Are you ok ?? have not heard from you since your visit got no cred to text and no free hands to ring sob sob

I think she's in the middle of moving house chick x

I was wondering where she dissapeared to as well, hope your good dee x

found me rach lol.

I'v been busy and keepin to myself. Not been brilliant but dealin with stuff. Been to council on friday. Mia had her mmr and 3rd shot of wotever it was monday. Been packing today. Tryin to get organised is all.

I'll be over thursday if that's ok?

dee
x

aye thats cool .. Calebs doing my head in today so if you hear screaming it'll be me lol

lol i'll have to dig out my ear muffs x

i think i have nipple thrush

Rach get to a breastfeedibg clinic or hv they will give you cream and Ava a medicine so she doesn't pass it back onto you. Chances are she has oral thrush if you have it.

Dee hope everything works out ok, do you think you'll get somewhere around your family to live?

ive rang health visitor waiting on call back i was awake at 1am with the worst case of itchy nipple ive given up bf i just cant cope with all the stress it is causing and now this i feel like ive failed because my body wont do what my brains telling it also if i keep bf Caleb suffers and if i dont Ava loses out but im also being put on anti depressants as i have deppression so i figure this is why i may be feeling such utter dispair at everything i do as a rule i never talk about whats going on in my brain etc but i feel so lost and alone stuck here unable to go out or get anything right ... i dont want sympathy just someone to listen every now and then

Rach you can always come here to talk it's what we are here for!

If you can't continue to bf that's fine don't beat yourself up Hun, Ava will not suffer because shes on formula! And if the stress is that much neither caleb or Ava will be benefiting from an un happy mum!

You do what's best for you and the kids!

You can vent to me babe x

I'm hoping to get a house in the town i came from. Packed another 6 boxes today so i'm getting there.

x

Where abouts are you from? My mums from east lotian, about 20 miles south of Edinburgh.

Take it easy! Dont over do it!

I'm from Tranent. Where's your mum from? x

London !!!!!!!! thanks guys i dont really know how to express what im feeling or thinking and most the time its so erratic that id end up confusing myself let alone anyone else i just know the black hole im in is getting bigger the other day i begged my oh to put Ava back where she came from i was in tears and totally oblivious to reality and the fact that sending her back is impossible hence why i am now seeing the gp and as from friday he is putting me on happy pills and making a plan of action i think he wants me top see the psychiatric nurse to assess how bad the dep is

You didn't seem that bad on saturday. What's happened since then? x

oh believe me i was bad on saturday after you left we went to the park when we got home i broke down i hid away unable to even talk dont get me wrong im not having a breakdown so you wont find me in my dressing gown cowering in the corner i am still able to do day to day things and im not constantly at the bottom i can have total highs or extreme lows i just dont have the inbetween... plus i dont talk much as i said before and have said to you many times when you are here lol

You do talk though lol x

not hugely i mean about myself lmao stop it woman your making me giggle

giggle??? how old are you pmsl tee hee x

at the moment i feel about 5 ... i need mothering

Now that i don't do lol. A cuddle and a pick me up i can x

you want me to pick you up....

Lol you two ate nuts!
Rach I really hope the mess help you, I can understand what you I tend to have huge highs and massive lows and not much in between, I think it might have been the pill I was on.

Dee mum is from east linton, her Haddington her oh is in pencaitland so not too far from where your moving to.

lol i stayed in East Linton for 6 years. Which bit is she in? x

feeling quite chirpier for seeing dee today .... lol kell pecan is a nut hence the alias i have ... well ive got the doctor tomorrow afternoon so i shall fill you in when ive been .. i just ran a bath and the bloody thing was cold so i now have to have a shower i dont like them as i have to stand and cant relax