amazing woman and i want to remember her that way.

Please tell me i'm going about this the right way. I've never lost anyone before and have never had to deal with this amount of grief.

Dee
x

aww hun, your doing well aye. your remembering her for the right reasons and being happy for the life she did have. she wouldnt of wanted you all upset and sad for weeks would she now? xx

There is no right way, you're dealing with it your way.. which is good you're remembering the best of Laura xx

No she woulda slapped me silly and told me to buck up and get on with it. I just want to make this as positive as i can x

I really don't think there is a right way to grieve hun. Everyone is different and deals with things differently. When my Nanna died me, my sis, dad, uncle &grandad all sat around and cried but also laughed loads about all the good times we'd had. And it's been like that since, sometimes cry, sometimes laugh. I know my Nanna wouldn't want me to cry so I try to just think of the good times. I'm sure Laura would feel the same.
Big hugs hun, you're dealing with it fine, you shouldn't feel wrong at all. xxx

I agree with everyone else hun there isn't a right way it's just however you deal with it. I think it's good to think of the positive things and celebrate her rather than talk about the whys and what ifs, they don't do anyone any good.
*hugs*

i did love her, sooooooooooo much. I'm not a doom and gloom person. I'm a very strong lady and don't like to dwell on the bad for too long. I just want to see her how she was. She wouldn't want me mopin about she'd kick my arse x

Dee you know better than any of us that she would have definatly kicked your ass for moping, you've done your crying for now, it will come back again, probably when you least expect it tbh but how ever you feel best is the right way to grieve.
For someone of Lauras age I really believe I celebration of life is the way to go. A friend of mine passed last year and his wake was a riot, not sure it really should have been but everyone celebrated what he did and who he was. No dwelling on what might have been.

Hugs xxx

Hun

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, everyone deals with grief in their own way and in their own time. I think Laura would be happy that you aren't moping about how and where she died, she would want you to remember the good times you had together and take comfort in them. Just because you aren't sad or depressed all the time doesn't mean you loved her or miss her anything less than anyone else who has lost her.

Grieve in your own time and in the way that is best for you, Laura was an independent spirit so she would want you to deal with her loss in whatever way you think is best.

Thinking of you xxx

everyone has there own way they deal with loss and grieve, i think your doing everything right for you and thats what matters, laura would be proud to see you now xxxxxx big hugs darling xxxxx

hi dee hope you are ok i agree with everyone there is no right or wrong way you seem to be doing great and remembering her that way is the best in my opinion xx

thank you everyone. I just seem to have been forgotten by everyone close to her. It's like i was never her friend. The only person who tells me things is her neighbour lynn who i only met a handful of times. Fergie won't even reply to my textxs.

I have dreamt about her. She told me that she couldn't come back properly but wanted to tell me summit. That was bout 3 nights ago. I talk out loud to her and ask her what she wants to watch on tv with me. We liked the same programmes. It makes me feel better. I haven't felt her but i'm sure when she's ready she'll give me a clue.

X